First, the 3-year-old is able to operate all the child safety gates we have as well as deadbolt locks and can now exit the house at will.
And all of this stupid stuff... I'm feeling ridiculously overwhelmed with everything on my mind right now and I don't have anyone in my life who understands.
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I have to plan a birthday party, including all the details about where, when, how/who to invite, decorations, food, snacks(?). I'm also organizing all birthday gifts for the child, which we're planning to present on his actual birthday. I'm also planning a family vacation in the Spring, with absolutely 0 help or input from my husband including travel agent, hotel, plane tickets, attraction tickets, dinner reservations, daily agendas, packing lists and budgeting.
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I have to remember to get my kid a flu shot. Oh, and remember to fill out the developmental questionnaire for his 3 year check up. Oh, and remember to ask about the weird thing I saw him doing that I'm worried might be a new skeletal issue. Oh, and remember to ask about the weird thing I saw him doing that might be related to OCD. Oh, and I had to navigate ending our early intervention (aged out at 3) and finding a new physical therapist and dealing with insurance and intake and scheduling for that.
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The child has outgrown all of the clearance shoes I bought for him this summer, so he has no winter shoes. I need to find some that will fit his orthotics, some that he can wear in slush/snow/wet, a spare pair for when he plays in mud puddles at school and I have to wash the first pair.
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He just transitioned to a new classroom, so I'm dealing with making sure he understands what's going on and meshes well with his teachers. And teaching them all about how to deal with his PT issues and how to deal with all his shoes.
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Holidays are coming up, and I'm in charge of deciding on and sewing a Halloween costume. I'm in charge of figuring out where to go for Thanksgiving (likely my husband's family, but even then, I have to nag him and nag him to get a date/time/place/potluck item). I'm in charge of figuring out how to split up gift giving for kid's birthday versus Christmas, and in charge of purchasing and wrapping all gifts and doing all the decorating.
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We have so many house repair issues that I'm losing my mind over and worrying how we'll pay for all of it, or maybe just find a new house? Except that...
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I found out four weeks ago that I was losing my job. Then I had an interview, and another, and another. Good news, right? Except that two of the places are stringing me along, no firm offers but a lot of "Oh, I'm sure you are going to be getting an offer any day now" for the past two weeks. And they're wildly different and have wildly different pros and cons and I have no idea how to choose if I'm offered both. Maybe neither and we'll end up living in a refrigerator box in an underpass.
Plus the two certification tests I'm studying for, my actual work, my psychiatrist appointments because I have recently diagnosed OCD, my loveless marriage, my filthy house, my combative martyr of a Just No mother, and the recent realization that my son is just not important enough to my family for them to actually spend time with.
This was so long. And it's not even everything that I have to take care of, like, today or this week or this month or this year or this lifetime. I'm just so fucking exhausted and broken.
Submitted October 13, 2017 at 09:27PM by brmochkn http://ift.tt/2kMb8nN breakingmom
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