This isn't spam or anything please just read
This may be long so I'll put the Tl;DR up here:
TL;DR : I am trapped in a “perfect prison “ basically it seems I have an average life, but in realty I don’t. I have nothing that the average or even lower class person has, and there is no way for me to actually get what I want in my situation which may last indefinitely. I NEED your help, believe it or not I have no other options, absolute NONE. If you could I hope and pray that you can donate here . I may not deserve it for all I know, but if there's anything yo could do, this is the answer. I don’t wish to come off as rude but I need to be straight forward and assertive because this is the only chance I got, in a week from now, I don't when or if I ever will get another chance si this is literally my once in a lifetime chance to escape from here and at least live a somewhat “ normal “ lifestyle. Please you who are reading this, you are my only hope, I will not get lucky enough to do this again please help me, I need to be free.
~ Summarized: Before I start, I am now about to post this all that was written below was in a text document that took a long time to make ( you will see why) so if things seems inconsistent it's because I need to take the chance now and cannot wait, I may not be able to respond to comments shortly, so when I get the chance I will (all questions ( i hope) will be answered at some pint in the text below, pleas read all of it, thank you ):
I have never been happy, I was born into a " family " with the most f**ked up situation and scenario. I grew up w/ a single caretaker, my other parent has been gone since I was very little, they only have one sibling and both of there parents are dead. They would falsely accuse me of stealing things, when in reality they would forget or misplace them, I was thrown chairs and papers, pens, tables, silverware, electrical plugs etc. in grade school because of bad grads (I was emotional abused, told I was a mistake so I never had any motivation or encouragement). When they used to have friends, and when they would meet me, my caretaker would act very kind and polite, like the sweetest person who know, but as soon as they where gone, I was emotionally and physically abused, I was told to never speak about there actions, otherwise I would revive even worse punishment. In middle school ( 7th grade i believe ), they fell into massive debt and went bankrupt so we had to move in with my aunt temporarily, these times were some of the most miserable times in my life. Their " house " was in the middle of nowhere, and was more like a large shack/ shed, Only 1 bathroom, 1 kitchen / living room combo, and a bedroom w/ a walk in closet. Their house was absolutely disgusting, mold on every ceiling and walls, the place was rampant with spider, ants, flies, cockroaches and centipedes. Yet even though there were few neighbors, they were all druggies, and gunshots and violent screaming were not uncommon to hear a few times a week. My Aunt was an alcoholic and would abuse prescription drugs to get a high or something, they also used to hoard some items and stash them in the kitchen, they would never clean their dishes (that was my job there) and they would keeps garbage bags on the floor in piles until all of them were full, this led to the place smelling gross, and literally like garbage. The bathroom had the same problems, only their was no hot water, and only the tub worked not the shower, and their hair would be everywhere (they had this condition were they pulled out their hair strands, so I would find them in food, on the floor, sink, towels, clothes etc.) Their soap was dirty, like if the bar soap had been dropped on the dust collected floor so many times but they don't wash it, they would be pieces of hair, dirt, and lint stuck on the soap, so it was useless to even try to wash your hands. My place to sleep was in the walk in closet, filled with weird, hoarded items also, I got a sore neck, back, arm, something every night do to me sleeping on the cracked tiles with only a unclean, unwashed thin bed sheet for a blanket, while my caretaker got a couch for a bed above the ground, I've always been treated like a burden, even now I still am so that hasn't changed.
I remember my Aunt and caretaker constantly fighting, and then they would each take it out on me, my Aunt was and is even worse and more abusing then my caretaker, even my caretaker would have to stop her from go too far on me, but that does not accuse my caretakers behavior in any case. I was absolutely miserable the whole time, my Aunt never had kids so I had no cousins, she was defiantly crazy though as in she would sleep naked on a chewed and clawed up old mattress with her dogs and cats (the shedding even made the place worse, it felt toxic to even breathe because I could feel lint, and fur and dirty particles being inhaled, and could feel the mold being inhaled in my lungs and throat when i slept too, I had to start breathing from my mouth cause my nose would so clogged from blood, and mucus, and hair would always be in my mouth).
