[G] A guide to sleeping with your mother incest

I've gotten pretty sick of all the advice posts from people who want to sleep with their moms, so I've gone ahead and written this guide. This guide is guaranteed to work 99.9% of the time -- you will sleep with your mom if you follow the advice of this thread.

How can I make such a bold claim, you ask? Well, while I haven't actually slept with my own mom, I have read tons and tons of true stories as well as advice threads from people with some really good ideas about how to get started, and it is from culling these various sources that I have managed to cobble together the following guide.

The following strategies may not work individually, but work so frequently that if you try all of them you will reach the 99.9% guarantee noted above.

1. Let her catch you masturbating: This one is so obvious that I almost feel stupid mentioning it. Everybody knows that women are immediately turned on by the sight of an erect penis. Always. It's just how their brains work -- they see cock, they want sex. So sit down in your room with your cock out, put some MILF or incest porn in plain view, open your door, and start spanking it as soon as you hear her come home. And don't be afraid to be calling "mommy"! If there's anything that turns on a middle-aged woman, it's infantile behavior. Be aware that this strategy will likely fail if your cock is not big enough, but as long as you're in the normal range of penis sizes -- somewhere betwen 8 and 11 inches -- you'll have a pretty good shot.

2. Write her a letter/Confess your feelings: Obviously you have feelings for your mother -- love, lust, whatever you want to call it -- but she has no idea. So why not just tell her in a massive, unexpected, and cathartic confession? Unload everything: how you've been jerking it to thoughts of her since you were 13; how you've been stealing and sniffing her panties; how you've been spying on her when she goes to the bathroom. Just let it all out there, all at once and completely without warning. The key point, though, is to make it all about what you want -- because that's what really matters, isn't it? Once she truly understands the depth of your passion, the only sensible thing for her to do will be to invite you into her bed.

3. Spy on her, and leave a bit of evidence: Obviously we all spy on the people we want to be intimate with; steal their panties, look for their sex toys, watch them while they shower, etc. This goes without saying. What most people don't realize, though, is that this is also a near-surefire avenue to a sexual relationship! The key is to leave some evidence that you're doing it, like cumstains on panties or an open browser history. Once your mother realizes what you've been up to, she'll come seek you out for a sexual relationship, because there's nothing that turns a woman on more than a massive and ongoing invasion of privacy.

4. Stop wearing clothes: If you feel that strategy 1 is a little lacking in subtlety, then I recommend this one. Stop wearing clothes around the house! Start by only wearing pants, and then after a reasonable amount of time (say, 10-12 hours), graduate underwear only. If she still doesn't get the hint, just go all out and get naked. But make sure you act casual -- women are naturally aroused by the sight of a naked man standing next to the refrigerator and drinking milk.

5. Beg her: I bring this one up to help out the teenagers and virgins who don't have much experience with women and are afraid they might mess up when trying to implement strategies 1-4. Indeed, this is very similar to strategy 2, but requires even less emotional range. Just beg her! Ask her to have sex with you, and on the off-chance that she refuses, start asking over and over again with increasing desperation. Women just love infantile desperation. She'll be yours in no-time.

That's it boys. Good hunting!

And in case it isn't already obvious.... /s

Submitted January 05, 2017 at 05:48AM by incthrowaway1 http://ift.tt/2iFFKCN incest