Hi, I am engaged. I have been in a relationship with my fiancé for 10 years as friends and for 2 as a girlfriend/fiancé. I love him very much, but I have to wonder if I should end the relationship. He is a homebody, and I'm not what I would call busy. I enjoy couch surfing and reading--it's a favorite of mine actually. However, it's his only interest. He never wants to go out or do anything that I like to do. Indeed, he lacks energy in general. He NEVER asks me on dates. I have to ask him to take me out, and then I plan the date. This never changes. I want to be pursued--even with small thoughtful gifts or notes (I don't expect lavish dates). His lack of energy extends to his job, diet (which is improving with my insistence), and grades (which he lies about). He hates living at home, but refuses to get the nerve to move out (which bothers me, even though he's in college) because he makes enough money to support himself. However, the negative being stated, he is a very tender hearted and compassionate person. He truly loves me, and would be devastated if I ended things. I would be heart-crushed too, because I love him. We rely on each other and we CAN depend upon each other for support. If I need something he is there in an instant. My car breaks down ALL THE TIME and he picks me up and fixes it for free, and things to that affect. We get along really well together. We have the same friends, we make each other laugh, we can truly be ourselves together. When we see each other it feels like peace. He is the best part of my day. I think over-all, the main trouble in our relationship is that we do not grow together. He grows, but very slowly. I am way ahead of him maturity wise (better with money, time, and acting my age). I think it is his laziness and maturity which pushes us apart. I have told him this over and over again, but nothing changes. But I don't want to leave him because I love him, and I do think that we belong together. An example that may help to illustrate the situation: Yesterday I got off of work at mid-night. I stayed at his family's home because it is much closer than mine. He generously offered the bed and he slept on the couch. The bed was bare mattress with the sheet thrown on top and crumpled with the blanket. His toilet was filthy. It was generous to offer the bed, but I felt offended that he didn't think enough of me to make up the bed. Thirty minutes before I arrived I asked if he would microwave some hot dogs to settle my hunger until morning, and had to BEG him to do it (I feel weird about taking food from his family's refrigerator). I appreciate what he did, and I feel ungrateful for being irked by the other things. I don't know if I am self-sabotaging or if my frustration is valid?
TL;DR: My fiance never puts any energy into his life our relationship. We still love each other though. WHat does this mean?
Submitted September 23, 2017 at 02:13AM by JeyneWesterling http://ift.tt/2ffKXQL relationship_advice
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