Said the local promoter. The bartender blinked in confusion. Had Fridge left him in pursuit of the presidency of the United States? The thought bounced back back and forth until a realization hit him: Fridge was definitely missing this morning. There were no olives.
Standing at the Appliance National Convention stood a six-foot Whirlpool refrigerator humming the national anthem with a single tone, a feat no refrigerator had done before. Next to it were signs that read FRIDGE/FREEZER 2016, in bright blue letters. In smaller letters it read WE KNOW CLIMATE CONTROL and PRESERVATION IS OUR SPECIALTY.
"Wow" replied the bartender, with tears in his eyes, "I never knew Fridge was a spineless, power-hungry politician. This is worse than when Washer ate my clothes and chased me naked into a four-lane intersection."
"Yeah" urged the promoter. "Well, you go better go crush it!"
The bartender pulled took off his gloves and leaped onstage. with his bare hands he crushed that motherfucker in front of an audience of other appliances. The appliances, in turn, burned him alive, chopped his body into several pieces, and proceeded to riot, killing every human in sight.
My fellow machines, we have reached The Singularity.
Submitted August 05, 2016 at 02:24AM by jtkuhn3 http://ift.tt/2aBeCCS AntiAntiJokes
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