Me [20 M] with my roommate [22 M] of 5 months, had an argument over his girlfriend [18 F] who comes over our apartment almost every day and sometimes stay over for few days a week. relationships

• I moved in with three roommates (two same age as mine [20] and other at [22] of age) on August 2015.

For clarifications, I will say one roommate who is 20 years of age is not relevant to this drama. For security reasons, I will identify the names as fictional names.

• I will identify my 20-year old roommate as James, and his recent ex-girlfriend, Isabella [18].

• And, 22-year old roommate as Blake and his on-going girlfriend of 3 and 1/2 month, Ashley [18].

• Isabella and Ashley are international students from China. They have been friends together since high school.

We are college roommates in an apartment on-campus (not affiliated with university housing) for over five months now. We pay our expensive rent and utilities individually, not split (shitty, I know). In October, Ashley had stayed over our apartment for a month. Despite the fact that her dorm is 5-minute walk away. It was really annoying. Using our utilities, laundry, kitchen appliances, refrigerator, and etc. However, we each have our own bathroom and shower, so no worries there. Unfortunately, she now stays over few days a week.

James and I do not like Ashley at all. Unsurprisingly, Isabella does not like Ashley either. Isabella and I messaged each other through social media (mostly Snapchat) talking behind Ashley's back. Isabella would do the same. Ashley is her roommate in their dorm. In addition, even Blake admitted to James and I that Ashley's a really boring girl who has no friends with poor personality. Eventually, after Ashley had been staying over for a month in our apartment sleeping in Blake's room, Blake told her she needs to "chill out" and only stay over 3 days a week (on the weekends Friday to Sunday. Sometimes Thursday to Sunday). One time, Ashley cried over a text she saw from me to a friend few weeks ago who came over our apartment that says "Ugh, Ashley is still here." She cried over to Blake and Isabella, "What did I do wrong?"

Fast forward to last Thursday, Michael and Isabella broke up. Two days later, Blake sent Isabella's Snapchat screenshots of James and I talking behind Ashley's back on our roommate group messages. We don't know how he got those screenshots, but we think Ashley snooped on Isabella's phone, found out we all have been talking behind her back, and sent them to Blake. I texted Isabella multiple times asking how her pictures got leaked, but she is asleep at the moment. The chats I've said about Ashley to Isabella were pure hatred and insults. I am not proud of what I've said. I've said stuff from how James is in a relationship with Ashley just for her body to how Ashley's personalities are non-existent and she is obsessed with James.

We only talked this out through group messages and not face-to-face yet. I fully told Blake how I feel about his girlfriend, Ashley. I told him how I do not like her a single bit, I am irritated when she is around, I would ignore her when she is around, I do not like when someone would mention me about Ashley at least once a day for 5 months, and how James feels sick to his stomach when Blake and Ashley have sex really loud in their room.

Blake then cut off the conversation by saying he is "not even that mad" and then sent these self-explanatory texts:

• "done with all this lame ass drama shit though I really don't care if I'm the only one who likes her."

• "You can move out if it all bothers you that badly."

• "She isn't going anywhere for awhile. I had no intention of stopping [bringing her over to our apartment], I might start leaving the door cracked to make your stomach churn tho. [sex]"

I would like to note that James and I have no hatred or dislike feelings towards Blake. We actually like him. We just don't like his girlfriend being around almost every day. However, I don't think Blake likes me as much as our other roommates.

tl;dr:

Ashley found out James, Isabella, and I have been talking behind her back. E.g. Ashley being over our apartment every day, and being really loud and annoying. No one likes to be around Ashley except Blake (Ashley's boyfriend). I've been ignoring Ashley every time she came over to our apartment. Blake says he doesn't want to talk about it anymore after discussing what had happened. Blake will selfishly continue to do what he has been doing, and passive aggressively said he will let his door open so we can hear them have sex. I do not want to move out of the apartment as it does not bother me badly, and I still like Blake as my roommate.

Questions

• How should I act around Ashley?

• Am I in the wrong (my fault)?

• I want to know what are the best ways to settle this situation.

• What I can do to stop this situation from escalating.

• Any other advice that could defuse this situation.

Submitted January 31, 2016 at 01:15PM by roommateProblemz http://ift.tt/1JR6bRm relationships