(I posted about this on my regular account to raised by narcissists but I guess it was the wrong time of day to post because I didn't really get a lot of activity.)
Hey ladies, I'm going through a really tough situation right now. I'm 27 years old and single mom with a 5 year old. My father is my boss, he controls my income. He is my landlord, he controls my house to an extent and he is my neighbor so he's always watching. He pays for my cell phone which isn't that big of a deal and he sometimes helps me with my car insurance because I can't afford it. My most recent pay check was $196. He doesn't allow me to work more than 30 hours because according to him I don't deserve to work more than that and he doesn't want to pay me. When I am at work with him he will tell me how useless I am, how much of an idiot I am and he's all around emotionally abusive.
I just finished getting my associate's degree and I got accepted into a major University. Which is a pretty big accomplishment for me because my kid's father and I were together for 3 years and he was sexually abusive, physically abusive and emotionally abusive. I'm still dealing with PTSD, anxiety and depression from that situation.
My dad has paid for my tuition for my associates degree, he promised to continue to pay my tuition so that I can receive my bachelor's degree. But so far I paid for my first semester with a Pell Grant and the rest out-of-pocket with no help from him.
My brother also works for him and my dad also paid for my brother's tuition. My brother lives in another house my dad owns does not pay rent, does not property tax, does not give my dad a dime of money because that's how they worked it out. I, on the other hand, have to pay the mortgage on the home that I live in, the property tax and everything else my dad says I have to pay. Meanwhile, the roof on my home is cracked and leaks whenever it rains. There is mold and rot in the ceiling and my dad refuses to fix it because he says, "I let you live in that house when I could have somebody else living there and get twice as much money for rent. Your rent is so cheap you should just fix it yourself. I don't have to fix it because you're my daughter."
In addition to the crack that's leaking there's another crack in a different spot of the house, the oven is old needs to be replaced, the refrigerator is old and needs to be replaced also. I haven't been able to tell him any of these things because when I initially told him about the part of the roof that's leaking he told me that if I brought it up to him again he would evict me.
I have seen a therapist, but I stopped because I don't make enough money to pay for the appointments. She told me that my dad is the textbook definition of a narcissist and it's a domestic violence situation because he has so much control over my finances.
I need to find another job, but if I do that he will raise my rent and if I move out of the house he owns he will most likely fire me in retaliation. I can't speak to him about the way I feel or his behavior because he will gaslight me and make me feel guilty about the way I feel.
TLDR/My dilemma is this: stay with my dad and work for him but continue to be abused so that I can have school paid for OR find a job that pays better and get student loans that will leave me in a lot of debt that all have to pay off for the rest of my life.
I don't know what to do.
Submitted January 26, 2017 at 11:23PM by heyhaythrowaw4y http://ift.tt/2jBF4Og breakingmom
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