September 13th, 2015
Oh Marta, how I adore that day I found your camera online some time ago. I've lost track how long I've watched you, but I am at a point where nothing else is considered entertainment. As the lights flicker out of my high resolution 4-monitor setup in my home office and onto my face, I am always astonished how your most mundane activities become something that peaks my interests.
I long to see your strong, tan legs walk around your living room in nothing but your husband's Oxford button down. Why does an average Hispanic woman turn into something of my dreams simply because she doesn't know I am watching? A 7 at the mall, done up like it was her first date with her husband, pales in comparison to the woman on my screen. On my screen, Marta is a 10. Whether she is on the carpet eating microwaved popcorn in a green plastic bowl or laying on the couch for a nap after watching her Spanish soap operas, she is a sight to behold.
Your name is not Marta, I know this. Like everyone I watch, I give you a name, often in spite of learning your real name over time. Of all the thousands of random strangers I have watched across the world, Marta is of course my favorite. She does nothing special, nothing erotic, just typical things a Hispanic mother would do, but she is the most enticing person I have found to watch and seemingly for no reason. If anything ever happened to her, I feel I would be beside myself.
There's a pattern to Marta's days and weeks. Having had a monitor dedicated to her security camera's feed, I began to profile Marta to the best of my abilities. When she cooked, cleaned, when her husband comes home, when they put their children to sleep. By this point there is very little that I don't already know about Marta. She's very short, maybe five foot tall with very typical Hispanic woman features; long black hair, thick yet small stature, and her skin looked to be made of a tan silk.
Often, I find myself thinking about how Marta would feel if she knew I was watching her on a screen nearly every hour that I am awake and she is in her living room. More often than that I wonder what her husband would think. He is also of small stature, like majority of Hispanic men you see. Julio is his name and he walks with his chest out and head held high, like a proud Chihuahua. Being married to Marta, I can understand why he would feel so proud.
Would Julio care that I watch his wife without his permission? He is so proud, he would definitely be irate if he knew, if he knew. Would he be scared? Would he care more about the fact that I watch his wife sleep or that I know more about his children than he does? Watching a family go through their daily rituals has become my daily ritual. Would they find this flattering? I often think that if someone cared to watch me that I would be happy. I am alone.
September 14th, 2015
I do it because I want to. I do it because I can. I do it because I am smarter than them. I do it because I like it.
Growing up I was always interested in computers, security, hacking, what-have-you. I used to brute force various accounts and sell them in middle school. I've helped countless people disappear off the Internet. Nothing intrigues me like watching people through their unprotected cameras. It has become my reality television, my ESPN, my Disney.
It's quite easy to keep me out, but tell that to the thousands of people that I have watched from nearly every country on Earth. Every type of camera is out there to view; an elderly couple watching their yard for hooligans, nanny cameras, security cameras in stores and shops. You would be astonished to know just how many people don't even set a password to their camera.
Marta isn't home right now, it's Monday. Marta is never home on Monday afternoons. She attends her son's soccer practices every Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 4:30-7. I still leave her camera on the monitor though, I never take it off. You never know what details of someone you will pick up even from just staring at their couch for six hours at a time.
September 17th, 2015
I thought I lost Marta today.
The monitor I keep Marta's camera on was black when I came into the office this morning. This has happened before with others that I was watching and majority come back, but others do not. I am not sure what I would do if I lost her. She has become my go to source to feel normal, to feel comfortable.
From the first day I started watching Marta's camera there has always been what looked like little hairs around the lens of the camera. To think that the source of all my entertainment is captured inside of a teddy bear is startling to say the least. I always assume that fur around the lens indicates that it's used for some sort of nanny camera, which would make sense because to me her boys look to be around 4 and 9 years old.
I do not know if Marta and Julio felt the need to take down the camera because they hired a new, more trustworthy nanny or if it was simply knocked down. I could still connect to the administration panel when I put the IP of the camera into my browser, so I assumed that it was just knocked down.
As time passes, I sit staring at my screens. The other three monitors are always playing other people; stores, other families, offices. The 4th screen, the black one, has all my attention.
Just as I am starting to really slip into a bad place over the thought of losing Marta I see the camera move and a little bit of light shines through the previous blackness. The next thing I see is Julio's face way too close to the camera as he is picking it up. We locked eyes. Or, I locked eyes with him. I'm not sure you can lock eyes with someone you don't know exists.
Thanks to Julio the screen is back to normal and I am starting to come back to reality, or what I consider reality. Still somewhat uneasy at the thought that it was that easy for it all to go away. I wasn't ready for the finale of this show, there was still so much more to tell. How would Julio feel if he knew I was out of their lives after so much time, only for him to bring me back in?
I hope I can shake these thoughts of potentially losing Marta before I go to sleep tonight. I do not think after the day I have had that I could go through a restless night. I know I need to not obsess so much over her, I have others, I don't know why she is so important. So many lost before where all I did was log into another one of the thousands of cameras that I have found over the years. Marta is not especially gorgeous compared to other women I have found over the years, but something draws me in. I can remember nothing more exciting than when I get a quick glimpse under the bottom of the long button down shirts she wears.
September 22nd, 2015
Will I ever grow tired of watching others?
Growing up I remember going to the state fair with my friends and we would people watch. After we rode rickety rides, ate expensive fair food, saw a few shit-covered animals, we always thought it was a good idea to find somewhere to sit and just watch the people go by. Is this one of the reasons this is so interesting to me? Watching others and having emotions and discussions about them, without them having a clue. Would I be as interested in this if we didn't watch the whales deepthroating deep fried snickers next to their fat-assed husbands eating a turkey leg as big as his own?
It seems throughout my entire life that watching people do mundane things has been more interesting than watching people do their trained acts. Comedians, actors and actresses, various entertainers; I cannot seem to find interest in them like I have in Marta and I suppose Julio.
Will I ever meet them? I'd like to, but I know they wouldn't like to meet me. I know Marta lives in Hacebuches, Mexico near the US border. Being roughly 2,500 miles away in Utah means we will likely never organically run into each other, but I would love nothing more than to see that she exists in real life.
I have even seen Marta's house. It's amazing what you can figure out about someone by looking at things in a room and using technology. The IP is publicly facing from Hacebuches, on a street off of Mexican Highway 20. What you can find out using Google and other search engines is startling. Hell, a search engine is what brought Marta and I, and so many others, together.
There's so much information in a picture, the cliché goes that a picture is worth a thousand words. Six pictures between three end tables that I can see. The family is so photogenic. They seem to love taking photos and displaying them. I'd love to see their fridge, there's so much you can tell from the average family's refrigerator doors.
Two cars in the background of these pictures. A silver SUV and an old orange Camaro, the latter of which is no doubt Julio's. Scouring the street that I was lead to on Google Maps I switch to Street View, which allows me to see a stagnant view of the Mexican neighborhoods. I look up and down the streets in the area until I found it. The orange Camaro. 2112 Juarantelo Street, just like Google said, off Mexican Highway 20. How is it that easy? I always knew it was so easy to watch, but I never knew it was so easy to find the strangers that I am so entertained by. I've never went this far, I've never cared enough. What am I doing?
Submitted April 08, 2016 at 09:45PM by IAmWatching_You http://ift.tt/1Vdze5r nosleep
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