I have a little brother that farted bare-assed into my face 8 years ago. His asshole puckered and I felt the bubbles of stench roll around my nose and fumigate my sinuses. It was the worst way I've ever woken up. I recently was on reddit looking at "the worst prank ever" where you melt butter, poop in a butter tub, pour the melted butter on top, let it coagulate, and then it looks like butter and hides your poop. I did that. It took about two weeks to find out about it. We were sitting at dinner and it started to smell a little. The butter had been left out for a few hours and had started to get soft, which for whatever reason was allowing the smell of the poop to be revealed. I tried to put it back in the fridge in my embarassment because I realized how fucked up a prank it was, and how my family was all eating the butter, not just my brother. I am not a smart man. My mother is the one that found the poop. Nobody knew I did it, because it literally makes no sense. My mother tried to sue the "I can't believe it's not butter" folks until I had to admit I pooped in the butter. Now my family won't speak to me. Hate begets hate. Don't join the dark side.
Submitted May 31, 2015 at 11:47PM by samjung http://ift.tt/1LVhjs0 funny
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