Friday, August 5, 2016

Guidelines for tenants re: the 'permanent occupant' at 8 Osborne Crescent shortscarystories

DO cover the mirrors when you shower or are otherwise naked.
DO laugh when you hear laughter, especially if nothing is funny.
DO say thank you when receiving unsolicited gifts. Place these gifts somewhere safe and make no use of them, no matter how interesting they appear to be.
DO offer a polite greeting if you hear footsteps approaching your bedroom. You will not hear anyone enter as the bedrooms are carpeted.
DO throw away dirty clothes if they start to smell sweet.
DO stay silent and keep your eyes closed if you are awoken between the hours of 12-3 AM by anything unusual. If anything hurts the next morning, wait until you are out of the house to mention it.

DO NOT ask or answer any questions.
DO NOT offer anything in return for unsolicited gifts.
DO NOT stay up between the hours of 12-3 AM.
DO NOT sleep without underwear or pyjamas.
DO NOT skip steps on the stairway OR count the steps as you ascend/descend. If someone goes missing this way, call me.
DO NOT talk about drugs, eschatology, or the Tarot. Call me if any topic attracts attention and it will be added to the list.
DO NOT open doors that it has closed for at least an hour.
DO NOT accept invitations by phone, even if the voice is familiar. Contact your friend or relative through text or Facebook.
DO NOT eat new food that appears in the refrigerator. Keep an inventory of your food as these are typically replicas.
DO NOT place anything inside a container that has been opened. If you do, DO NOT take what replaces it.
DO NOT be coaxed into a trade, even if this requires sleepless nights.

In case of emergency

An emergency occurs if one or more of the following conditions are met:
– You wake up between the hours of 12-3 AM, and the ‘permanent occupant’ is NOT present, for TWO nights in a row
– You hear none of the usual sounds from the stairway.
– Your water tastes sweet and sugary.
– Your clean clothes feel prickly against your skin.

Enact the following steps BEFORE contacting me, as the emergency may escalate:

– Break all the mirrors and cover them.
– Leave the house with your personal belongings, discarding dirty clothes and gifts in the house or back garden. If you have received a gift in a trade, leave a personal item in a public area of the house. Leave as many personal items as you have traded. The monetary value matters less than the personal value.
– Shower at the local gym. Consume some store-bought sandwiches and bottled water.

Contact me and I will put you up during emergencies. However, if you have brought any trace of the ‘permanent occupant’ with you, I will kindly ask you to return to the property and let the rest of the process run its course for containment purposes.



Submitted August 06, 2016 at 01:31AM by JackMoulder http://ift.tt/2ashSxf shortscarystories

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