First the good:
The cashier at the store was awesome! Lady, if you're reading this, I totally get it. You didn't give a crap where the ad was from, you were gonna price match it for me. I get it that your manager showed up and gave us both a what for about y'all not honoring that particular store (which I think is BS because this is the first I've heard about it). "Local" stores my ass. Watch me use that circular again. I'll just make sure I don't see your manager anywhere. Not my fault that [store] from [town -- that is further away than the store I shopped at today] sends it to my house every week. (I swear they're trying to get people to stop price matching and just stick with the savings catcher -- which only does national chains, nothing for the small local chains.)
Hubby did two awesome things for me today. First, he took Levi for me and rocked him back to sleep around 5am. Levi now rolls over in his sleep. Said rolling over causes him to wake up. So he's waking up several times throughout the night because he's rolled over and freaked himself out. I said, not very loudly, "stop fing rolling over" to Levi (tbf - this was about the 5th time he'd woken up throughout the night). So, hubby took him, and got him back to sleep.
Second, hubby let me go grocery shopping all by MYSELF!!! I can't tell you the last time that happened. I was excited! I was able to go in and out of Sam's (just needed formula) in less that 10 minutes! I was out of walmart in less than an hour! It was glorious! (Total time out of the house was about 2 hours including drive time -- and I had to get gas before I went to town.)
And now...
Fuck it all.
I knew we were going to be a little tight this paycheck. Not a huge biggie. We're going to be having lots of soup and biscuits. And chicken. (10lb bag for less than $6! That's at least 10 meals waiting to happen right there!) My overly generous husband has just spent over $100 that we do.not.have to help out Darlene. (Because in her infinite wisdom she just knew that the oil in that car that we gave her was not dripping onto the starter like is has FOR YEARS and we even told her as such when we gave it to her. I had only had the car for about 5 years and been dealing with that oil leak for 3.5 years!) We were gonna be in the red about $30. I found some things to get rid of and then we were gonna be in the black for about $50. I can't even move money around safely right now because I'm afraid he'll spend it. (She should be getting TEA/snap soon -- I would like at least half of what hubby spent on her today back. We already pay for the insurance, tags, and taxes on it. I want it to be out of my name already. Seriously. I want to "sell" it to her and be done with the damn thing.)
I told hubby on Sunday to just get soda at sam's.... he didn't. Now we don't have any more to get more. He used his paypal card to "float" transactions that'll eventually come out of our bank. He racked up a total of ~$120 worth over the weekend. (hubby is addicted to soda. I sorta am too, but I'm going to clean out the coffee pot and just deal with it. I bought juice. I have tea. I can survive.) We canceled the auto payments for our refrigerator and washer and dryer. I'm afraid they'll come and try to take them because I don't know how we're going to be able to pay for them now. Hubby said something about just paying for a week on them. But then we're gonna end up a week behind.
This is fucking sucks. I stayed within my budget for food. Only "extra" I bought was stuff for the boys for Easter (one outfit they can wear more than once -- we'll see with Levi, an Easter bucket each, and some cheap candy and bubbles). I was still only about 20-30 over my total food budget with the extras that weren't food!
Fuck it all. We shouldn't be helping her out when we can't afford it. (hubby knew this!!!)
I shouldn't be responsible for having to feed her damn kids at least one meal a day! (they have been over every single damn day since the 6th - going on 8 days now) WE CAN'T FUCKING AFFORD IT! FFS WE'RE GOING TO BE EATING SOUP, BISCUITS, AND LOTS OF SANDWICHES! DOES IT SOUND LIKE I BOUGHT A SHIT TON OF EXTRAS SO I CAN FUCKING FEED AN EXTRA MOUTH, OR THREE, EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY?!?!?!?!?!!!?!??!!!
I feel used, and I fucking hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm tired of being a free babysitter. I'm tired of providing meals for kids that aren't mine (because these two are two of the most fucking pickiest kids I've ever fucking met -- and they're 10&11!)
I can't do it anymore.
I want time with just my family, and I haven't had it in way too long.
meh
(Forgot to mention that our 10th anniversary falls this month. If nothing else, they're banned from the house that day. Already can't afford anything but a special meal at home. I'm not gonna feed them too. Hell no.)
edit: I'm also late for my period. so there's that. I'll start freaking out once I hit a week. Right now I'm going on 3 days late. I'm usually pretty regular within +/-2 days. fuck
Edit 2: besides free food and baby sitting.... They take showers here and wash their clothes here. Fffffffffffffuuuuuuuu
Submitted March 15, 2016 at 03:35AM by Theupixf http://ift.tt/1SO0cPz breakingmom
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