My two siblings and I have all had similar upbringings and opportunities. My parents had an agreement that if we paid for the first year of college they would pay for three. My sister [40F] and I took advantage of this opportunity, while my brother was too busy smoking pot and getting drunk to bother. During which time he had a DUI and spent some time in jail.
We both moved out in our early twenties, and struggled to make it on our own, so our parents helped us financially to get stable. My brother moved out, decided it was too hard and moved into my grandmother's basement (amidst much complaining) and lived there until she died.
We both developed skills to provide for ourselves and have had steady jobs to start families. My brother is constantly switching jobs due to relationship issues with co-workers or management. I think you're kind of getting the picture.
After my grandmother died, my brother was forced to find a new living situation, and for a couple years living with a roommate, he did really well. He didn't have heath insurance, so my parents helped him with his diabetes medication. However, he had a steady job with a family friend and things were going well.
However, his roommate got married and forced my brother to move out. This made him start to regress, and he moved back in with my parents for the last few years. His quit his steady job, and now has been switching jobs every few months again. He lives in my parent's detached workshop in the backyard with no toilet, shower, refrigerator, or laundry machines. I believe he pays rent, butI have no doubt my parent's financial assistance exceeds whatever rent he's paying.
The part that really bothers me is that my dad is unable to do his favorite hobby, woodworking, because my brother has completely taken over his shop that he recently spent thousands on renovating for his retirement. Additionally, last night, I took my parents out for mother's day, and my mom informed me that she can't sew anymore because his crap is all stored in her sewing room. My parents are getting old and it infuriates me that they can't enjoy their hard worked for retirement to the fullest because my brother can't figure out how to take care of himself.
Both of my parents complain to me about it whenever the issue comes up. I've talked to my dad about it, and he says my mom refuses to kick him out (my dad is all for it), worrying my brother will die on the street. My dad also told me that when he dies, that I need to look after my mom because he's concerned about future emotional (my brother has quite the temper), physical, and financial abuse. I'm concerned about it now, and I'm wondering if I should call Adult Protective Services.
TL;DR My older brother refuses to move out and it's affecting my retired parent's wellbeing. My mother refuses to kick him out, worrying that he'll die on the street. I'm wondering how to resolve the issue.
Submitted May 07, 2017 at 03:54PM by Throwaway45837536 http://ift.tt/2qd9H3U relationships
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