Sunday, May 24, 2015

TIFU by sleeping with pizza crumbs around my pillow, and waking up with an ant in my eye. God damn ant in my fucking eye. tifu

So it's about 1 PM here, and I just managed to get this little mother fucker out of my eye.

I woke up a little earlier than usual thanks to the irritation in my eye. I thought it was because I hadn't slept enough, and tried to doze again... but not to be, the irritation, now increased and because clear that a foreign object was there in my eye.

Sure enough, I headed to the refrigerator, grabbed some cool water and started rinsing it; but it just wouldn't washed off. I decided to let it be and blink the particle out, and proceeded to have my morning coffee to kick start the Sunday, but the thing just wouldn't come out.

When I finally looked into the mirror, holy fuck there was a damn red ant, pretty small in size, but in my damn eye. Like it was trying to go right through it.

All the Discovery and Animal Planet shows, where people travel to Nicaragua and have this eel inside their guts, started running though my mind. I began to wonder if there were more ants in there.

I called up my mom, and she suggested using milk to try removing it. No shit, it didn't work. The worst part was, the ant didn't seem to move at all. It was firmly rooted to my eye, and was stuck!

Rubbing my eyes, I drove over to our nearby optician, and looking at my plight, everyone let me visit the doc first.

The doc at first was like, "Here, have some water, and try rinsing it." What the fuck? You think I am a small teenage girl, to go running to the doc for a papercut and shit?

When that didn't work out, the doc then tried using cotton swabs(q-tips?) to get the motherfucker out. But he just wouldn't move.

The doc then started freaking out. Now their entire family runs the clinic, and are all opticians. So now we got, husband, wife, son, daughter, and at least 3-4 nurses peeping into my eye, and deciding what to do.

After a lot of murmuring and after much apprehension, there it was, the scariest pair of tweezers I have ever seen, now being put into action.

I made sure not to blink, lest the tweezers should puncture my already dying eye. When the doc started pulling out the ant, I thought it would be over in jiff, but I could not have been wronger.

Each time he pulled the motherfucker off, I could feel my entire membrane on my eye, coming off, and ant clinging to it. 30 mins. YES. 30 mins to trying to pull him off, in different ways, in vain. Now round 2 of discussions, and by this time my eye looked like a fucking traffic light, glowing bright red.

He then filled my eye with some liquid, and asked me to close it for 5 mins. By this time, I was so tired I didn't even question him. After which, the tweezing began again, and this time, phew! the motherfucker's mouth failed. He was finally loose.

But the thing was bound so strongly to my eye, the tweezer ended up breaking the ant into 2. The major part of the ant was still left in my eye. He then used the cotton swab to take it out.

Phew! my eyes seemed alive again, and I could finally see without the sensation of 1000 grains of sand in my eyes.

TL;DR: Left some pizza crumbs in a plate next to my bed before sleeping, got an ant trying to bite my eye, and ended up getting there.

Had to spend more than 5 hours in trying to get the mother fucker out.

Worst place for an ant to bite? Your eyes.



Submitted May 24, 2015 at 01:39PM by GnomyGnomy7 http://ift.tt/1FMl4l9 tifu

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