I Think my Cat is Trying to Kill Me nosleep

I think my cat is trying to kill me

I got a cat from the shelter a couple months ago, and I have become convinced that it is trying to kill me.

I began to suspect the beast was plotting to kill me a few weeks ago when it tried to trip me down the steps. Think I’m crazy? I could swear that I saw the cat smile as I tripped down the last couple of steps crashing into the coat rack nearly impaling myself on the coat hooks. The cat sat and watched me as I untangled myself from the coats lazily licking its paw.

A couple days later the demonic feline was sitting on top of my refrigerator like a ninja and jumped down on my shoulder just as I was dumping noodles into a boiling pot of water, it scared me so much that I hit the handle of the pot and spilled boiling water all over the place, some of it splashing some of it on my jeans giving me a couple of good burns. Once again, the furry specter just lazily licked its paw.

The nightmare cat gave me a short reprieve for a day or so, but then it struck with a vengeance. This time I know that it was a deliberate action. I was sitting on the couch watching tv and from the corner of my eye I saw the cat press up against the tall floor lamp acting like it was massaging itself. It turned its evil eyes to me and with a twinkle of malevolence leaned its weight into the lamp and it toppled towards me the top glass crashing and shattering into my spot on the couch that I just barely moved from in the nick of time. This time it just stood there staring at me like it was pissed off that it didn’t hit me. It turned and scampered out of the room.

At this point I’m thinking to myself I should just get rid of this thing, and take it back to the shelter. In hindsight, maybe I should have then and there. I mean that damn cat was trying to kill me right? You may think that it is all in my head, coincidence, a funny turn of events. I can’t believe it either. Cats can’t try to kill their owners, can they?

Last week the nefarious tomcat almost got me when I was in the shower. Cats HATE water, right? Not this one. It knocked the hairdryer into the shower while I was in it. Lucky for me that it lacked the opposable thumbs to plug it in or maybe it just overplayed its hand, or maybe it thought it was plugged in. Either way it tossed the hairdryer into the shower that’s pretty fucking evil if you ask me. Once again, you may think that this is a joke but it’s not. That damn cat is trying to kill me.

The final straw was two days ago. I was laying in my bed reading the stories on the nosleep forum on my computer when the cat jumped up on my bed and laid down at the foot of the bed. Normally I wouldn’t mind the cat sleeping on my bed, but since the thing is trying to kill me I thought it best that it does not wait for me to fall asleep and smother me in my sleep. I shooed it out of the room by throwing a t shirt at it. If looks could kill I would be already dead and not be able to tell my tale. The look that fucking devil gave me could freeze your blood.

In the middle of the night, I heard some noise coming from the vent above my bed. I was still groggy with sleep when I looked up to see the vent directly above my bed fall out of the ceiling. It fell in slow motion and I had no time to react. The corner of the vent hit me right in the forehead lacerating my head nearly to the skull. I needed 7 stitches in my head and had a slight concussion. The last thing I remember seeing before the vent hit my head were the glowing eyes in the empty vent hole.

I am sitting in my cubical typing this, trying to figure out a way to trap it somehow and get it out of my house. I truly am afraid to go back home because today could be the day it actually succeeds in its scheme. I’m not sure what to do. Maybe I should go to the shelter and get a dog to do battle for me. With my luck, they will team up on me. Maybe 5 gallons of gas and a match will fix this situation…

Submitted December 19, 2017 at 09:28AM by ksjeepfreak http://ift.tt/2Burt5p nosleep