This is a "sequel" to my previous FU.
If you never read my previous FU let me catch you up on some shit I have done.
I was charged an extra $25 because the cashier thought I was buying 5 reusable bags, that I already bought. Since after construction and college I am in debt I flip out and *smash** my GF's $1,250 microwave and cause a mess in the kitchen and at the end of the day feel like shit.
I decided to come back to the store, so I could fix the error. First I was bounced around a couple cashiers which made me very mad, but finally I was brought to the manager, he tells me to sit down and we start talking. Since there wasn't any proof of me not buying the reusable bag I could not get my money back, so I calmly ask to see the security camera footage but the manager says he has no access. (He has no access?! He is a fucking manager WTF?) So I yell "MOTHERFUCKER DO YOUR JOB!" and he says that he will call the cops if I talk to him with such manners, so I storm out of the office, which was right near the "Joe's Kitchen" which is where guests van taste food, I see that their serving slices of cake, so I steal one from what looked like a 7 year old girl, and smear it in her fucking face. Suddenly all the people look at me and I yell "WHO WANTS MORE FUCKING CAKE YOU SHIT-FACES!?" I don't know why I did it but I pushed the fucking lady who served the cake, she started screaming, and I was throwing food and forks at people while everyone is screaming and swearing. I also start screaming and cursing while breaking everything around me. Suddenly a security guard appears and I book it out of there, running and not looking back I knock things off shelves and ran into the fruit stand spilling bananas everywhere, then in the state I was at, I decided it would be a good idea to throw oil to slow the guard down, I get olive oil on another shelf knocking over everything else, throw it and then watch in horror as a men in his 80s on crutches slips and falls right on his back, I swear I heard a crack and when I was running out of the store heard people yelling to call the ambulance. But soon when I ran out I realized that I am so banned from the store, so crying I ran home.
My GF was waiting there, she said sorry for also overreacting and asked why I looked so tensed up and worried. But I was so scared that her question ticked me off and I yelled "BITCH MAKE YOUR MOUTH USEFUL AND SUCK MY DICK, LITTLE FUCKER" She got so ticked off by that she nailed me in the balls, my fucking balls. I fell to the ground in pain and moaned, she cursed at me. Finally after 5 minutes of agony, I stood up, got a hammer and chased her ass through the house, she yelled and screamed for help, well then I tripped and face planted into the tiled floor, blood coming out of my nose... I got so pissed off I yell "FUCK YOU!" and barge in the kitchen and smash the refrigerator door, smash the sink which led to water leaking and then smashed the blender. My GF was so pissed by then she grabbed the hammer, nailed me IN THE FUCKING BALLS AGAIN, and literally kicked me out of the house, and said that she will file a restraining order if I try to get in our, now her, house.
However she did not need to, a cop car came by, and now I am in over $5000 worth of criminal related charges, have to pay for the man's medical bill, for my GFs destroyed kitchen and kitchen appliances, and may have to do community service, this fucking sucks, and it all started when the fucking cashier MADE ME SPEND 25 EXTRA FUCKING DOLLARS!
TL;DR: Went back to the store to fix the error caused by the cashier, insulted the manager, threw a tantrum, destroyed the food display, caused a man in his 80s get injured, destroyed my GFs kitchen, she will not come back ever again, in over $7000 worth of charged, and they will rise.
Submitted July 26, 2015 at 07:23AM by TheLimeDragon http://ift.tt/1epuh6m tifu
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