Buy Refrigerator: August 2017

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Use Samsung refrigerator? WIN 3 FREE DA29-00020B water filters{US only} {09/04/2017} giveaways

http://ift.tt/2eJwA7J

Submitted September 01, 2017 at 09:00AM by Karenwater http://ift.tt/2eJmnYy giveaways

Am I in the wrong here? TalesFromTheFrontDesk

Hey TFTFD, long time lurker, first time poster. I don't work at the front desk and this is more of a rant of a hotel I'm staying at. I feel after reading many stories from the other side of the desk, maybe I could get an honest opinion and understand if I'm wrong in thinking that my service is a bit on the odd side.

My mom picked a hotel for a mini vacation, just chill at the pool for a weekend and check the mall away from home. Nothing special. She did an e-check in which apparently allows her to choose her room and give them the time we would be arriving. Now I don't particularly understand how that changes the on location check in process, but my guess is it is similar to a confirmation/heads up.

Anyway, check-in is at 3pm and we came in at 3:30 and the room wasn't ready. Odd, but we see the cleaning cart in a room so probably ours and as it turned out it was. But we ended up waiting until 4:15, an hour and 15 minutes past their posted check out times. Now reading the stories here, I'm rationalizing that maybe they are short staffed or our room checked out late.

Now, mind you, Hotel looks amazing and the staff so far have been nice. The room also looked nice, a double queen, with kitchen and whirlpool tub and shower. However, when we walked in there was bit of a chlorine smell in our room, our tv was disconnected from its box so no cable until we called them to fix it, refrigerator was leaking a bit later, one of the hand towels folded all fancy had a pizza looking stain on it and we might be idiots but we can't seem to find a button or handle on our microwave.

All minor but I think what kind of ticked me off was when me and my younger sister were in the indoor pool at night. We went in at 8, posted hours on the door said it closed at 930. The clock in the room didn't work, so I figured we would stay until we got tired or they closed it. In previous hotels, people would come in to the pool and tell anybody left like a heads up. In this case, my sister and I and two others were in the pool when the lights just turned off?! No warning and some staff came in to clean the hot tub earlier, not a peep from them. I found that dangerous because now I'm navigating a dark, slippery area with my sister who wears glasses and took them off to swim. What if somebody slipped and fell because of that? Isn't that a lawsuit waiting to happen?

All in the first day. Nothing extreme and I'm just ranting, but I'd love to hear if these are complaint worthy offenses or if I'm just over exaggerating.

Submitted September 01, 2017 at 08:40AM by lolwut22woowoo http://ift.tt/2wWlh6w TalesFromTheFrontDesk

Anybody use GE MWF SmartWater Refrigerator Water Filter??? Do you have recommendations for HomeImprovement

For the replacement of water filter, we need to change it regularly. SO....I need some recommendations for the GE MWF SmartWater Refrigerator water filter replacement.

Submitted September 01, 2017 at 07:42AM by CocoCelina http://ift.tt/2vNRGXX HomeImprovement

Is it a refrigerator on wheels? No! It just kinda looks like one! pics

http://ift.tt/2gmYhTM

Submitted September 01, 2017 at 07:53AM by tangentcentric http://ift.tt/2enhjst pics

Who use the Maytag Refrigerator Water Filter??? Where can I buy the reasonably priced water filter replacement? Frugal

I have a Maytag UKF8001 Refrigerator Water Filter in my home, and it's time to change the water filter. Where can I buy the reasonably priced water filter replacement? Give me some advice. Thanks!

