My hoarder MIL lives with us due to medical problems that she is recovering from. (And, no, it is not within the realm of practical feasibility for her to move out for at least the next 6-8 months, so please don't make suggestions along those lines.)
She left an entire house full of crap behind (literally, because mice took over the place last winter while she was hospitalized) that my husband now has the task of going through so the house can be sold for tear-down value. Since she moved in with us, her ability to acquire crap has been greatly reduced since she can't walk more than half a mile, drive, or carry more than a couple of pounds while walking, and my husband won't let her visit her house since it's unsafe for someone with breathing problems, which she has. However, even with only a small amount of items, her room is messy with items covering every available surface and the bed. At first this was explainable because she had problems bending down and so could not reach beyond the top drawers of furniture and had to leave items out to access them. However, she no longer has this problem and now can even access the crisper drawers of the refrigerator, so there's no excuse for why there's stuff piled everywhere. I also believe she has been hoarding on a micro scale, because she has kept an empty oatmeal container, an empty nut container, and one of those mesh bags that onions come in, and stuff like that, despite not seeming to need them for anything. Maybe she does have a use for them but it just concerns me knowing her history of being a hoarder and shopping addict.
MIL doesn't have much to do since she's retired and doesn't know anyone in the area. We want her to get involved with some hobbies where she can meet people or something, but she doesn't really like socializing outside her family, so I don't think she really wants to do this. So basically she has gotten a bit obsessed with cooking, sewing, gardening, and other domestic activities. I am wary of eating her cooking due to her history of living in unsanitary conditions, but she guilts us if we don't. I made another post on here about this a few weeks ago but I deleted it, as I will also delete this one after some time to protect my identity.
ANYWAY, this brings me to the latest problem.
Since December I have been doing a massive declutter and gave away over 50% of our stuff. However, I still had several items that I hadn't gotten around to giving away yet, being stored in one of those blue Rubbermaid containers. Among those items was some kitchenware that was either broken (ie. chipped and discolored cheap dishes from Target) or that we barely used (ie. pie/cake server and cheese grater). When she found out I was giving away these items, she INSISTED that I should keep them because they were still useful. Regardless of the fact that:
a) she doesn't eat cheese or cook anything involving cheese, let alone a cheese grater;
b) she doesn't bake or eat cake or pie;
c) the dishes are chipped and discolored, in fact one of them has a pretty large chip on it that I am concerned she will cut herself on, and we have other dishes anyway;
d) it's MY stuff that I bought with MY money and I should get to determine what happens to it, NOT her.
I know she's going to make a whole thing out of it if I bring it up so I'm not sure what to do. I don't want extra clutter in the kitchen, especially as we live in an apartment and it doesn't exactly have a ton of cabinet space. I especially don't want broken items as they not only look cheap, but also are potentially hazardous. And most of all I do NOT want her to have any control over items that are not hers, especially if it relates to keeping items "just in case" which is a hallmark of a hoarder, which we know she is. I feel like this is yet another example of her trying to exert control over the household (other examples are the aforementioned guilting us into eating her cooking and even discouraging me from doing the cooking, and her leaving her stuff scattered all over the dining room table and other surfaces, although I nipped that in the bud and she was PISSED about it and barely talked to me for a week.)
Anyway, what do I do here to prevent this situation from escalating even more?
Submitted November 01, 2017 at 03:43AM by moresludge_lesswaste http://ift.tt/2z2Tobm hoarding
No comments:
Post a Comment