Dealing with the realization that you're a victim of abuse is a hard one to come to terms with. offmychest

Were you abused as a child?

No, I was never abused as a child. I mean, my mom whipped me with an extension cord once because she couldn’t find the belt, but she told me I deserved that for waking her up. And one time she did throw me against the refrigerator and kick me repeatedly, but that was because I put a whole carton of Cokes in the fridge. She only wanted a couple. The whole carton is too big, you see.

And I can’t name all the times I remember being slapped, or having my hair pulled for daring to question her, even if I had questions. One time she backhanded me for ruining her feather pillows by putting them in the washing machine, despite her instructions to me being, “Go get the pillows and put them in the washing machine.” I was around 11 when that happened. I had learned not to ask questions, so I did what she said. That got me in trouble too.

But it wasn’t abuse you see, because when we were alone she would point her finger at me and narrow one eye and she’d speak in a low whisper. She’d remind me how much her behavior wasn’t abuse and that her father had done the same to her and that’s just how you raise kids who are as disobedient and as dumb as I am. So no, I wasn’t abused as a kid. My mom did a good job raising me, as you can see. I very rarely experience crippling bouts of depression and sometimes when I go outside I even manage not to be anxious for a few hours before I feel as though the whole world is going to cave in around me.

But I wasn’t abused as a child at all.

Submitted January 05, 2017 at 07:22AM by Wailord_Loves_Skitty http://ift.tt/2jbLS8N offmychest