Nsis was lying in bed all day watching her reality tv. This afternoon I went to put my bowl in the dishwasher but realized it was clean but not unloaded yet from the smell. Nsis heard me opening it and yelled at me patronizingly "It's already clean! Don't put your dirty dishes in there!" I told her I heard her and shut the dishwasher up again and she screamed at me patronizingly again that the dishwasher was dirty so I said the same thing (I hear you) at her again. Apparently she got mad that I wasn't going to be her little yes puppet so when I started cooking my dinner 10 minutes later she said I needed to be done with the pan in 20 minutes because she needed it when she didn't even know what I was cooking. When I told her I was making fried rice she snapped that it doesn't take 20 minutes to cook fried rice. When 4:30 rolled around she didn't even show up which makes me think it was a threat to make me afraid of her again and put me back under her control.
Nsis showed 10 minutes later than she threatened. I scooped my rice out of the pan and put it in a plastic container and filled the pan with water and put the lid on the container before I went out of the kitchen to sit at the table. Nsis took of f the lid and lectured me by saying I wasn't supposed to put a plastic lid on the hot food. I got up to clean the pan, ignoring her for now, and had to ask her if this pan could take a sponge and Nsis answered me but not without sneering at my intelligence first. I cleaned the pan but my hands were shaking with how much I wanted to kill her then. Once I was done with the pan I put the lid back on the rice because I wanted to put it in the refrigerator.
Nsis put her fists up in a boxing pose and bobbed at me threateningly, screaming at me all the time. I yelled back that I wanted the lid on and I was taking it outside with me and she screamed back so loud all the dogs went and hid in my room. I went and texted E/Nmom "[Nsis's name] just made like she was going to punch me over putting a plastic lid on my fried rice. You probably can't/won't do anything but I wanted to tell you anyhow." I was being passive-aggressive at E/Nmom but I still texted her so she couldn't deny it and knew what happened so even if she chooses to bury her head in the sand I can tell her she read what I wrote to her.
E/Nmom did text back that she'll talk to her but that never does anything and Nsis never apologizes and is back to her usual toxic self by the next day. In fact, E/Nmom will later tell me that me telling her she "can't/won't do anything" hurts her and she'll probably cry about it to her friends but when has E/Nmom ever stood up for me?? Just talking to Nsis is not enough and we're way past the time to stop Nsis because she's 19 now but I also hate E/Nmom for enabling and being ineffective.
One time in a fit of enabling last summer E/Nmom told me that Nsis was trying to change and that she even apologized to E/Nmom sometimes. I saw Nsis's apology last week and it was literally her blaming E/Nmom for causing her tantrum and it all came off as "I just couldn't help myself." If E/Nmom calls them apologies and likes it then this is definitely abuse because that's not an apology. Plus Nsis never "apologizes" to me ever.
Submitted August 17, 2017 at 06:48AM by The-Great-Game http://ift.tt/2i7kd9k raisedbynarcissists
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