This might be rather long, so please bear with me, I have been dealing with this most of my life.
Ever since I was born my Father has been a severe alcoholic. My mother divorced him when I was 14. She took my brothers and left me. After years of emotional abuse, financial hardships, and long night arguments, she had finally had enough. I now live with my father in a two bedroom house, and my mom is now currently engaged and living out of town.
My Father is an emotionally abusing, lazy, self centered, close minded alcoholic. He's extremely ignorant, "tested" out of high school, and never went to college. He is the most close minded person I know. He has a dead end job at a factory down the road from our house with barely any retirement money saved. He drinks around a 30 case every two days, sometimes I will be up at 2am or 3am and he will be drinking when he has work at 6am.
I go to a local community college, and I work part time. That's all you need to know. My Father constantly laughs at me, tells me "I need to get my shit together" tells me "I'll never be anything or do anything with my life," he tells me Ill never have a wife or kids because I'm a loser, he goes to his other family members, who are also alcoholics, and talks shit about my mother and myself to his family most weekends. He constantly threatens to kick me out of the house. He refuses to let me borrow his car, not even for work. I have no money, due to the expenses of college. Today has been the third week where there has literally been nothing in the refrigerator. I've had 2 meals over the last 3 days. Our house is practically empty, as he has no money to purchase possessions, he spends it all on alcohol and cigarettes. We constantly argue and bicker. He's yet to hit me, I'm bigger than him, I'm 6'1" weighing 205 and he's 5'8" weighing around 140, this is the only thing I have on him and the only reason why he never hit me. He is the source of my anger and insanity. He doesn't realize he is the problem. He doesn't realize why my brothers left, his two ex wives left, my half brothers left and his own family left him to rot. He blames everyone but himself, and hides behind a beer can when confronted about anything. He has no one and is nobody. And it's all his own doing.
When he's sober, which is around once or twice a month when he has no money, he constantly accuses me of having anger issues, and blaming my poor quality of life on myself, he yells at me for all things petty, and provides me with absolutely zero emotional or physical support, the only thing he cares about is getting more alcohol. I don't not love him anymore, and as horrible as it is to say, I won't shed a tear when he finally passes away.
Yesterday afternoon was the last straw. I was helping him move some things when I blacked out, out of nowhere, surely from lack of food and fluids. We have hard wood floor, causing my head to bust and bleed. He leaves me there for over 20 minutes, without even turning an eye or checking on me, to where I finally come through and he's laughing at me calling me a dumbass. And walks out of the room. Any decent and reasonable parent WILL NOT do that. Throughout the day as am tending to my head, he'll give a occasional remark like "pussy" or laugh at me. Not once did he ask if I was okay. He threatened to call the sheriff if I didn't clean up the blood from my head. I told him I might have a concussion, he tells me to suck it up and stop being a pussy. This is what every situation is like, every part of my life, every day of my life.
Last summer, I was severely depressed and I attempted to commit suicide, my girlfriend stopping me. I attempted again the next week, and my girlfriend, being out of town, called the police and they took me to a mental facility for 2 days and 3 nights. I refused to tell them why I had, my father being the reason. I was afraid to what he might do to me if I told them about him.
I have two semesters of college left, however my mother offered me a place to stay out of town where she lives, but I must transfer colleges, and bunk with my 4 year old half brother in the same room, take a semester off and find a new job. All of my friends will be left behind, my college progress (all of my units don't transfer) and my job. Basically starting over.
The decision might be easy to some of you, but he's still my dad and I don't want to leave him living alone, very possibly for the rest of his life. Am I being to considerate of him? Should I just get the fuck out?
Submitted July 02, 2017 at 09:17PM by EEJW98 http://ift.tt/2tF4cwn relationship_advice
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