Eventually it got even enough for my caretaker, so we moved back to my original state, but in a much different area, this happened my starting freshman year in high school. We moved into a very small condo, pretty much the same size as my aunts, but in a much better neighborhood. My caretaker put me in online school from freshman to junior year. I was forbidden to leave the house at any time, and they started a work form home job. This conflicted with my online school needs as we only have one computer (using it now to type) and I ended up failing my junior year, because I was only aloud to use the computer an hour per day ( normal work would need about 4 hours a day). They would lie and say I was lazy and a trouble maker, I was suppose to redo it, bu then out of frustration, I was forcefully dropped out out school. The events leading up to that included me being manipulated in ,multiple ways, lied to, betrayed, harmed, nearly starved, etc. by them, and yet I am entirely dependent on them, which is what I wish not to be. I am yelled at on a day to day basis about not getting a job, yet we have no car, and I am not aloud to leave the house at any time, so I have to deal with their irrational mentally unstable harmful mind. I speak no words to them, yet I am always yelled and screamed at every day, and pushed hit, punched, and I do nothing back. The food I've eaten since we moved here was dollar food / candy, i am am sure I am malnourished, while they go and get fast food, they never let me eat it. We have no microwave, and the refrigerator is unplugged to " save money ", so any food here gets spoiled quickly, and I haven't eaten a hot meal since I was at my Aunts house, ( were it was unappetizing anyway due to the gross hygiene of them). They got me a bank account and credit / debit card, only to use it for they're own purpose so they don't have to pay debt, any left over money they do have they waste it on drinks, or on the casino. And then this whole cycle just goes on and and on, like groundhog day or the twilight zone, and if I even try to reason with them, I am inherently wrong and then punished, abuse, called worthless, and then they guilt trip me by threaten me, holding my emotion hostage by saying if I don't do what they'll say, they will commit suicide then I will never even have a roof over my head. I could maybe understand if they went through some sort of trauma, but from what I've seen and heard, and witnessing they're sister, I believe they are genuinely crazy, and probably mentally ill. This whole cycle that's has gone on for for seemingly eternity as took a toll on my health, mentally and physically, I wish I could get help somehow. Even just little things upset still, like how I never got to celebrate ant of my birthday with anyone, or even be acknowledged, or holidays, Easter etc, they were are treated like a normal day, yelling chaos, broken tables and chairs, you get the point.
I have no one to go too, and no one to tell, except you who are reading. I am of legal adult age now, and I have a plan to get out of here. You see, a couple weeks ago my caretaker lost my credit/debit card, I was blamed for stealing and hiding it (and of course assaulted), but I really didn't have it, however I handle all the online and physical mail that we get (and the bills ), since they reordered a credit card, I have been patiently waiting for it, in the mean time I have been doing my own personal research whenever I got the chance, browsing reddit subreddits on legal advice, searching for local help and laws, watching YouTube tutorials on how to handle money, and looking at goggle maps to visual map out the town I'm in and see where the local or nearest hotel/motel is, where trains are, all of this. I have eventually came up with a foolproof and entirely legal plan, as well as being efficient, and since I happen to have retrieved the card on Tuesday, and activated it online, I have been compiling text documents and secret journal entries hidden within folders on the computer. I could make an entire book of the pages and paragraphs I wrote and reflecting on over the years, such as this one, but because I am on a time limit, and need to make this a detailed summary, I have skipped of MANY very important parts of what has happened to me, so many weird, bad, and unlucky things that I had to skip for the sake of getting a message across to you guys. I have no other income and I hate to beg, but I need to take the chance I have to say it, I created a GoFundMe , and I NEED your help, I literally can not get money another way, theirs no way. I just need enough to get a motel room for at least one night ( I have never slept in a full bed before or even in a room of my own, or even with a TV! I also need to shower badly), and get new clothes (only have a few shirts and two pairs of pants, all have moth holes in them and are ragged and dirty), I also need food, specifically cans that I can warm, and finally I need to get a hair cut (my hair is just as ragged and unkempt and long, extremely long and dirty). Just enough to get this done in one - two days, then I will go to the authorities. I plan to get GED, go to community college and get a degree in law, and just be a functioning member in society and contribute and help, maybe even start a family later on if I get situated and live a more comfortable lifestyle, that way my kids will not have to suffer and I can give them enjoyment, since my childhood had none. I know it sounds like I'm begging and this whole thing may sound sketchy, but please at least share this story I need to get out of here , and have no hope, besides those who donate.
