Saturday, December 30, 2017

Heaven is still pretty crowded Jokes

So it got quite crowded in heaven, so it was decided only to only accept people who had had a really bad day on the day that they died.

Three people are standing in line waiting to enter Heaven.

St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."

The man said, "Oh, it was awful. To start things off, I got fired from my job. I was on the way home, and suddenly the car broke down, so I had to finish the journey on foot. Of course it started thunder-storming, and by the time I got back to my apartment, I was drenched, and even more annoyed to find out the elevators were broken. So I had to climb the stairs, all the way to my apartment on the 25th floor. When I got in, I went straight into the bedroom, and there was my wife, lying naked on the bed, clearly having just had sex. So I searched all over the apartment to try and find the bastard my wife was cheating on me with, but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony to get some fresh air and clear my head, and there he was - a guy in his shorts, hanging onto the edge of my balcony just by his fingertips. So I stamped on his fingers to try and get him to fall, and eventually he gave way, and fell down. But would you believe it, he landed in some bushes and appeared to have survived. So in a fit of rage, I went back into the kitchen, dragged out the fridge, and pushed it over the edge. It fell down the 25 stories, and landed on top of him immediately crushing him. I stood there, taking in the recent events, and I was so worked up and stressed by all that had happened that I had a heart attack right there and then and died.

St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.

He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "So there I was, doing my aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment, when I suddenly I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. But luckily, I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment directly below me. I was just pulling myself up, when all of a sudden, some maniac came out and started stamping on my fingers! Well I fell down, but as luck would have it, I landed in some bushes. I thought I had survived the ordeal, when all of a sudden, a fucking fridge lands on my head! I was crushed to death in the most gruesome manner imaginable."

St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.

"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.

"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator..."



Submitted December 31, 2017 at 05:39AM by False1512 http://ift.tt/2CrrE1E Jokes

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