tI'm not always a nice person and I don't have a poker face. Sometime I blurt out untactful things. Maybe on the Asperger spectrum a bit. Anyway. What happened: I've been staying with my older sister (dementia, lots of other health issues) while her husband is in hospital for heart surgery. Dr. says he can't climb stairs to his bedroom anymore. Son Tony and his wife come over yesterday morning saying they're going to move bed down and convert dining room and clean the kitchen, toss out of date stuff. Great. I take a long respite at my house and come back 5 hours later. Over 95% of the food has been thrown out. Gone. Two cupboards and the refrigerator gutted. The expression on my face must have been horrified as I looked at the empty open shelf cupboard and said with anguish : "You threw out the peanut butter?" Actually that was about the only thing they didn't throw out. It was moved to the cupboard with the door. Nephew bought groceries and now there is a bit of healthy food. Excellent choices for health purpose. Thanks, Tony. But they threw out at least 8 shelves of perfectly good canned items kept as staples. Threw out milk, cranberry juice (unopened), boiled eggs, all crackers, etc,
Okay. This is horribly rude. Nephew and his wife are masters of the grand gesture. They come in and do big visible projects and pat themselves on the back about what good Christians they are. Haven't been around visiting his sick mom, much less helping with any of the caregiving, doesn't call etc. So I sit down and talk with sister. It's a done deal, let it go. Other son Billy comes in with a casserole his wife made. He leaves to do BACK to the hospital where he's been 4/5 of the time for a week with his dad. Nephew Tony'swife makes passive aggressive comment: "I guess I should have just made a casserole" (i.e. instead of buying healthy food.) as they were leaving. That set me off. Billy and/or his wife have been stopping by twice or more every day. Taking sis to doctors. Sitting in hospital rooms. Managing her medication. Cleaning her messes. And Tony and his wife have been nowhere to be seen. I vented on phone to Billy till he was so concerned {for my state of mind} he called his friend and his wife to come check on me. And I ranted to friend, I ranted to Billy's wife when she came over.
Tony stopped by a few minutes just now (surprise - I can count on my fingers the number of times he's been here in two years) and I apologized for my over reaction. He said "It was hard." So he didn't accept my apology and as far as he knows all I said was "You threw out the peanut butter" with a horrified expression. What should I do, if anything, reddit?
TL;DR: I was rude and my apology was not accepted. I'm still angry but trying to get calm. What, if anything, should I do now, reddit.
Submitted April 25, 2016 at 09:10PM by WinstonDresden http://ift.tt/1YQhM5m relationships
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