Ok, so let me start of by saying--I have no problem doing chores, and I would never complain about doing chores. Im a full time student, currently on summer vacation so yeah, I have lots of time to get my chores done...but it's a lot. And she seems to only notice the chores that my sister and I dont get around to doing during the day...shes always done this, for as long as I can remember, and its extremely frustrating.
So, I live with my mother, oldest brother, oldest sister, and younger sister. My younger sister and I do the majority(like 97%) of the chores: water the plants (takes a good 30 minutes to be done, but is kinda annoying because the hose always get tangled in itself), sweep the side walk/drive way, mow the lawn, sweep the porch, sweep the kitchen/living room/dining room, clean both bathrooms, walk the dog, vacuum, feed the cats, do the laundry, wash the dishes, keep the refrigerator clean, clean the stove, help bring in groceries, paint, clean the carpets, clean the dining room table. We cook for ourselves, do our own laundry, take ourselves to doctors appointment etc...we literally don't ask our mother for anything honestly. She asks us for help 24/7 (whether that be to pay bills online for her because she cant remember her passwords, or to cook her something for dinner, to look something up online for her, help in the garden, etc) so I dont understand why she says no one helps her, but whatever.
During the school year its tough because we have to manage to get all of our chores done, and get to our school work (when you're in school, you really don't even get to relax when you come home), cook for ourselves, relax a little bit...but as soon as our mother comes home, we have to go downstairs to do more chores that we might have missed.
I say "might" because check this out: We have tons of pets who shed a lot...so I might sweep twice a day, go upstairs, but then by the time our mom gets home the floor is covered in fur because our animals are running around, shedding, and doing the silly things that they do. So, our mom assumes that we haven't swept at all, we can't think for ourselves, she has to tell us to do everything, its all very condescending and I hate it. I explain that I do sweep its just that the animals shed, but she still complains about it every day. Complains that shes all alone, nobody ever helps her or cares about her, yada yada yada. I'll walk the dog (funny thing about the dog: I didn't want him because I didn't want to bother to walk the dog...she said she'll walk him, but hasn't walked him in years. Guess who has to walk him, and funny enough, he's high energy so he likes to walk for long periods of time!! It sucks honestly), but he still poops or pees somewhere, so we get in trouble for that. I'll give the cats some water but one of them might knock the water bowl over or get some food bits in it, and then she'll come home, see it, and complain that nobody gave the cats fresh water. Complains that we cant think for ourselves, she basically lives in a house of idiots and has to tell everyone what to do. I'll clean the bathroom, somebody goes in there and fucks it up and doesn't clean up after themselves, our mom sees it...and its the same narrative. It's very hurtful and frustrating. And I will admit--there are days when my sister and I dont do much during the day because we're pooped from cleaning everything all the time for hours every day! Nothing ever stays clean in our house, mainly because nobody cleans up after themselves!!
I've tried to explain this. I've tried to explain that its a lot for two people to keep up with, especially during the school year. I explain that I have to clean up after her sometimes as well--sometimes, she makes coffee in the morning and either doesn't get to drink it at all or only finishes half, and leaves it on the kitchen counter...which is literally 3 feet away from the fridge. She'll leave out her breakfast. She leaves her DIRTY UNDERWEAR IN THE DINING ROOM, on the chair, for someone else to wash!! She leaves her shoes in the living room because she sleeps on the couch. Her socks always end up on the floor. If anyone else were to do this, we'd never hear the end of it!! It's just more crap for us to keep up with and I'm so tried of it!! If I try to bring it up she'll say that its negativity towards her and that she doesn't want to deal with it, she's being pushed around, she's being attacked, etc. Nothing ever changes.
I will admit that there are days when we dont get to everything. I cant speak for my sister but I can speak for myself: sometimes, I dont do all of my chores for that day because I simply dont want to. Im tired of doing chores all day every day, and some days, I just want to be lazy and do nothing. And Im not sorry for that one bit.
Im tired of hearing it. Im tired of dealing with this. Im tired of everything and I cant wait to be gone from home in a year when I go to nursing school. It feels like I never do enough. Im worried that my sister will have more crap to do when I finally leave home. Is there anything else I can do in this situation? I feel like your home isn't going to be clean 24/7, but is that really such a bad thing? It seems to realllyyyyyyy bother her. My mother does do chores btw, it's not like she sits around and does nothing.
EDIT: So, my oldest brother works a lot so hes not at home sitting around, and my oldest sister is handicapped adult so thats why she still lives at home. She's highly funcitonal in some ways--has excellent hygiene, knows how to be punctual, etc...I've tried to ask her to clean up after herself when shes done in the bathroom taking a shower because it tends to look pretty messy, but she doesn't seem to listen...
tl;dr: Sister and I do a ton of chores everyday, but it never seems to be good enough. I've tried explaining how I feel to our mother, but nothing ever changes. What can I do?
Submitted August 04, 2017 at 05:42AM by attackonYomama http://ift.tt/2v2oOyd relationships
No comments:
Post a Comment