It was 11:42 AM on a Wednesday. “Perfect timing” thought Norman. Norman loved Wednesdays. He didn’t yet have the pressure of fabricating plans for the weekend, and also had two and half days of solid work for the company under his belt. 11:42 AM was the perfect time for Norman to head to the break room to heat up his leftovers before the lunch rush swarmed the microwave. Today Norman had peas, rice and standard unseasoned chicken breast from the night before. He had contemplated giving the leftover chicken to Norman the night before, but decided he had never intentionally fed Norman people food before, so why start now?
Norman walked gingerly to the break room, as not to cause a ruckus. He enjoyed the few moments of peace he had in the empty breakroom, and didn’t want to risk anyone following him in for some dreaded small talk. Norman went to the refrigerator, pulled out his store brand Tupperware filled with leftovers, and proceeded to place it in the microwave for three minutes. Norman sat down at the circular table closest to the microwave and let his mind wander as the Tupperware spun in the microwave.
He thought back to last night’s episode of CSI, and a particular commercial he had seen. It was a commercial for Dancing with the Stars, and while not much of a dancer, Norman couldn’t help but admire the few magical moves he saw on the thirty second commercial. Norman began to get lost in the moment, “I wonder what my signature move would be?” he thought. Norman moved his eyes toward the microwave and saw that only 45 seconds remained, so he stood up and walked to the microwave. With his mind still racing on the dance move possibilities, Norman quickly scanned the breakroom and saw no one present. He faced the microwave and proceeded to do a standard disco arm roll and air point, similar to the move he had seen in John Travolta’s “Saturday Night Fever” back in the seventies. He of course didn’t engage his legs in this move, as he had not stretched yet today. It would simply be too risky. Norman practiced the move two more times before he heard the microwave DING.
“Nice moves” said John the janitor. Norman immediately felt flushed, “How could I have not seen John there? How long has he been there? What if he tells someone?” Norman thought as his mind raced. “Haha” Norman laughed awkwardly. As hard as he tried to remain cool, calm and collected, he knew his face must be redder than the top of his store brand Tupperware container. Norman walked back to his desk, and had all but lost his appetite. He couldn’t help but continue to play through worst case scenarios. To make matters worse, Norman’s peas had become extremely mushy in the microwave. After nibbling on his meal, Norman decided to save it by his desk and take it home for Norman later. “Just this one time” Norman thought. Norman realized he disliked the thought of wasting a perfectly good unseasoned chicken breast more than he disliked feeding Norman people food.
Submitted March 18, 2016 at 08:14PM by TheEnterprise2345 http://ift.tt/1VjypqT lifeofnorman
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