This happened on Halloween 2015, after I got off work bouncing at the local college bar, around 3:00 in the morning. Typed this up the next morning to fill my fraternity brothers in on the events of the night.
I had showed up to our buddies house to chill with a friend and this dude knocks on the door at like 3:30 or so. Black guy, probably 22, built like a fucking refrigerator on steroids, easily 230-240. He's got his wallet in his hand, its full of cash, and he's asking me for "just help man. I'm just asking for help. " he kinda rambles on for a while and he eventually gets to asking me for a place to sleep. At this point I say nah and notice the local bar wristband on his wrist. I close the door and lock it and this he proceeds to stand on our porch and ramble about who knows what the fuck for like 30 minutes straight. Saying shit like "how could this happen in the year 1985" "they have their bedrooms for them, and they use them for their betterment but its not for US, they don't even know." By this point I'm thinking schizophrenia or some other shit and I'm hoping he doesn't try to get in cause the brilliant architects of my college town definitely don't elephant-proof front doors.
So by now I obviously know he's no longer in possession of any marbles or marble-like objects whatsoever. Eventually he shuts up and falls asleep in front of the house. Another buddy and his crew come back from Chainsmokers at around 4:00. They all walk past him, assuming we knew him. He doesn't really respond.
About half an hour later, were all smoking blunts in castle and suddenly the dude opens the fucking door and sits his big doofy ass on the stairs and starts nodding out harder than Hunter S Thompson at a goddamn nitrous factory. He's nearly completely unresponsive. After like 10 minutes of questioning two of us get him to agree his name is John. That's pretty much it.
So we decide he needs an ambulance. Our large friend goes to take him by the shoulders and stand him up to leave. He pushes back and we realize were dealing with what essentially amounts to a large angry gorilla, drunk as fuck and high as a kite. Very strong.
We leave him be and eventually the cops come. 2 cars and an ambulance at first. They talk to him for a little and get him to agree to leave. Except he doesn't leave, he just says "yes I agree to walk" and sits there. So eventually the black cop says he's fucking tired and they go to get the guy up. They get as far the top of the front steps and Blindside-monster over here decides to start fighting back. They can't get any further and he's grabbing at the officers and they're yelling "STOP RESISTING" and hitting him on the ribcage and back to get him to let go.
That's when shit gets kicked into 12th gear. He BITES one of the cops. They pepper spray the shit out of him (it burned my eyes and throat across the room inside) and he keeps fighting on. Finally he like basically nods out again saying "okay-k-k-k-k" over and over again. At this point I thought he was about to die on our front porch, that's how fucked up this guys was.
They get the cuffs on him, sit him up on the stairs. They spent the next 20 minutes talking to him, trying to get him to get up. At this point he's getting charged with at least breaking and entering, but he still isn't moving. There are like 7 cop cars from 7 different jurisdictions around here. Barnett and Koon are giving statements and the cops are still going at it. During all of this he says that he took heroin with his friends, and I figure he was blacked out too. Hence the nodding. By about 5:00 they finally somehow manage to get him up and to leave. It's finally over. He's getting charged with burglary. I'm sitting on the couch high as titties just wondering what the fuck is going on.
Submitted January 17, 2017 at 08:07PM by BeefNostrils http://ift.tt/2iDcMSx Drugs
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