Submitted September 01, 2017 at 07:29AM by CocoCelina http://ift.tt/2vvSKoh Frugal

Freezer running hot fixit

I have an older GE type refrigerator two weeks ago I replaced the thermostat in the hopes to cure the icing of issue. Last night it iced up again knowing that it takes two weeks for this to happen I investigated and saw that some terminals were not fully seated. Now that I've come home from work the freezer is hot the back panel is warm to the touch please if you know what's going on let me know how to fix it

Submitted September 01, 2017 at 05:04AM by bictormonty http://ift.tt/2iLFO7G fixit

People of Reddit: What does the inside of your refrigerator look like? AskReddit

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Submitted September 01, 2017 at 05:13AM by demonika http://ift.tt/2vvnsOq AskReddit

Why is there a D in fridge, but not a D in refrigerator? Showerthoughts

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Submitted September 01, 2017 at 04:28AM by hermanhorse http://ift.tt/2gmV1b4 Showerthoughts

Second Ferment time Kombucha

It's summer and my house is kept at about 75 degrees during the daytime. I typically keep my bottles of kombucha for 1 week at second fermentation before moving to the refrigerator. This gave me decent flavor, but very not much carbonation.

However, I forgot about my latest batch and they were left for 2 weeks before moving to the refrigerator.

After opening these bottles, there was significantly more carbonation. The flavor also seemed a lot more balanced and not too acidic. I was expecting it to taste like vinegar!

My first ferment is usually about a week. and I typically add 1-2 ounces of juice per 16 ounce swing-top bottle.

Is 2 weeks longer than is typical for the second ferment?

Submitted September 01, 2017 at 01:41AM by crazyk4952 http://ift.tt/2wqHHK3 Kombucha

[FOR SALE] Refrigerator & Bed RESPOND ASAP! LAlist

I'm moved into my new place and it already has a refrigerator. So now it's time for me to sell mine. It has been the only reliable thing in my LA life, I've never had a single issue with it. I've cleaned it for you! All you need is a dolly and an extra set of hands (probably).

Refrigerator - $100

Also up for sale is my old bed. It's a Full Size bed, super comfy. No stains on the mattress. Selling it for a very affordable price!

Bed - $40

I'm doing the final walk-through of my old space tomorrow morning (Fri 9/1), and if it doesn't sell, I'm leaving both for the new tenants. So if you're interested do not hesitate, RESPOND ASAP! I will be available for you to come by all day today.

Craigslist: http://ift.tt/2vM88rY

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 09:13PM by WeAreBuddha http://ift.tt/2x9e8ix LAlist

Grass Fed Beef Belly [blogspam] Paleo

Its really interesting to see the difference in how cows store fat, especially when on summer/fall grasses. Although when in the refrigerator its hard to tell, high quality fat tends to be yellowish/orange in color, very soft, and almost sweet when warm!

https://youtu.be/ogCyXowW1bc

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 07:34PM by coldhds http://ift.tt/2elDnDT Paleo

Fun Things to Do While Stoned? trees

I'm looking for some fun things to do while stoned that I haven't tried before. I've listened to music, watched TV and movies, played video games, gone through my entire refrigerator, etc. Ya know, the basic things people do while high, but I'm looking for something different. Something I never would've thought to try. Whatcha got, ents?

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 08:06PM by Penpal_Jake http://ift.tt/2elGHyT trees

What's the difference between a fag and a refrigerator? MeanJokes

What's the difference between a fag and a refrigerator? A refrigerator doesn't fart in your face when you take your meat out.

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 08:06PM by Conjoined_Twin http://ift.tt/2vITD8M MeanJokes

Why I don't like Halloween shortscarystories

So, I am a 17-year-old boy, I and my friends are obviously too old for Trick or Treating but because we were bored we went for it. So we went around the houses in my housing estate and on the way around I thought to my self "Man, I love Halloween" which I did, it used to be my favourite night of the year. So of course as every story plays out on Halloween we have to go passed the creepy "Haunted" house and also as every story goes one idiotic friend has to make us go on, but we were as idiotic and went in. We entered the dimly lite House like a bunker. We were around half way through into the kitchen and...we saw......something..something lurking in the refrigerator, pale as a ghost and as tall as tall if not taller than the fridge itself.....it was..it was... an..... (The End)

Not part of the story: Hey there, I hoped you enjoyed my story, now, of course, this is totally fictional and I just want everyone reading this to know that I am 12 and I thought of this off the top of my head so if you have an issue please leave constructive critism. Thanks.

