I moved to a big city after graduation in May 2016, and moved into a studio apartment in a nice suburb. It was a nice commute to work (~45 minutes door to door), a top-floor apartment, had a nice view, silent neighbors, nice appliances. It was a little pricey, but overall, an excellent place to live.
My friend Marissa moved to the same city shortly after I did. We weren't close in college, although we did live together in a group apartment when we studied abroad, and I was excited to hear she was going to be in the same city with me. She signed a lease at a different neighborhood in the city that she loves, but hated her roommate. As our friendship grew over the next year, we decided when our leases ended, we'd move in together.
We had a tough time agreeing on a place. All of the neighborhoods I liked, she found a reason to shoot down, regardless of price, location, or quality. She claimed they were "too far" for her to drive to work; even though with her car, it would only take her 15-25 minutes from any point in our city. I rely on public transit, so living close to work means the difference between a 20 minute commute or an hour.
Instead, she insisted that we not leave her neighborhood, but find an apartment there that would suit us both. I relented, even though it was about a 55 minute commute from my office. When we found a place, I got the larger bedroom in exchange for the commute sacrifice - though I also pay more in rent.
The place on paper was awesome. Beautiful, light and airy; a decent amount of space; we toured and it was an absolute steal. Minutes walking distance from the city center, fireplaces, hardwood. I commented on how nice it is. "I know," Marissa agreed. "I can't wait to live here with Boyfriend." I looked at her, confused. "What?"
She replied, "Oh, you know, when you move out, my Boyfriend will probably move in. We'll live in the master BR and use the second one as our office." I thought it was an odd thing to say to your "best friend" who you want to make memories with, and an odd thing to say considering I had no plans to move out, but wrote it off. We signed the lease, and she moved in about a month before I did due to our differences in old leases.
I moved in two weeks ago and I absolutely hate it. The "old charm" from the building is now translating into straight inconvenience. The beautiful hardwood floors are uneven, so none of my furniture lays straight, and so old that no amount of dusting will make them look clean. The pipes leak. The walls are so thin I can hear what Game of Thrones episode my upstairs neighbors watch, and every step they take, drawer they open, or word they utter. Fruit flies always seem to be in our kitchen (though we're both very clean). After living in my modern studio by myself for a year, this place feels like a huge mistake.
But the bigger problem is Marissa. Since she moved in first, she totally took over the apartment. She left me only the most inconvenient kitchen cabinets (the highest ones that you need a step stool for, or above the fridge, so no one can reasonably get to them) citing a "height difference" as the reason she should take the easier to reach ones (she is 5'4". I am 5'5".) All of the shared cabinets are filled 75% full with her plates and dishes; she explained "since I already have sets of silverware and plates, we can just get rid of yours." Why should I get rid of my plates?? Why can't we have an equal amount?? Even the fridge is covered with her magnets, cards, and memorabilia, leaving no space for anything of mine.
Two days after I moved in, she left to visit her hometown for a week. I didn't bug her while she was gone about any of the issues - I figured I would discuss it when she was back.
Two days before she returned, I went to visit my hometown too. While I was gone and she had returned, she texted me incessantly about issues with the house, including a bathtub clogged with hair (I had only been in the house for 5 days; the hair was entirely hers) and a dirty tub (again, it was filthy when I got there.) Marissa wanted to know, Did I realize that I had left moving boxes in the hallway? Despite the fact that she had left a spare mattress in the living room for the month she lived there.
While I was gone, she informed me that her boyfriend and his siblings were all going to stay at the apartment tonight, and asked if two of them could sleep in my bed. I told her I wasn't comfortable with that, but honestly, since I was gone - I have no way of even knowing if my wishes were respected or not.
I am so unhappy in this living situation. Marissa treats the place as though it is hers, and I'm just living in it. Both our names are on the lease. In fact, I pay a bit more in rent than she does, so if anything, I should be getting more of the shared spaces. But she's appropriated everything, from the way she wants to decorate to the space on the refrigerator.
I hate the thin walls, the uneven floors, the hellish hourlong commute to work (so that she can enjoy a 10 minute drive), my lack of cabinet space. It hasn't even been a month but I want to move out, back to my old studio which at least I could decorate how I wanted.
Our lease ends in May. I want to tough it out til December, so that I can resign at my old building with a cheaper lease (prices drop in winter.) I could find subletter to fill my current space until the lease ends. Is there a way to do this without ruining my friendship?
EDITS: clarity
tl;dr: Moved from a studio to a 2BR with a roommate, and I'm hating the experience. Is there a way to move out without ruining our friendship?
Submitted August 15, 2017 at 10:55PM by Hindsight202020 http://ift.tt/2vFZPzk relationships
No comments:
Post a Comment