Once upon a time there lived an ugly man named Johnny Piclac. He was a weird looking person with green hair (that he didn’t want). He always wore a wig to school. His parents had purple hair with blue highlights. When Johnny was born, he was smacked three times by his mom, because she was dumb and thought it was a short murderer trying to attack her. Johnny still remembered that time……… “WAKE UP YOU IDIOT!!!!! IT’S TIME FOR BREAKFAST!!! GET CHANGED INTO YOUR STUPID CLOTHES AND COME DOWN!!!!!!!!” yelled Johnny’s mom. “Fine…” said Johnny. He snuck under his blanket, (his mom not noticing) and then punched her. “WOULD YOU STOP YELLING TO WAKE ME UP BLUBBER HEAD?!?!?!?” said Johnny. “ DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT AGAIN, OR ELSE…” said Johnny’s mom, squeezing his wrist. “Alright...” said Johnny. “ I need an alarm clock…” he thought. When Johnny was at school, he thought of the end of a plan he had been planning for years. He forgot that he snuck his mini TV in his locker along with 50 boxes of bubblegum, a foldable TV, a laptop, over 1,000 pieces of crumbled up paper, and 5 sticks of dynamite. So when he opened his locker, EVERYTHING FELL ON HIM!!! While a student had matches, he was so surprised that the flaming matches flew out of his hand and landed on the dynamite! Johnny had already gotten to class, so a kid named Albert exploded because he was the only one near Johnny’s locker. His brain flew so high, that in class it crashed through the window and hit a student so he crashed into the teacher, Mrs. Frenchfri. Of course, she has 1,254 boxes of French fries. Johnny counted. Mrs. Frenchfri and the other student crashed through the wall. The teacher on the other side was so angry that he picked up a desk and threw it! He had really bad eyesight so he aimed it at Jake (another student) and it killed him. “2 people died at school today” Johnny said to his mom. “Wish you were one of them” Johnny’s mom said. “I almost was” said Johnny. “REALLY??” his mom said. “Yes” Johnny said. “DARN!” said Johnny’s mom. Johnny had remembered he set up his plan this morning. He had made a switch to start it. He ran into his room and pulled the switch. THEN ALL OF JOHNNY’S MOM’S KRUSTY KRUM UNDERWEAR FELL ON HIS MOM! ALL OF THE TRASH HAD BEEN THROWN AT THE HOUSE! ALL OF HIS BEEBEE GUNS SHOT! And then for the finale, MILLIONS OF NUTS AND BOLTS FELL!!!!!!!!!! “Where is the refrigerator?” Johnny’s Mom thought. BOOM!!!!!!!!! The refrigerator fell… “YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!” Johnny shouted. When he went downstairs, his mom’s head already fell off. “JOHNNY!!!!!! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!” said Johnny’s dad. He got out a bazooka and SHOT IT THROUGH THE DOOR! Johnny was already leaning down, looking at the head. So the shell went over Johnny. “GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!” said Johnny’s dad. Johnny had a 50 foot rope, so he tied a knot around the refrigerator. He snuck some money from his mom’s wallet. He got the map he drew to the Tasmanian Devil shop. He threw the rope out of the window and snuck out. His dad was snoring in his room, like he always does. He slid down the rope, got into his mom’s car, and drove off. He was driving, when he saw a kid that was in his school. He didn’t like him, so he floored the car and crashed into the car! The kid flew out of the car and hit a hobo! He finally got to the store, so he went in. “Hello.” said the cashier. 