After college, I moved back home with my parents. They have been extraordinarily helpful and supportive between my following 5 months of unemployment, my Master’s degree, etc. I love them both and am incredibly grateful for everything they do.
I finally got a job an hour away (on a good day!) in Big City. Right after I got the job, I talked to my parents about possibly moving closer to my job into an apartment. However, my entry-level salary is pretty low, so the only options to me were pretty terrible. I toyed around with finding a roommate, but I lived with a ton of people in college, and was around people 24/7, so I feel like I need to know what it’s like to live on my own. Also, my dad brought up the point that my salary stands to double once I have my Master’s degree (very specialized field) and I could afford something really nice in two years.
I decided to stick it out, because I was able to put 95% of my paycheck into savings, as they allowed me to live rent free at home. I was happy...for awhile.
It’s been a year now, and I feel like I’m a little caged there. I’m an only child, so I get a lot of attention and they’ve always been very protective of me. A few examples:
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If I go anywhere, I get drilled first. Where are you going? Who’s driving? What time will you be back? Call me when you get there. For the first 6 months of my job, my mom wanted me to text her when I got to work in the morning and when I left in the afternoon. I finally put my foot down on that one.
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My mom insists on waking up with me at 6 in the morning to see me off to work. I’m usually a pretty happy person, but if I’m ever late for anything I get kind of irrationally angry/stressed. I’ve ended up snapping at her more times than I can count for little things, one time I was making my lunch and she managed to stand in front of everything I needed to get to (I needed a knife, she moved to in front of the refrigerator, I needed milk, she moves in front of the dishwasher, I needed to put my knife in the dishwasher, etc.) She gets visibly hurt if I tell her she doesn’t need to wake up with me.
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I took up running for a long time. When I told them I was leaving to go to the park, my mom would say things like, “It’s kind of hot out...why don’t you go later?” or “It’s getting dark...I don’t want you out there after dark.”
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I joined Weight Watchers in college, which my mom is extraordinarily cynical about because she tried it and it didn’t work for her (she continued to eat the way she wanted, didn’t track her food, and expected to lose weight just because there were meetings involved.) I’ve lost 30 pounds and hit a long plateau. When I tell her I’m going to a meeting, she says, “It’s not working for you, why are you still paying? Quit and save your money.”
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My dad works in the field I’m trying to get my Master’s degree in, which is completely different from my bachelor’s degree. (Master’s is very technical, Bachelor’s was fine arts) I turn to him a lot for help understanding the material. But almost every night when we both get home from work, he comes to me and goes. “Do you have class tonight? Do you need to study? What’s due? Give me the material so I can read over it.” It’s making me feel very micromanaged. When I do go to him for a quick question, he’s the type of person that goes, “Well, let’s think about this.” If I have to go to him, I’ve already tried and tried and failed, so I get pissed, and when I just want the answer I get a 30 minute explanation, it just pisses me off even more.
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My parents live in the suburbs, in the town I grew up in. I have 2 college friends that live close to me, who I’m trying to distance myself from anyway because they’re not very good friends. Anymore, my life consists of work, home, work, home, work, home. My Master’s degree classes are entirely online, so I don’t ever get to meet people or go out anywhere. My parents are kind of homebodies anyway, so they’re not really interested in leaving except maybe to go out to eat for dinner. I’m pretty introverted, but I found out in college I could be a social butterfly. Now I feel like I’m getting held back from having a life.
I know I’ll always be their little girl, and they’ll always try to shield me from the horrors of the world, but they raised me to be independent and now I feel like I’m anything but.
I don’t know what to do. There’s not really any meetups or groups in my area, and if I stay in Big City after work I still have to drive an hour home. I think the money I’m putting into savings every month will give me a solid financial foundation for life, so I’m hesitant to move out, but I can’t help but think that there’s more out there this.
TL;DR: I’m living at home after college and saving up to be able to move out when I make a buttload more money, but I’m lonely and little things my parents do are annoying me to no end. Maybe grass is greener syndrome?
Submitted June 19, 2015 at 07:37AM by livingathomewoes http://ift.tt/1IS4MWf relationships
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