Totals: 7 days, 5,856 posts, 31,346 comments.
Included in this report: The top 400 posts, and 19,647 of the top comments, by 16,884 distinct authors.
There were 2 gilded posts, and 15 comments were gilded.
See the comments for detailed reports and charts.
Most Popular Posts
| Score |
Author |
Post Title |
| 4808 |
/u/SeedofEden |
They should make realistic Gatorade commercials where hungover people try to drink it without sitting up all the way. |
| 4694 |
/u/wbyte |
The Milky Way could well be the galaxy with the most milk in it |
| 4662 |
/u/tadavagagah11 |
Movie makers should be required by law to depict CPR accurately and with correct technique in their films, because movies provide the only impression of CPR that many people ever bother to get. |
| 4566 |
/u/abrakasam |
In high school, I fantasized about freezing time to touch girls' boobs. That means I had more faith in me being able to stop time than being able to make a girl like me. |
| 4515 |
/u/ShittingVomit |
Most millionaires continue to work very hard despite being worth millions of dollars. There is no way I'd be working, which is why I probably won't be a millionaire. |
| 4330 |
/u/Lermpy |
Somewhere, there really is a couple named Adam and Steve, and they're tired of people pointing it out. |
| 4249 |
/u/Orig_analUse_rname |
If I treated people how I wanted to be treated, I would go around sucking dick. |
| 4198 |
/u/Gish1111 |
If "getting to first base" and "hitting a home run" are sex euphemisms, then "pitching a perfect game" is keeping everyone at a party from f*&%ing. |
| 4180 |
/u/RetardedFlyingCat |
If a male gets breast implants, can his nipples be shown on TV? |
| 4170 |
/u/funmenjorities |
"A mile a minute" sounds way faster than "60 miles an hour" |
| 4161 |
/u/catchafire678 |
What if Earth is the uncontacted Amazonian Tribe of the Galaxy, and aliens don't want to contact us because they want to preserve our primitive and unique culture. |
| 4059 |
/u/redlipstik |
If you really want to know how people think of you, start a game of charades and enthusiastically point to yourself. |
| 3886 |
/u/Mi_Ofelia |
Cell phones should have an extra 'End Call' button that sounds like a handset being slammed down into the telephone cradle so the person on the other end of the line knows it is SO OVER. |
| 3669 |
/u/Mitchell-182 |
The reason squidward is so bad at the clarinet is probably because they are underwater.. |
| 3394 |
/u/biznas |
Surgeons and snipers need steady hands for the exact opposite reason. |
| 3234 |
/u/Miamime |
The Jurassic Park movies have ruined any possibility of there being a dinosaur theme park. |
| 3142 |
/u/CapitalistMarxist |
Every survey is skewed towards people willing to participate in surveys. |
| 2643 |
/u/creynolds31 |
The "juice" in Starburst is just your flavored spit. |
| 2558 |
/u/roman715 |
In 1990, if you owned a car from 1970, it would be a classic, and be considered cool. In 2015, if you own a car from 1995, there is nothing cool about that. |
| 2531 |
/u/r3dd1t0r77 |
If you worship cows, you probably don't eat cows. But if you worship Jesus, you probably eat Jesus. |
| 2444 |
/u/jcmack13 |
Eating a potato is pretty Irish, but so is not eating a potato. |
| 2328 |
/u/Ruarsome |
If a dick was like other muscles and got bigger through regular exercises, gyms would be a lot weirder. |
| 2098 |
/u/autopornbot |
Porn sites should partner with dating sites, track your kinks, and match you with people who are into the same things. |
| 2065 |
/u/ploughhorse |
What if Egyptians actually had a written language, then started using emojis, and that's all that's left? |
| 1773 |
/u/letroller |
Rescue helicopters should have white lights at the end of their blade so when they spin it looks a halo |
| 1747 |
/u/Ep1cDuCK |
600 years in the future, there's a historian who would be absolutely thrilled to have a conversation with me |
| 1623 |
/u/Gurrb17 |
If ejaculating reduces risk of prostate cancer, then porn websites are fighting cancer. |
| 1596 |
/u/Gamermii |
With a good enough 3D printer, I could download more RAM. |
| 1555 |
/u/trentley |
Turning off your alarm is like accepting the day's terms and conditions. |
| 1427 |
/u/Uclydde |
Refrigerators should be clear so you can see inside without opening the door |
| 1329 |
/u/Gundament |
When you pass roadside memorials on the highway, it's kinda like you're beating their highscore. |
| 1208 |
/u/notbobby125 |
If you could actually talk to animals, all you would hear is constant screaming about danger, threats, or demands for sex. |
| 1141 |
/u/BaronVonPoop |
There should be a charity that works with hospitals and Netflix to give patients a temporary Netflix subscription while hospitalized |
| 1139 |
/u/Jade_Lance |
A troll dropping F-bombs in a flame war is not as exciting as those terms make it sound. |
| 1072 |
/u/IM_THE_MOON_AMA |
I've never once been offered free drugs by a stranger, even though I was told this would be a common threat. |
| 1064 |
/u/Apoplexy__ |
I can tell that I just Googled a stupid question when Yahoo Answers is one of the top hits. |
| 966 |
/u/Vonbonnery |
The more exes you have the more names you don't have for your future child |
| 938 |
/u/CamImmaculate |
Reddit is a classroom that rewards the class clowns as much as the smart kids |
Submitted June 16, 2015 at 01:57PM by subredditreports http://ift.tt/1J0YUN8 subredditreports
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