I know that birthdays are important in your family and I wanted to do something to make you feel special and loved. I told you that I would make a chocolate and peanut butter cake for your special day. I wanted to make devil's food cake with peanut butter frosting and cover it in dark chocolate ganache.
Last week I bought ingredients for the cake because I was worried that there wouldn’t be enough staple ingredients in your cupboards. On Monday I ordered two 6” cake pans and had them shipped quickly to your house. I saw some cake pans in your kitchen but I wanted two pans that would match other. I decided to make a small cake because you don’t like sweets very much and I didn’t want leftover cake to sit in your refrigerator for a week. On Wednesday I mixed the cake batter and carefully divided it between the two pans. I made sure to grease the pans lightly and cut parchment paper circles to put in the bottom of the pans. I even added a couple extra-wide strips of parchment to each pan so that I could carefully lift out the baked cakes.
Your mother’s boyfriend is allergic to nuts and she asked me if I could make a small cake for him to eat that would not have any peanut butter frosting on it. I greased your worn muffin tin and poured batter into four wells. I didn’t have any paper liners but now as I write this I think that I should have used parchment paper. I slid the muffin tin into the oven and prayed that out of the four cupcakes at least one would come out of the pan intact.
You were trying to set up the new computer monitor that I bought you for your birthday. I could tell that you were getting frustrated but I tried to help you every now and then. I reminded you that the monitor came with an instruction manual. You were so excited to open it that you hadn’t noticed that it was the first thing that you removed from the box. You became more and more distraught as you realized that the cables from your old monitor would not fit into the new one and that an HDMI cable wasn’t included in the box. I’m really sorry about that. I thought that a cable would be included but I should have bought one for you just in case. You were really upset when you couldn’t get a picture to show on the screen even though you had plugged everything in. I could feel the tension in the air as I returned from the kitchen to help you figure out what was wrong. I took my time checking if everything was plugged in correctly and I pressed every single button along the bottom of the screen. Your desktop appeared on the screen and you admitted that you had not even seen those buttons.
I wanted to make you feel better. I could see that your jaw had been clenched and I could see some veins along the side of your forehead. I didn’t feel like saying anything at all but I know that you don’t like when I am silent. I decided to say, “Relax! Everything is okay!” in my highest-pitched, sing-songy voice to let you know that I meant well. Of course – as I had feared – this did not go well for you. I watched you break down and collapse into your desk chair. I hugged you and apologized for something that I did not feel the need to be sorry for. I stroked your hair and kissed you before I left you alone.
I took the cakes out of the oven. The two little cake layers were fine but each cupcake had broken by the time I got them out of the muffin tin. At least one cupcake was mostly whole. I left the cakes on the kitchen table to cool.
On Thursday I returned home from work to make the icing and ganache for you cake. Your brother had returned from his trip and complimented me on how the cake tasted. I was concerned and I quickly went to the kitchen. Three cupcakes were missing but the nicest one remained. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw that the cake layers were untouched. Your brother walked over to the table and reached down and broke into the remaining cupcake and ate it as he complimented the taste of the cake again. I cursed myself for not leaving a note asking people to not eat the cake. But the layers were still okay. As I changed into pajamas I tried to think of how I would make one tiny cupcake for your mother’s boyfriend even though we no longer had any cocoa powder in the house.
I returned to the kitchen to start the peanut butter frosting when I saw that 1/3 of one of the cake layers had been TORN OFF and was missing. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? No. How could this happen? Did your brother forget that your birthday is on Friday? Why didn’t it occur to him to ask before eating any of the cake at all? I had to beg my mother to let me stay with you an extra day this week just so that I could put together parts of your cake after I got off work! I wanted to cry but the tears would not come.
I cut an awkward circle out of the broken cake layer. I placed a blob of peanut butter onto the base layer and gently pressed the small piece on top of it. The peanut butter frosting was difficult to spread onto the cake because of the cake’s awkward size and shape. I poured the ganache over the cake to coat the frosting. My cake looked like a round, lumpy alien spaceship. I had done what I could. There was no time to make another cake. I took the remaining chunks of the layer cake and shoved them into a ramekin. I poured ganache over it.
On Friday (your twenty-fifth birthday) after I got off work I met up with you at Espetus to take you out for dinner. During our meal you told me that you had blown out the candles on your cake with your mother and your brother a few hours ago. But you assured me that it’s okay, we could light the candles on the cake again when I was home with you and you could blow out the candles and make a second wish. I don’t think it works that way but I wasn’t going to tell you that. My heart sank. But why? You celebrated your birthday with your mother and brother by making a wish and blowing out the candles on the ugly little UFO cake that I spent two days making for you. You told me that your mother had teased your brother for tearing off part of the cake. They would not be home when you and I returned from out dinner. You did not ask for a cake. You don’t even like cake that much. I remember two years ago I baked you a pie for your birthday because you said that you like pie.
When we got home you pulled the cake out of the refrigerator and lit the candles before I could say, “No, it’s alright. You don’t have to do that.” But the candles were lit. I sang. You made your second wish and blew them out. I watched smoke rise from the two number “2” candles and three stick candles jammed into the chocolate-covered hill of a cake; an attempt to represent your twenty-five years of life.
If I had been standing in that kitchen just a few hours earlier I would have asked if we could at least add one extra candle to your cake. In my family our tradition is to add one extra candle in the hopes that the person whom we are celebrating will have one extra year of life.
I love you so much. I’m trying really hard to be a good girlfriend.
TL;DR
- Spent two days making a cake for my boyfriend’s 25th birthday
- Upset my boyfriend after I tried to help set up the new monitor I bought for him
- My boyfriend’s brother ripped off and ate part of the cake before I could frost it
- RAGE
- As a result the cake looked ugly
- My boyfriend’s mother and brother celebrated with him and he blew out the candles on his cake without me being there
- I felt shitty
Submitted July 20, 2015 at 08:05AM by mikana http://ift.tt/1LxjfZP offmychest
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