Whoever the fuck says that you don't need cheese in your scrambled eggs... copypasta

Whoever the fuck says that you don't need cheese in your scrambled eggs is a dumb fucking uneducated inbred street shitting swine. I don't care if Gordiono Ramram doesn't say anything about cheese in your scrambled eggs, you need it, otherwise, you can't obtain perfect eggy orgasms when you shove that piping hot pile of wet yellow golden fluffy goodness into your mouth. You know- fuck butter. Fuck that shit. You don't even need the unholy artery clogging ass loads of butter like so many fake bitches say you do. Just a little is fine, just enough to coat the fucking pan. Those pseudo chefs who say you need a lot- liars. All liars. They don't know shit. They're about as educated as a rat. Actually they're probably fucking dumber than a rat. You shouldn't trust them with anything. I'm surprised some people even choose to live near people knowing that they don't put cheese in their eggs. That's like living near a suspected serial killer. Do you not value your own life? Just fuck butter. What you should be thinking about is the cheese. Saying you're gonna make scrambled eggs without cheese is like saying you're gonna taking a shit without toilet paper- you don't fucking walk around with shit smeared between your uncleaned ass cheeks and you don't god damn dare let those eggies into your esophagus without melting god the father son and holy spirit infallible slices of fucking cheese into them in the pan. But you know, so many people omit cheese anyways. It's a fucking sin. Nobody gives a shit about the sanctity of life anymore. No wonder we have Kimberly Jing Jang wanting to nuke the United States and refugees assaulting the residents of European countries and $19 trillion in debt and countries whose currency is worth less than MMO currencies and all this other shit- how can you expect human decency from anyone anywhere in the world when there are people in the world who still don't put cheese in their scrambled eggs? The answer is you can't. We are FUCKED. And it's because of STUPID FUCKS who don't put cheese in their scrambled eggs. Is it SO FUCKING DIFFICULT to respect the sanctity of life and make an effort to preserve human decency? I guess so, because I just saw you take that carton of eggs from your refrigerator without taking that package of sliced cheese too. You're just going to leave it in there, preventing it from fulfilling its destiny. Don't you know how badly it longs to be taken from the package, torn to little shreds, and scattered about in the Yellow Sea of egg whites and yolks in that pan or pot, and then melted and mixed and becoming as one with the eggs? There is no higher purpose for a slice of cheese than that. No fancy fondue or French clusterfuck can do it better service. Yet, you still refuse. GOD DAMN IT. FUCK YOU. I can't believe this. It's 2017 and there are still people like this. FUCK THEM. They deserve to burn in hellfire and brimstone. They're damning the whole human race just because they're too uncultured to put that godsend coagulated milk protein into their eggs. People are FUCKING DUMB and they ruin everything. Kimberly Jing Jang just fucking nuke everyone already. We don't deserve to exist when part of our species is so primitive and intellectually disabled. We should all just die. We don't deserve to breathe another breath of air. Just please, right now, cook up some scrambled eggs and put some cheese in them. You will become enlightened almost beyond your own feeble human comprehension. You will see the truth- your wrongs, your mistakes, your reflections and retrospects on life- you will gain lifetimes and lifetimes worth of insight, experience, and wisdom, things that not even the most ambitious scientists or philosophers could attain. You can transcend your shitty, sinful existence just by putting cheese in your eggs. There is no need to cure disease or end wars or invent new technologies- all of those will come, in shining, beautiful waves of discovery- just by putting cheese in your eggs. Do it bitch. Your stubbornness is holding back the entirety of humanity.

Submitted November 03, 2017 at 04:08AM by GuffMcGufferson http://ift.tt/2z7wzDf copypasta