We're in a tropical destination with the whole family, my parents and siblings, my wife's parents and siblings, and our child for Christmas and New Years. Pretty big family trip, sounds amazing, we planned this trip last Christmas Day, and we're all in the same property (my parents and family are on an entirely different section of the resort, whatever). Sounds like a great time, right? Destination vacation for the holidays!
My kid got sick 3 weeks ago with the sniffles before we left, and it turned into a nasty cough and she's not sleeping well, which means my wife and I are not sleeping well. We don't trust our family well enough to watch her for one night so we're stuck with a wet-cough toddler, which hearing any toddler have a wet cough pisses me off. The last 4 days we've slept for 3 good hours and whatever else we can get in the car while going to other hot-spots. This sucks, but we have coffee to help with our exhaustion.
Our unit is a complete piece of shit. Pieces of the drywall are missing, holes in the door that looked to have been patched over by toothpaste or some really shitty putty. The color doesn't even match on the walls where they tried to paint over it. We weren't given skillets to cook with, scissors, or basic cleaning supplies. The hand rail is disgusting with the amount of dirt, hand grease and oils that accumulated on it. To top it off, there's an ant infestation and they have the ant-trap hut things next to our beds, inside the silverware drawer, next to the bowls... gross. We called the after-hours "emergency line" and got hung up on saying we were overreacting. Mother fucker, this trip will cost us over $10 grand total and we get stuck with ants, holes in the doors, AC vent right next to my head when I lay down on the bed, lizard shit on the top of the refrigerator, crumbs and splatter left over in the microwave from previous tenants, a vacuum that is so shitty, a $10 vacuum from Walmart would be an improvement, the dustpan is cracked and missing pieces from it so it's basically non-functional, the clothing iron leaks (which at this point didn't surprise me at fucking all), someone's dirty ass water canteen, things that are so fucking dusty that it looks fuzzy and I'm sometimes afraid to breathe in certain areas because it's so fucking janky. That's where we're sleeping with a toddler that has a cold. Fan-fucking-tastic. And when I called and asked to be moved to a different unit? They're all booked and won't refund us anything for our troubles, not even $10 off per night I'll take, but no, fucking nothing. When we ask what we can do, they say to get bug spray and take care of it ourselves. Go fucking figure. Let's do a bug bomb with a toddler, why not.
Next: my father in law is a baby in a 6'6 body with gray hair. He turns the TV on and sits on the couch, and that's fucking it. Because we flew out here to have you watch Spike TV and watch movies he's seen already in the middle of the afternoon when the beach is literally 1/2 mile down the road. Great use of time and money. He has never lifted a finger to help clean this shit hole condo. Hasn't helped one fucking bit with the ants or dust or anything. He has no idea how frustrating it is to CONSTANTLY tell him to stop encouraging my daughters temper tantrums and to stop interacting with her when she's about to fall asleep, and to stop handing her an iPhone to watch cartoons on at dinner when she's clearly enjoying her meal. If you have kids, if they eat their meal when you go out to a restaurant you're happier than a pig in shit. Back to it, he changes his voice to that disgustingly high pitched baby talk bullshit is fucking ridiculous. And mother fucker STOP TOUCHING HER THIGHS WHICH ENDS UP TICKLING HER WHEN SHES SLEEPING. JUST. FUCKING. STOP. He has seriously woken her up from being out/almost being out by disturbing her, or saying something in his dumb baby voice "take a nap my precious little girl and when you wake up we'll watch frozen and the peanuts movie with snoopy the puppy would you like that?" Then my kid starts right up by singing Let It Go or shouting Snoopy Puppy and won't fall asleep again and she becomes everyone's fucking problem now. (Again, if you have children, you know what I'm talking about...)
Then my family pulled a dick move on this trip. Started out having dinners together and one big huge happy family gathering. After 4 days they drop a bomb on us and say "hey we're checking out and going to another area to stay at and explore that's over 200 miles away. We got a great deal on a condo over there and it was the last one. See ya!" ...great thanks for being a team player. Assholes.
Next with my brother- and sister-in laws, they both got girlfriends and boyfriends before leaving when we planned this trip for pretty much an entire year. They've been on their phones practically the entire time and I can't fucking enjoy their company because they're texting every minute. Granted I am on my phone for work and I play some games on it, but this is next level type shit.
Remember how I said my kid is coughing and snotty nosed? Remember how the AC unit is right next to my side of the bed? Guess who has a cough and what appears to be a sinus infection? Yeah what the fuck else could go wrong now...?
What set me off last night was my father in law being the epitome of a toddler. We ask him "What day do you want to do <this activity>, it's what you want to do on this trip so we can do it tomorrow (really, today) and we will have to leave at 6am or Monday and we can leave at 9am. That's the options." Mother fucker stormed off because we "are bitching about what he wants to do and all he's done this trip is everything everyone tells me to do." Ok so continue that tradition of doing whatever we tell you to do, and tell us what day you want to do this activity so we can prepare, it's 11pm and if we are going tomorrow we need to prepare and wake up at 5am to leave by 6. His reply was "do whatever you want." NO GOD DAMMIT THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT TO FUCKING DO. FUCKING TELL US WHAT YOU WANT TO FUCKING DO. "WHATEVER (WE) WANT TO DO" IS NOT A MOTHER FUCKING OPTION.
FUCK.
4 more days of this shit.
Submitted December 31, 2016 at 01:54AM by 4darunner http://ift.tt/2igqJsZ rant
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