Sunday, January 24, 2016

Reasons I am banned from Northshore Community Hospital ShittyPoetry

  • IV bag water balloons
  • Games of tag in the waiting room
  • Wheelchair jousting and crutch lances
  • Morning coffee laced with morphine
  • A medical license that’s been a lie since day 1
  • Fruit punch in the eye rinse station.
  • Ventral fibrillations treated with sedation
  • Falsifications of my “employee evaluation” form
  • Gurney races
  • Spiked medications
  • Real-life games of operation
  • A patient-survival gambling ring
  • Repurposed defibrillators (Joy buzzers)
  • Cadavers in the refrigerator
  • Blind vasectomies
  • Discount lobotomies
  • Fashionable amputations
  • Knockoff immunizations
  • Enemas for my enemies and
  • Home remedies for hospital charities (Read: Homeopathy)
  • Laxatives as a food additive in the geriatric ward
  • Sedatives in the immunization packages for the poor
  • Working x-ray specs in the oncology ward
  • and a scoreboard tracking patient survival rates

(I’m not winning)

All these reasons and many more

tell why NCH showed me the door.



Submitted January 25, 2016 at 05:01AM by Crappy_Alien_Drawing http://ift.tt/1nt2OGl ShittyPoetry

No comments:

Post a Comment