It is my 5th week working at starbucks, 3rd week since I finished training. I have awful anxiety and depression, making it terrifying to start, but my trainer was a new SS and I was the first person he trained, and he did really well and made me feel really comfortable, as did all of my partners.
For the first week or so on my own I thought I had lucked out with the benefits and environment of the job, and started getting better at POS and bar. Then my shifts started making me do breakdown and 2hr timers and everything on my own. This was one thing my trainer didn't go over, so I basically had people walking me through it, doing whatever i was asked to do. I have messed up a few times on little things and ask way too many questions, but everyone had been treating me well and saying I was learning at a normal pace, and that it would probably take a month to feel comfortable.
My shifts have been supportive and helping me on whatever I need to do, so I have felt more confident. But today I worked a full shift with my SM and came home sobbing. He made me go through all the pm cards one by one, me not knowing what kind of cleaners to use, or how to go about cleaning certain things. When i asked him questions, he refused to fully answer them claiming that I should already know how.
While cleaning things for the pastry case, the only other barista there brought out clean pitchers and asked me to put them away, and when I started doing that my manager yelled about how i was being distracted. He then asked if anyone had cleaned the refrigerators, and i said I hadn't seen anyone do it while I was there (it was a 4hr shift, 4-8.) He then made asked me in an annoyed voice, "how long will it take you to clean them, 16 hours? 17 hours? answer me, how long?" I apologized for doing things slowly and not remembering routines, and said I could get it done as fast as I could and he called me over and scolded me for being too slow and not knowing routines.
I have been getting panic attacks before every shift and his jokes actually hurt because i have been trying really really hard to work efficiently with a positive attitude no matter what. My manager is usually a really nice guy so it was also kind of a shock that he was so blunt and not understanding. I usually dont resort to tears but I cant help but feel like an idiot for moving so slow and making so many mistakes. Am I really Iearning too slow? Will I be fired?
Submitted August 24, 2017 at 04:38AM by undecjded http://ift.tt/2wGoPsF starbucks
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