Friday, September 8, 2017

Last Night Was a Nightmare (LONG) Divorce

Stbx husband and myself separated months ago, as detailed in my last post here. We hadn't discussed the ins and outs or our planned procedure because he is an Aspie and I am not the most fabulous communicator. I was so afraid of how he would act if I tried to initiate the divorce that I just didn't do anything at all and dissociated.

Two days ago began the barrage of texts and phone calls. At first, he was criticizing me saying that he didn't see any way to save the relationship (which I have absolutely zero desire to do, anyway) and that he wanted me to agree to the divorce being filed next week. He told me he wanted to talk to me about a few issues before filing, though.

That ended up being a trap. When I began clarifying things and acknowledging him over text, he thought that was me "working it out" with him. I quickly realized I'd stepped into a sticky situation and things were going to go bad. How bad? I didn't know at the time.

My heart was breaking as he expressed years worth of love and admiration for me, knowing that my heart will remain unchanged in this matter. It was much too late for these things. He asked me to think about it for 24 hours. He told me if I still wanted a divorce after that, it was okay, he just wanted to know and have closure, regardless. I already knew my answer but didn't say anything.

Last night, he called. At first, the conversation was well. We discussed the hurricane and other things. Then, he asked me if I'd made my mind up. I went silent. He said, "You want the divorce, don't you?" I confirmed.

He went absolute ape sh*t. He was driving down the road at the time and put his fist through his driver's side window and shattered the whole thing. He was screaming and shouting and, presumably, driving erratically. Any attempt on my part to calm him was futile, yet he wouldn't let me off the phone.

He pulled into the neighborhood where I was staying and proceeded to exit his vehicle. I didn't know what he was doing. He is a gun enthusiast so I thought he was coming to kill me and/or himself. I was scared to death.

He ended up just removing as much of the glass from his vehicle as he could and he drove off while still on the phone with me. He came back down the road and slowed in front of the house and said, "If you wanna talk and work things out, I'll stop right now. If it's the divorce, I'm leaving. Let me know right now!" I was paralyzed with fear. The terror I felt in that moment ensured I would never, ever be working things out with him. He'd never scared me before in seven years, but this was a different side of him that I could not entertain. So, he told me "f*ck you!" and drove off again in a storm.

He sat down the street at a store for a while, holding me hostage on the phone basically. Then, he told me that he was done with everybody and was leaving town. He started driving. I could hear things flying around while he was ranting like a loose cannon and banging on his steering wheel. Every second of that phone call I thought I was going to hear him wreck and die. I started praying. He told me he was on the interstate and was gonna drive until his money ran out. He has no sense of direction and so I was worried he was going to get lost. It sounded like he was driving 100 MPH. He wanted me to beg him to come back. But, I wouldn't allow myself to be manipulated in that way.

At a certain point, he hung up on me. He called back five minutes later and told me he'd left his truck on the side of the road and was walking alone in the dark. I was hysterical and begging him to go back to his vehicle when I began to hear a TV in the background, bags crinkling, the hum of a refrigerator, etc. That's when I realized he'd gone home and was basically psychologically tormenting me as a means of getting me to take him back.

I hung up on him and haven't heard from him since. He had vowed to destroy all of his sisters' marriages by the end of today, so I'm sure I'll be receiving the blame and backlash from that later.



Submitted September 08, 2017 at 11:25PM by Beachinbeauty http://ift.tt/2xUaMhj Divorce

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