Story time!
So a guy gets home from a long day of doing stuff and things and decides to make a sandwich. The sandwich itself was a beautiful sight, a thick layer of bacon, crispy lettuce, and fresh tomato. And of course mayonnaise. The guy then sits down and eats said sandwich and enjoys it immensely. He then walks back into the kitchen to clean up the mess from the sandwich making process. He puts the fresh tomatoes away. He puts the crispy lettuce away. There's no more bacon (obviously, it's bacon). He then grabs for the mayonnaise and clutches it by the lid. Alas, this particular lid just so happened to not be on all the way unbeknownst to the gentleman that is carrying it. As he's walking to the refrigerator to put away the jar of mayonnaise, the jar seperates from the lid and almost as if in slow motion falls to the ground. The bottom of the jar collides with the floor. He only had a split second to react and as he looked straight down at his feet where the jar had landed the impact of the open mayonnaise created an explosion of white goo. It hit the walls. It hit the windows. It hit the ceiling. Worst of all, a glob the size of a fist comes flying up and with no time to react, hits the gentleman right square in the open eye. And hair. Which was perfectly combed, mind you. He screams, more confused than anything, blindly feeling around the kitchen stumbling for the kitchen sink. This poor gentleman went from eating a delicious BLT to getting mayonnaise'd right in the eye ruining the good effects of the sandwich and by extension his whole night and by extensions extension his whole life. Learn from this poor gentleman. Stay away from mayonaise and sandwiches in general.
Spoiler alert: the guy is me, it happened to me, me guys, I was the guy.
Submitted March 17, 2016 at 12:25PM by Alexi5onfire http://ift.tt/1Wsk3Tu tifu
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