Obligatory: This didn't happen today, but I figured you guys might get a kick out of it anyways.
So, be me.
I was in my room playing video games, like the massive nerd I am when suddenly my mom comes in the room and tells me to go outside. It dawns on me that I hadn't really gone outside for 3 days except the times where I let my dog into the yard to go piss and etc.
So, I figure she's definitely right and I should.
I grabbed my skateboard out of the garage and go to take a nice casual ride in my neighborhood. When I put my foot on, I realize that I left my shoes inside, but being a lazy shit stain, I decide that I'll just ride barefoot. I have before, and there is side walks, why not? Wrong. Fuck up numero uno.
I ride around for about 15 minutes before the second part of my fuck up happens. So, I'm cruising down the sidewalk when there is this bit where the sidewalk ramps slightly downward (If you are on a skateboard, it's just enough to notice an increase of speed going down it) and then at the bottom it flattens and there is a cross street. I'm going down this slight incline and just kinda enjoying the fresh air and not paying attention. (Uh oh.) I hit the bottom where it flattens out and I'm going a pretty decent speed. Then, I hear a car horn. I flick my head towards the street and see a big ass SUV about 5-8 feet infront of me.
I instinctively try to pull my board quickly so it it parallel to the cross street but I was sliding on my old, worn wheels. Then I do it.
I stomped down my foot to try and stop and oh Jesus Christ.
Not only had I stomped down my food and grated it against the sidewalk, but my FANTASTIC luck came in when I realize I had stepped on a rock and actually slashed the bottom of my foot pretty nicely.
Thankfully, I stopped and didn't get run over, but I was relieved to see I knew the driver as a kid who lives on my street. He hopped out pretty quickly and come over to make sure I was okay. When he saw the bleeding, he grabbed an old t-shirt out of his trunk and wrapped my foot. He was even nice enough to give me a ride home and help me inside.
Anyways, fast forward about 3 or 4 days later: the bottom of my foot was healing and thankfully didn't need stitches. That being said, I was instructed by my physician that I could walk on it as long as it was short distances and extremely carefully. This wasn't a problem considering I sit in my room most of the time anyways.
So, I was playing some league with friends in the afternoon and decided to walk to my fridge and grab a snack. I get up and carefully hop/walk to the kitchen trying to avoid putting weight on my foot. I get to our tile floored kitchen when I notice there is some liquid on the floor blocking the shortest route to the refrigerator. I considered walking around, but I my room is pretty far from the kitchen and was already tired from the hop/walk I had to do over to the kitchen. I decide to carefully walk through the liquid to cut down time on the trip.
I don't know if anyone knows this, but people use a vinegar solution to clean floors. And unbeknownst to me, my mom had spilled it on the floors.
Yeah.
So I put my foot into it not even thinking, and the burn instantly burns like fucking hell. It flairs up and I yank my foot back as quick as I possibly could. I let out a groan right as my mom came in. I told her what happened as tears welled up in my eyes. She just laughed, called me an idiot, and mopped up the floors. But she did make me food and brought it to my room.
But yeah
TL;DR: Don't touch mystery liquid.
Submitted May 26, 2016 at 11:08PM by MeepThroatMe http://ift.tt/1Z3vDWr tifu
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