Gary Smalley came up with four animals as a delightful way of classifying personality types. These are:
The lion is the leader type, who likes to make decisions and take risks, but may be bossy or inflexible at times.
The otter is the enthusiastic and fun-loving type who is always ready to play, but may sometimes be impatient or flippant.
The golden retriever is the sensitive type who tries to rescue people and avoids confrontation, even when it may be necessary.
The beaver is the perfectionist who must do it all, never breaks a rule, and is likely to insist that you do it all too and never break a rule either.
Myers & Briggs may put you to sleep and you might not be able to remember what the letters mean, but classifying your friends and family members in terms of these four animals will have you rolling on the floor laughing. With that in mind, I've always wanted to expand the list. I hope you enjoy these too, because I know you have them in your family. We all do!
The fox is sly and cunning, always looking for the next tasty meal that can be obtained without paying for it. Foxes are smart and fun to watch, as long as they're after someone else's chickens.
The skunk always has something to say that shouldn't be said and can clear out a room in seconds. No amount of deodorizer can undo what comes out of them. You simply can't trust them not to let it out and at the worst possible time.
The badger isn't so bad to have around, but don't you dare back them into a corner, because, if you do, they will rip you to shreds and retreat into their hole.
The snake is always looking for someone to strike and it's probably going to be you sooner or later. They also have an endless supply of venom and know just where to inject it in order to inflict the most damage.
The coyote is always scheming, but never working and never succeeding. The coyote will expend far more effort trying to get something for nothing than it would have taken to earn it legitimately in the first place. The coyote always needs money and has a "sure thing" for you to invest in.
The roadrunner leaves everyone in the dust and can't be caught. They can also get away with anything. The roadrunner can sell freezers to Eskimos and sand to Bedouins. On the rare occasion that a roadrunner is pulled over, they're sure to get a warning, rather than a citation.
The pig can make a mess anywhere out of anything and has never once cleaned up after the party. They can also inhale an entire refrigerator full of food faster than you can say, "oink!"
The turtle hardly ever comes out of its shell and snaps back in at the first sign of danger or anything else. They interpret everything as a personal attack.
The magpie simply won't shut up. They aren't just a part of every conversation. They ARE every conversation.
You're never quite sure what a squirrel is going to do or say, but you just know they're up to something and if you can't find it, they probably have it tucked away someplace safe.
The pit bull can and will start an argument with anyone at any time. They can and will bite and they don't let go when they do.
Sheep are just stupid. They can get stuck in the corner of a circular room. Sheep respond to Emails from the Prime Minister of Nigeria, who desperately needs their bank account information in order to save that nation's economy in exchange for a 5% cut.
The warthog is a combination of the pig and pit bull with some skunk thrown in for good measure.
Whatever story you might have to tell, the jay can top it. I don't care what it is, the jay has already done something better. If you won a gold medal in swimming, the jay swam across the Atlantic. If you've actually walked on the moon, the jay WAS the moon in a previous life. I don't care who you know, the jay knows three people who are far more important. If you're related to George Washington, the jay is related to Jesus. If you were a princess in a previous life, the jay was Nefertiti. (I actually heard this last one!)
And what's more, the fox, the skunk, the badger, the snake, the coyote, the roadrunner, the pig, the turtle, the magpie, the squirrel, the pit bull, the sheep, the warthog, and the jay are all coming for Thanksgiving!
Submitted July 31, 2015 at 02:49AM by JoannaPogwash http://ift.tt/1LTEcym ShortStoriesCritique
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