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Explanation: Okay, so as you may tell I was in a hurry and also a little excited to type the summary, I really hope I can get out here, looking back though I can see some things I need to touch on:
Your not face book verified? - yes I know, all the popular social media websites and outlets our password blocked on the browser, so I can not access them, and from my knowledge you need a photo for Facebook which brings me to:
Wheres' your proof, send a photograph! - I never owned a phone (never allowed and too expensive I was always and still am told), and I don't have a video camera, and I have a camera, just one of the disposable ones, maybe If i have any extra money I could go to a store and get them digitalized ( I believe Fed-ex does this, maybe they can attach it to my post as proof that I used the money for good causes later, if given the chance). Also the desktop we have has no webcam. :(
Why no just call the authorities - well my caretaker knows how to manipulate people into thinking their mentally stable, and make me seems I'm the bad guy, also they keep their flip phone in their pockets the whole time so I can not get it. They don't even use it, I've never even heard one call.
I know this sounds weird and inconstant, but theirs just so many things that went one, so many narcissistic things me caretaker has done, and just very strange instances such as them trying to seduce me a dew times (believe me you don't understand how bad this had affected me). I need to get out, I i would, only problem is if I escape out at when there sleeping or at the casino or when there at the dollar store, I would pretty much end up homeless, and they would not let me back in, .I'm basically a slave of the system that they have personally set up and twisted to keep me trapped with them, and since they work from home I'm always been watched and monitored, please I may seem crazy and shady but it's the unfortunate truth for me, I would lie if I said i would not be jealous of the average family, going on vacations, or even just spending time together, or have warm meals, a lot of stuff that may seem the norm to you ( I'm assuming you probably leave similar to the average family household, sorry if I'm wrong, all my info comes from you tube and reddit pretty much.)
Like I said, my other parent is gone, I have no contact with their side of the family and never knew them, if they even have any, and my only other family member, my aunt, is even worse then my own caretaker. Please help me, I don't want to die here, although I may actually deserve it for all I know, why would I be placed in such a prison like environment, it seems like there is no escape. I hope I did not make you feel bad, I just need hope theirs so much I would like to do, even getting a job seems fun to me, I'll actually be able to interact with people for once. I was once afraid of doing this, since all of these experiences made me develop severe Anxiety of pretty much every type, and OCD ( especially my OCD, anyone with this knows how worse it can make things), and depression, but I realized that things are only going to get worse with time, and as my caretaker gets older, the more violent, chaotic, and irrationally and crazy they become. Please I just want to live my life and start over, get my act together, and leave them once and for all, I have the plan, and the plans thought of after that, there is only one thing holding me back, money. I wish I could be aloud to work and slowly save up but again that's not the case, I hope at least you can share my story, I only have about a week and a half to raise this money before my caretaker gets to suspicious about the card and I will not get a chance like this ever again, this is literally a one of a lifetime chance I have etc do this, I am very desperate. I hope I don't sound needy, I'm just trying to be assertive as this is my only time to do this, it;s taken about a week to make this whole post, because I can only use the computer when there gone, or late at night. It's very late where I am and so I will need to post this, clear some of the history, and just wait it out, I still have some faith. But if there's' some sort of message I can give about this, is that you may not realize it, but most people, the majority are lucky to have someone to love and care for you, to go to or call when needed, whether they may be friends, family, or even pets, and to be self-sustaining even eating a regular meal multiple times a day, now i know I'm not the only poor person in the world but I just feel so unlucky being here, and I do feel injustice and feel like my entire life is a joke and completely unfair. Out of all the chances for life in this world I had be be born in this disturbing scenario, I just had to strike out in life from the moment I was born. But maybe I'm overlooking this, there's probably worse situations, there defiantly is, I guess I'll just wait and see what happens, it's all I've ever done, and if this cycle does not end, it's all I will ever do, until one day I just can't take it and am pushed over the edge...I hope that day does not come, I hope to be strong throughout this whole time I am alive. I will bring justice to this terrible situation, I just need a break for one day, I've never really relaxed before, I just want to get cleaned up, not spend another night here, eat a good meal, and then when I'm ready tell this to the authorities, hopefully they can do something.
Note* : I have the full text I was originally going to post saved, it's full of spelling errors and is EXTREMELY long, so I decided to not post it, but if you're still skeptical or anything and if this does get attention I would be more than happy to screenshot and post them, however I don't think I will have enough time to fix the spelling errors. There so much I just want to vent out, I barely even touched on all the the things I have been through, and one day I will, but to wrap this up and not make it took long, I will end this here, I made a post last week so if your still interested my life story then check my post history, it should be the first post I've ever made. Thank you for reading, please share for me.
If you find me worthy of deserving a better life then I hope you could donate , please this is literally my last chance to freedom .
Sincerely,
~ Q .r
Submitted November 17, 2017 at 05:58AM by LastChanceToFreedom http://ift.tt/2yPwKSZ SuicideWatch
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