I'm writing about my Nmom and her likely-psychopath ex-husband. This is meant just for the catharsis of speaking the truth to somebody. What has gone on ever since 2006 is sick, and we don't know if we will ever escape it.
I'm going to admit my own wrongs first.
Back in 2006, I met a student who was on a break because he was going through a divorce. A very accomplished Physics major, working a great job. He was at his parents' just to be near family, and I was just out of the Army. I stayed with him there for a little while.
His parents accused me of stealing a pack of cigarettes from them when it came from a carton I bought after I spent all my final pay from the Army on them (thousands in a few weeks). He stood up for me, we were kicked out, and he never got his stuff back from them. What I had would fit in a box. He lost everything: a house worth of furniture, washer and dryer, kitchen worth of dishes, thousands of dollars' worth of textbooks, a brand new gaming PC, and all of his clothing.
We ended up moving in with one of his coworkers and that man's girlfriend. His coworker quit, so, he ended up supporting all of us. We found out I was pregnant. He wanted to rush back to university to finish that degree, and I was scared, so I convinced him that we should stay where we were. When we planned on using our tax returns to get an apartment, our leech roommates found out and made a false report to get him arrested. They spent all my income tax return and put me out in the street.
Keep in mind, that's a couple he supported for six months. He even paid for her carpel tunnel surgery! And that's how they repaid him. I never told them about our plans to get an apartment. I only told my mom, and she told them.
He spent three months in jail for something that isn't even physically possible. He has posted about it in the past, but I never have. They said he, 120 pounds, pushed over a 400 pound man just by flicking his shoulder, and after 90 days, they told him he'd go to prison for a year if he didn't plea guilty. They let him out, took ALL of his savings, and now there's not even a record of it. Not court records, police reports, nothing.
By the time he got out, I was living with my mother and her then-husband, who told me every day that he's crazy and would hurt me and our baby. They had me so afraid! So, I refused to have anything to do with him. After a while, I felt bad and contacted him. He was working, making great money, and offered to do anything baby or I would need. My then-stepfather forbade me from speaking to him.
Let's add this up. He gave up everything he owned for me, gave up his degree for me, lost his job trying to take care of me, got put down, insulted, and locked out of my life when he didn't deserve it, still offered to do anything for me and our baby that he possibly could, and for that he was only insulted and locked out again. He fell apart. The way he says it now is that he did nothing but good for everybody he could, and the better a man he was, the worse evil was done to him in return. He has PTSD thanks to this.
He fell apart, couldn't continue that job, and to this day, nobody will hire him. We're talking a man who has done research in a NASA program. He can't even get hired here to flip a burger. I didn't believe it until it started happening to me, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
My then-stepfather and mother locked me in their home for three years, only rarely allowing me to leave, and only then if somebody they approved of was going to be around to chaperon me. I'm talking age 21 to 24. When they went to work, they locked the phone and PC in their room so I couldn't have any contact with the outside world. Then, when they spent all their money, they started insulting me for not having a job. They agreed to let me go to Job Corps, and later I found out they only permitted that because they knew I'd be locked in and wouldn't be able to contact my child's father.
When I got done with Job Corps, I ended up living with my then-stepfather again, a four hour walk away from all employers, and he refused to take me anywhere to look for work. My mom had cheated on him, so he slept with her mother, and they were separated by the time I was home. He started trying to get in my pants, and when I told him no, he pinned me against the refrigerator and screamed in my face. He told me if I didn't find a job, I'd have to leave. My daughter was living there with us.
There was a meth dealer living in that trailer park. When that dealer was about to be raided, somebody knocked on my then-stepfather's door and warned him. He helped the meth dealer move. Something is very fishy that law enforcement would blow a raid like that.
I was scared. We made an agreement that when I found a place to live, he would bring my daughter to me. He never did. The police threatened to arrest me when I went to them for help. I finally ended up back in touch with my daughter's father, who did not hesitate to open his door for me because if something happens to me, it hurts our daughter. That's what kind of man he is. It doesn't matter how bad anybody hurts him; he still does the right thing.
By then, my mother was back with my now ex stepfather. They started putting him down and me too. At that point, suddenly, I couldn't get hired anywhere! It doesn't matter how many people are putting in a good word for me, how many interview coaching sources I study, nor what I put on the application. I swear to God, it's like there's a list of people who are not to be hired under any circumstances, and we're on it. At this point, thank God we screwed up my daughter's father so bad because had he not ended up disabled, we'd probably both be dead.
They sued me for custody of our daughter. I was never even allowed to speak in court. They sent us to a family counselor, and both I and he reported everything that happened. She insulted him in her report, saying he "has too much control". WHAT? This man had his whole life torn apart by us! What control does he have?! She included NOTHING in her report except what poor, unappreciated saints my Nmom and her "man" are. They got custody, and I got visitation every other Sunday. My daughter's father promised to try his best to mend bridges with them.
We found out in this process that at least since she was six, my Nmom's "man" has been showering naked with our older daughter. CPS found out, and investigated all of us. The police said that if we press the issue, they investigate it, and nothing comes of it, then we would go to prison. CPS said it's normal. How is it normal for a man in his sixties to shower naked with a six year old little girl he's not related to, while having both a woman and a live-in babysitter to watch the child?
We had another daughter. My Nmom was kind during the pregnancy, then started tearing into me again right after, putting me down, constantly insulting and berating both of us while playing innocent like she has never done any wrong. I lost it. I ran. For six months, I was gone, he took care of our younger daughter alone, and then he STILL brought me back home on his dollar. That was about two and a half years ago.
Since then, we have both been berated or gotten the cold shoulder from Nmom and her "man". When my daughters' father refused to let my Nmom's "man" be alone with our younger daughter (can you blame him?), that "man" said he was going to "make him see". My daughters' father started by telling that "man" that he has PTSD thanks to what was done to him, and that "man" started screaming at the top of his lungs, putting him down, and threatening him. So, we told that "man" he is never welcome to visit here again.
Now they are withholding visitation with our older daughter, violating the court order.
We can't afford the thousands of dollars a lawyer costs. We can't get hired anywhere; it's like we're blacklisted. The police have always done nothing but threaten us when we go to them for help. Legal aid programs refuse to help us.
We're so scared that we cry more than anybody should. My Nmom's "man" engineered taking our daughter, imprisoned me, almost raped me, kidnapped our daughter, exposes himself to her, somehow bribed a court, and helped somebody in law enforcement to assist a meth dealer's escape. I'm scared to even post this. We live in fear for our lives, and we can't even move. Nobody will help us; we only get threatened.
I don't know what to do. We're trapped in a living hell. And to this day, my mom says she has "done nothing wrong".
I guess I kind of hope somebody senior in law enforcement, maybe in Washington D.C. will see one of our posts about this and start digging, because there has to be some kind of organized crime here, and it runs very deep. I'm not joking at all.
edits: I'm fixing mistakes like spelling or saying something other than I meant to because it scares me so bad to post this publicly that my hands are shaking.
Done editing. I shouldn't post this. I'm afraid of what might happen to us because I have. I just wish somebody would help us. I'm crying so hard right now.
Submitted January 18, 2016 at 05:06AM by scared_and_stuck http://ift.tt/1Pke913 raisedbynarcissists
No comments:
Post a Comment