Baby Showers: I thought I was broken, but I'm really just CF. childfree

I think I discovered today that I am CF. I think maybe I've known all along.

I just graduated from college, and some of my friends from high school stayed in our small town, got married, and are pregnant. I feel so distant from them now in every sense of the word, but I decided to attend a friend I'll call Mary's baby shower today to be a good sport.

The shower itself was beautifully done, but I felt SO out of place the entire time. Everyone was cooing over all of the gifts, the baby clothes and toys, and the older women were reminding the rest of us girls that soon this would be us. I was watching Mary open her presents and just COULD NOT understand why she was excited. Rationally, I was like OK, she's excited to have a baby, but to me she could have been opening up presents for her new refrigerator. I just could not get excited about it, and found the whole thing really boring.

Then we went outside and took photos. Girls were taking photos touching her belly, and were gushing about how they were SO excited to meet the little bundle, and when it came my time to take a photo with Mary, I elected NOT to touch her uterus. It was way too creepy. The whole thing just made me feel antsy, and I wanted to leave so bad.

I remember standing there, drinking my punch, feeling sad for these girls. Sad they were so incredibly excited about a stupid baby, sad that Mary was now going to be a boring mom forever living in our small town, and then I realized...why should I be sad? I don't HAVE to end up like them! I can move far away (which I'm planning on doing when I get a job out of state), pursue my hopes and dreams. I don't have to have 2.2 kids and a 3-bedroom house and a minivan and screaming infants and bratty rugrats. I can do whatever the hell I want with my life!

I'm FREE. I feel elated! I haven't told anyone, and I currently have no partner, but I'm holding this secret knowledge inside of me, and it's making me giddy.

Thanks Mary.

Submitted August 02, 2015 at 11:33AM by glazedpecans http://ift.tt/1DivaK1 childfree