I'm almost certain my childhood classifies as abuse, but constantly my mother denies it and even goes so far as to say that it's my "bad attitude" and me being dramatic.
To give you a little backstory, I grew up in a little town in TN known mostly for it's extremely overpriced state funded college, being one of the meth capitals of the south and rasicm. Around the time I turned 7 my dad joined a motercycle gang that opperated in a neighboring town and he then proceeded to do copious ammounts of drugs for the next 2 years until he was arrested for making and distributing. I only remember a little about that day but one thing I do remember is my dad setting fire to our garage in an attempt to destroy evidence. Fast forward a bit. My dad is released. I've just turned 13, the heavens open up and a flood of hormones descends upon me. Being a poor hormone riddled girl I start to gain weight and my dad takes notice. Mind you at 13 I was 5'9" and about 140lbs. He begins to force me to go on 8 mile hikes to lose the weight and when that didn't work he would call me a fat cow and tell me to "stop eatting all the god damn time" when I would come home from school starving because I'd skip lunch to try and lose weight. He would threaten to put locks on the refrigerator. He once said that when I turned 16 he was going to have me in a bikini washing men's motorcycles for them. My mom never tried to stop this once and even encouraged me to diet. No matter how much I would diet I still gained weight and at the age of 17 I was 5'10" and 190- 200 Lbs. Eventually my dad rejoins his old biker gang and even becomes president of a chapter. This doesn't go over well as he becomes addicted to drugs again. This leads to an incident where he went to florida and came back with and industrial stash bath salts ( the drug kind not the relaxing kind) and goes completely insane. I don't know how much he did but I know on several occasions he would yell at my sister and myself for "signaling the feds" and being out to get him. Apparently the club didn't take kindly to my dad smoking all of their drugs up so they kick him out, but not before he has and affair with another woman. He even moved in with her for about 6 months, including during christmas. This absolutely shattered my mom. She had been putting up with his constant demand to be waited on hand and foot while she was at home and while he was unemployed. He constantly called all kind of foul names and I remember constantly being woken up by their yelling and screaming. Anyways my dad eventually comes back because the woman he was with got arrested. For drugs. Surprise. I had graduated and was still living at home because I had no clue how to be a functioning adult. My mom was too obsessed with my dad's infidelity and trying to cover it up before her family sees it. She never helped me with resumes and I was down right told I was never going to college so put that out of my mind. Well the slew of screaming and yelling started back up. My dad would demand that all three women in the house wait on him hand and foot. I eventually refused but I had basically been trained since birth to cater to my dad so it took me some time. Then came the boyfriend named Andrew. Andrew wouldn't take no for an answer. Whether it was when I told him to go home or when I told him I wasn't in the mood. He didn't listen. One day when Andrew was over I decided to take a nap. He took this as the cue to initiate sex. When I eventually stopped him, I went into our living room and told my dad that Andrew needed to leave and what had just happend. My dad looked me in the eye and said he didn't care. That it wouldn't count as rape since I wasn't a virgin. I told my Mom and she justified his reaction by saying that that is just how he sees things. "You can't blame him for the way he was raised." About three years ago I got out. One night when I was 21, he was high and accused me of stealing the peices to his broken chess set. I off handedly said that "I didn't care about his chess set." He screamed in my face calling me a fat ass. Saying I was stupid, "a retard", lazy. I got pissed so told him to kindly fuck off. He punched me in the face, busting my lip. I hit him back. He got his arm around my neck and began choking me. My mom watched this happen and up until the choking, she said nothing. She doesn't understand why I was mad that she allowed him to stay in the house or why after that I left. She even says that I started it by mouthing off and that he was just trying to discipline his daughter. His 21 year old daughter. The last and final time anything has happend was on my birthday dinner of this year. Mom begged me to let them take me out. But dad got to pick the place. We sat down, and he began to lay into me about all kinds of nonsense. About how I hate him and have no reason to, how I always cause drama, I'm the problem. I walked out of the restauraunt, he followed me out and began yelling in my face. Ignoring him, I got in the car, he and rest of my family followed. They got in the car, where dad proceeded to begin screaming again. I decided just to catch a cab or something so I started to open the door and get out, when my dad reversed the car at full speed while I was barely out of my seat. This basically made me cling to a car going full speed, in hopes that I wouldn't fall out, but also unable to get back in the vehicle. He slammed the brakes hard and I was able to get back in where he kept threatening to hit me. After that I haven't seen him. My mom continues to say all of this is my fault. She says my dad trying to fling me from a car was because I had a bad attitude. She denies that I ever came to her about what he said to me concerning Andrew. She says she loves him and that despite the drug abuse, the constant direspect and degradation of her and her children, that he has done nothing wrong, just that he got on drugs. Its all just the drugs.
Submitted October 23, 2017 at 08:01AM by SpasticLlamamama http://ift.tt/2xYBbtc abuse
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