Monday, January 25, 2016

My friend constantly belittles me and I have had enough! offmychest

So I have this "friend" who used to be a really supportive, fun, and great person. Lately, since he started college, he has completely changed and is now very self-absorbed and also kind of a bully in a way. He loves to remind me every single day that my car is a boring piece of shit that I need to trade for an import sports car and that I should be ashamed to have it, although the car has been very reliable and I have no intentions of parting with it when it has been such a good car and I have no desire to own a sports car, or pay the insurance for one.

He also will NEVER leave me alone about my political and religious beliefs. He is an Atheist and a Democrat, and I have always respected that and never trash talked his beliefs ONCE although I am a Christian and a Republican. I am very laid back and accept people for who they are, and do not try to change them. He is also homosexual and so despises my religion although I do not personally have anything against homosexuals. I just believe in God and Jesus and I pretty much live life by the Ten Commandments and The Golden Rule. I actually try to stray away from those topics (religion and politics) because those are something we obviously don't agree on and I would rather agree to disagree and have friendly discussion about stuff we do agree on instead. However, he always tries to turn everything into a long speech on why I am a selfish, disgusting human being because of my beliefs. I have told him several times before that I do not want to discuss politics or religion because I know it will start an argument (and believe me, when he tries to start one I do my very best to keep my cool although he begins to personally attack me in an attempt to upset me, and unfortunately sometimes it works), but he doesn't care. He lives for drama and controversy, and I am the exact opposite. Because my family has similar beliefs to mine and he knows this, he will insult my family in order to get a rise out of me, and unfortunately that works because I have no tolerance for insults towards my family.

A good example of what he can be like is this story: There was a time that he was still living with his mother and their air conditioner broke, and she just took off without saying a word because she couldn't stand the heat. Now, this guy is the epitome of irresponsible and has not really been taught any life skills, so when the washing machine also broke, he wore every outfit he owned until he had dirtied all of his clothes, then called me begging for me to help him out. He had also eaten every bit of food in the refrigerator and was too broke to buy any more, so I stupidly agreed to take him to the laundromat and Burger King as a good friend. Of course, he asked me my thoughts on communism, and I told him that I didn't agree with it (just like that, not hateful or anything). I shouldn't have even answered. He went on a tirade about how I'm a greedy, selfish b****, although I had just spent MY money on him. I know that that is partially my fault for even helping him out anyway since he had started being a shitty friend a little while before that, but I did expect at least a "thanks for helping me out".

I have since tried to keep my contact with him very limited (I will only speak to him if he tries to contact me first), although I know I should probably cut ties for good. I am hoping that maybe this is just a phase and that the old, pre-college him who was so fun, friendly, and supportive will come back, although it may not. His family actually reached out to me (he was being very disrespectful towards his mother and making very poor decisions) because at the time I was his closest friend and they thought I could help him. I have a huge heart and try my best to love and accept people for who they are, give them way too many chances, and never give up on them, but I don't think I can help him. I try to get through to him, but he will have no part of it. There are times where he is almost like his old self and is actually enjoyable to talk to, but they are very short-lived. It's just so frustrating.

We got so close at one time that he was like the brother I never had, and now he's unbearable to be around and tries to make me feel terrible about myself, and even tries to get his group of college friends (some of who have similar personalities) to gang up on me and they all talk down to me and laugh in my face. I guess the thing that really hurts is this: After I have dropped everything and gone to bat for him, and (was) so willing to help him out in his times of need, he tried to publicly humiliate me in front of his friends and constantly treated me like a dog. Even after I never judged his beliefs or tried to force them on him (although he certainly loves to try to push his on me and judges mine like crazy), he treats me like that, and we have known each other since we were children. However, he has an online friend in another country that he doesn't even known in person who calls him a "fag", constantly says stuff about "taking over the US and forcing you to be Muslim", and all sorts of really insulting stuff towards him, and he sits there and takes it! I apologize for the book, but I just had to get this off my chest.



Submitted January 26, 2016 at 10:41AM by awes0meness http://ift.tt/1OUnsFS offmychest

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