A holiday fatmas story for you all, brief, but enlightening and full of good cheer.
be me
at Tar-jhay for the Xmas crap we need, pre Xmas. get into line with what I can only describe as a big man. big, like, in all directions, well over 6'(182cm), broad enough to block the entire checkout aisle at a Target, no light can escape. closer observation shows he is damn near as big front to back as he is broad, he is the approximate dimensions of a refrigerator from the waist up and approximately the back end of a hippopotamus from the waist down.
This is a fat fucking guy.
He's not overtly hammy, no bad smells, more or less groomed, not angry, not wheezing or leaning, just xboxhueg to be honest, he looks like an athlete run to major, major fat city in his dotage. big gut, big ass, big calves, big shoulders, big everything. dude is a tank of adipose.
he's with his young boy (10-ish?) who is normal, lanky even, doing that zone out thing kids in stores do, just waiting for the pain to end.
Hippofridgemode is standing, waiting, possibly sinking into the ground and looking around and suddenly, the ham eyes alight! Large man perks right up at the sight of Hot Cheetos on the checkout aisle shelf. Hand to god, he does the Homer Simpson finger wiggle and squeal, and nabs a snack bag of capsaicin beetus with the quickness.
Here's where the magic starts, FPS: he fondled that bag with a Christmas glee, flipped it over and exclaimed to his son, now cat ears alert to the possibility of an inbound junk food treat, "Look! Look! This is exactly what I was telling you about. This little bag is THREE AND A HALF SERVINGS of junk, and they think you're gonna eat the whole thing. Listen, a serving is 20-ish cheetos, so lets buy this, we'll each eat one serving as a treat and save the rest to split with your brother and your mother! Let's count and keep track of what a serving size is every single time, so you don't end up like me."
Hesgoingtomakeit.jpg
The kid was impressed, he seemed to think this was science and they strolled out counting out their single servings and eating them slowly, and ended up completely satisfied and happy with their beetusy treat with plenty to spare in that little snack bag.
How do I know this?
I'm Hippofridge, of course, and I've lost 30 pounds this year with another 50 to go before I'm back in trim, and I will damn sure prevent my kids from inheriting my fatlogic and bad habits by having permanently changed how I view food and eating, and its been fantastic. Thanks for the inspiration, the humour, and the kindness, and a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all. Also Chanuka and Eid and Yule and whatever else, and Hot Cheetos and Takis may you be blessed be, the angels of my fat ass forever and ever amen
Submitted December 29, 2016 at 09:19AM by woosaguidbwahthain http://ift.tt/2i9Qrz5 fatpeoplestories
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