My nmom is a hoarder and has an inability to throw out any garbage in the house, including food. There's food in our refrigerator that expired in 1996.
Because of this, a majority of the food she feeds the family is stale or spoiled in some way, because she won't buy fresh food when we have "perfectly good food around." For example: lunch yesterday was a sandwich made with month old deli turkey that was going green, dinner was a salad with lettuce and veggies that were actually slimy from rotting (she put cheese on it to cover the taste of rotting vegetables... it was completely ineffective), and breakfast this morning was a week old stale donut that you could bang against the counter because it was so hard.
She constantly accuses me of being bulimic and anorexic because I eat so little in her house and almost never finish the meals she serves. She used to force feed me her shitty food or refuse to let me leave the table. I eat so little because I can't make it halfway through her meals without feeling like I'm going to throw up from the taste (and probably from all the goddamn mold). I always feel nauseous, and it's just this damn merry-go-round because I'll feel sick going into another meal and won't want to eat much, and then I just feel gross after eating her food again.
I've only gotten food poisoning a couple times my whole life with her, but I'm fairly sure it's not been more because she's been feeding me food like this since I was a toddler, and my body somehow got used to it enough to protect me. One of my earlier memories is when I was six years old and I wouldn't eat the incredibly spoiled beef stew she gave me for dinner, so she force fed it to me until I cried and told her I would eat it.
I lose weight every summer not because I'm even trying to, but just because I couldn't overeat in this house if I wanted to. I gain weight the first month of school every year because I get out of her house and back to the dining halls where there's unlimited, fresh, amazing food, I binge eat because I can't believe I can eat normal food again.
One of my best friends has an nmom and she's very underweight because her food situation growing up was similar, but it just got to the point that she can't eat more than a small amount at one time, even after moving out.
All I can think is that N's know it's an effective way to abuse us because you can really report them to CPS for having gross food because they're feeding us. It's like when they tell you they don't have to give you a bed, because the state says they just have to give you a roof. I can't wait until I move out for real and never have to eat one of her meals ever again.
Submitted July 01, 2017 at 09:26PM by jadelalaere http://ift.tt/2tBfuBP raisedbynarcissists
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