30 Tasmanian Devils please. “WHAT???” said the cashier. “Make that 100” Johnny said. “Okay…” said the cashier. When Johnny was home, he had already bought an iron door. He replaced his dad’s room’s door with an iron door. He opened it, let all of the Tasmanian Devils lose in his room, and locked the iron door. AHHHH! JOHNNY! WHAT THE HE--. The Tasmanian Devils already killed him. He then noticed that… HIS MOM WAS ALIVE!!!!!! “JOHNNY!!!! I AM GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!” said Johnny’s mom. He opened the iron door, but the Tasmanian Devils already escaped!!! But when he opened the front door, the Tasmanian Devils were already dead… Pet control was there. “Who dares buy these illegal Tasmanian Devils?!” said Dan the pet control guy. Johnny hurried to school. At the recess area, There was a forest to the west of the school. Johnny’s friend, Mike dared Johnny to go in the forest. Rumors spreaded about a mine in the forest. Johnny went in. “This isn’t so bad”, said Johnny. Then he found some TNT lying next to a mine… “This could come in handy…”, said Johnny. He put the TNT in his backpack. He ran into school, holding a box of matches. He quickly put them in his backpack. The bully, Chris, was walking in school “HEY CHUBBY!”, said Johnny. JOHNNY PULLED OUT THE TNT, SET IT ON FIRE, AND THREW IT! But Mrs. Chesterfield was coming out!!!!! Mrs. Chesterfield caught it and threw it in the trash. BA-BOOM!!! THE TRASH CAN EXPLODED!!! “At least that was our cheapest one.” Said Mrs. Chesterfield. (Saturday). Johnny woke up. “My birthday!! YAY!” said Johnny. He ran downstairs. He ripped a present open. “THE MIGHTY MIKE ACTION FIGURE!!!!” screamed Johnny. “Speaking of Mighty Mike, the movie is coming on!! “THE MIGHTY MIKE!” the TV said. (At night.) “The Mighty Mike episode: Mike finds tunnels in his bedroom” Johnny thought. In his closet, there was a button. He always had wanted to press it. Johnny got up and pressed it. A secret door slid open… He went in. “HEY! GET OUT OF HERE!!!! I’M IN THE SHOWER!!!!” said someone. It was a secret house connected to Johnny’s house!! He closed the door and went to sleep. In the morning Johnny’s mom came into his room. “WAKE UP FLAPJACK! I SIGNED YOU UP FOR DUMB PEOPLE CAMP!” said Johnny’s mom. “MOM!!” screamed Johnny. “It’s only for the weekends, SO GET DOWNSTAIRS! Johnny finds the brochure. “Dumb Camp: For dumb ones to learn to be more normal and better.” “What?!?!?” said Johnny. He read on. “Make your child (Or children) obey you! Let them do whatever you want!” “ I know why she wants me to go here. So she can make me commit suicide. Well not today! Johnny got “DANNY DOUGLAS DODO BRAIN CREAM. ONLY USE ON DUMB DUMB PEOPLE.” He put some in a bowl. Johnny got some “PIGGY PIE. ONLY USE ON PIGS. IF USED ON PEOPLE WILL MAKE PERSON CHANGE PERSONALITY AND MAKE CHICKEN NOISES FOR A DAY”. He put some in a bowl. Johnny got blue food coloring, and “SUPAH SALON SHAMPOO” He put both in. Johnny got some 9 inch long pills and put them in a blender. He blended them and put them in the bowl. Johnny shredded paper, put it in the blender, and blended it. He put it in the bowl. He ripped the sprouts in his mom’s garden and put them in the blender. Johnny put them in the bowl. He found a caldron and put the bowl stuff in the caldron. Johnny got a special blender and put the bowl in the blender!! VVVVVVV!!! He then blended his Mighty Mike action figure and put it in the caldron. Then he found some worms, and blended them. Then Johnny put a raccoon in the blender and blended it. He put it in the caldron. Then he put all the color food coloring in the caldron. Johnny stirred… and stirred… and stirred. He put some in a glass and gave it to his mom. “Drink it!” said Johnny. “Fine” said his mom. She drank it… She turned into a wolf to a giraffe to an elephant to a lion to a cat to a cheetah to a dog to a penguin to a panda to a person! “Hello Johnny! I love you!” said Johnny’s mom. She hugged him. “What did I do?!” thought Johnny.
Submitted August 24, 2017 at 04:32AM by cerodox http://ift.tt/2xtsZBw copypasta
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