I had to.
In a foreign country, across the world. I'd given my little family a wonderful life. Decent income. Huge beautiful apartment. Pool. Security. Gourmet healthy food. World travel. Great kids toys. Care-free lifestyle. Constant true love and true attention. You name it.
Our story had went sort of viral. Man abandons pregnant lady and verbally abuses her. I meet her and take her daughter completely as my own and travel the world with them. I become a savior, a noble man. Facebook blows up with the most amazing family photos and stories. Our beautiful family.
Here's the rough outline story, but this isn't even 1/100th of the scope or the incidents.
2 years ago, I met her when she was 4 months pregnant. We met between mutual friends, everything was legitimate. The original father had left back to his home country. We became quick friends and I decided I would date her when she gave birth.
Everything lined up between us, on paper. All hobbies, goals, spirituality, dreams, life outlook, health, aspirations, you name it. And she was sincere and real. I was sincere and real.
We dated for 9 months. Got extremely close because we cared for a daughter between us. Her family was legitimate nice people. They took me as their own son/brother. Regardless, I should have seen the signs. We then married after 8 or 9 months of official dating.
A month or two before marriage, the signs started. Yelling at me, talking down to me, sexual shaming, bringing up past lovers with no forgiveness. Telling me that she forgives the abandoning father and will never forgive me for a single past lover, when I was single. I could write for hours of all the horrible things she said and did.
But we lined up so well on paper. She was the person to compliment my own self for the rest of my life. The love of my life.
Two weeks after marriage she had backed herself into a corner, yelling and telling me I didn't want my own wife, throwing her ring at me, apologizing the next day.
The abuse continued and got worse as I put my ALL into my marriage, as a husband, and into being the best father for my daughter. I took countless days off work to be with and there for my family. I spent countless days working just staring off into space wondering wtf is going on, wasting hours and days. Staring.
She would be calm and life would be great for a week, sometimes 3 weeks. Then another door slammed in my face. Total of 9 or 10 door slams in 10 months of marriage. Again, could write for hours of all the horrible things she said and did.
Close friends stepped in, tried to help. She was so short sighted. Constantly projected her actions back onto me, twisted things at me, blamed me for her ruining the marriage.
Friends asked me if I was "done" with this BS many times. She told me she was done and we were divorcing even 2 months after marriage. Just dangling it in my face. She talked about divorce, how her daughter and her would okay on their own, how I don't love or consider my family. Divorce was never an option for me. Why? because her constant gripes, blowups, nagging, shaming, was for complete and utter bull shit. I thought she'd eventually realize that and stop dragging me through hell every few days/weeks. But no.
She was creating an identity of me in her head, that was more a reality to her than my actual true identity.
This week - the last straw happened. A spontaneous flight to another town with our daughter. She refused to book a flight home the next day, regardless of me saying "it's not about the money". She sent me terrible blameful and scornful messages. She said sorry. Then more messages. Back and forth on her word. Like always.
I called my parents on Friday and told them everything. They've been married 45 years and they even told me had to get out of this chaos. The counselor said the same thing.
She showed up Saturday morning and I told her about the divorce.
She was devastated. Now her and my daughter moved out today. They moved to a tiny little room across the city. Tiny space. One room. No refrigerator. No kitchen. Not safe. Not healthy. $1000 to their name.
She refuses to take my offer of a fully paid nanny for 2 months. Refuses any help from her family who live in this city as well.
My daughter is the most beautiful soul in the world and she loves me more than anyone could love anything. Actually, no. I love her more than anyone could love anything. In all of history.
My wife said sorry. Said she'd change. Said she realizes how terribly destructive she was.
I couldn't let her control this situation once again. Let her have the upper hand. What if she's "okay" for a year? Then we have my own kid and a lot more money. What if she goes back to her old self?
What if in a decade when we're extremely wealthy, what if she goes back to her old self? All because I told her we're divorcing, and then allowed her to manipulate me back into it. So she thought she could still control my identity.
It sucks. She's the love of my life. My wife. My daughter is the love of my life.
Will she get her act together and come back to me? Could I take her back?
I am ripped to shreds.
TL;DR: I dated a pregnant girl, married her, gave them the world, she abused me and tore that world apart. Today I kicked them out. I feel like shit
Submitted May 02, 2016 at 08:55PM by allthrownaway4 http://ift.tt/1Z3fQXa offmychest
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