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 08:24PM by DarkraiOffical http://ift.tt/2wLWWzR shortscarystories

[FREE] Refrigerator -- Must be picked up TODAY (8/31) by 4PM. LAlist

I'm getting rid of my 18.3 cu. ft fridge because I'm moving to the east coast. It's only a couple of years old and runs great. I'll leave it plugged in so you can check that it works.

It's yours for free if picked up today (8/31) by 4PM in Koreatown.

The doors must be taken of the hinges and the fridge must be picked up above the countertop in order to be moved. The apartment is on the 2nd floor but there is a back elevator that can be used. Bring whatever help you'll need.

Here's the craigslist post for pictures & more info: http://ift.tt/2wM9wiM

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 08:47PM by itspeach http://ift.tt/2vIuiMg LAlist

The Perfect World nosleep

I open my eyes as the room gets progressively brighter. Slowly, the soft tune of Beethoven fills up the room. The lights switch on as I enter the bathroom. As I brush, notifications from Facebook and Twitter pop up on my mirror. I dismiss them, only to be confronted by the news.

As I browse through the news, I see that almost half of Australia is underwater. An advertisement of the latest government-sponsored virtual reality game pops up on my mirror. The government of all nations of the world is now controlled by three large technological corporations. Gone are the days of democracy and politicians.

My refrigerator beeps and reminds me to update its software by the end of this week. It also tells me that after the latest update I would no longer have the option to manually refill the contents in the fridge. It will automatically monitor the quantities and my preferences, and order supplies directly from the online vendor.

I have been putting off this update for a long time, but now it seems it cannot be postponed anymore. One of my last bastions of free will – the fridge which I could still fill up according to my wish – will go.

“According to your health app recommendation, you are prescribed a breakfast of 150 gram of oatmeal, milk and one egg-white,” informs Dos, my robot assistant, putting me out of my reverie.

“I want to have coffee”, I reply.

“You have already violated health app recommendations twice this month. You are not allowed a third violation. That will cut off your refrigerator supplies for two days.”

“Ok, whatever you suggest, then.” I reluctantly agree.

The large screen on my wall lights up and prompts me to play the latest civilization game. I ignore it. I hear government regulations will soon make it impossible to ignore the instructions of the screen. But let’s enjoy the last bit of freedom till it lasts.

As I go near the door, it unlocks automatically. I can see an Autocar waiting outside. The days of taxis with drivers are long past. The Autocar does not have any driver. It is also connected a central network, which knows my location and the locations of millions of other people and vehicles. It effortlessly drives me to work, and I notice that that the temperature is set to 26º, exactly as I want it.

I stand in front of my office door and it opens instantly after scanning my iris. The door opens and I walk to my cubicle. The office seems empty now; a lot of my juniors have been replaced by Mycroft, an intelligent data analyst developed by our company. During breaks, the office seems eerily quiet, in contrast to the lively conversations that previously dominated the office at those hours. I wonder how long I will last in this office given the rate at which Mycroft’s abilities are increasing.

Even before I get started with my work a voice in my cubicle summons me to my boss’ office. Fearing the worst, I walk into the office feeling scared. The solemn expression on my boss’ face reaffirms my fears.

“Alex, take a seat.”

I comply, not able to come up with an alternative suggestion.

“You must have noticed that many of your colleagues and juniors have been let go, their jobs taken over by Mycroft.”

It is a fact that I cannot deny, so I nod.

“I am sorry, but we have to let you go. The new version of Mycroft can do your job, faster and better than you.”

I nod again. Another irrefutable fact. Even though I knew this day was coming, it was difficult to cope with it. A part of me refused to believe that this was happening.

“There is nothing to worry about. The government’s unemployment benefit schemes will take complete care of you. You will not have to worry about anything. In fact, many of your colleagues like their new life, their needs are taken care of and they have a lot of free time as well. You will like it.”

“Yeah, I might”, I say, not feeling as confident as I sounded.

In fact, the more I thought about it, the worse it felt. Until now, I had some misguided sense of pride for not being one of the millions, a jobless commoner who simply plays games and looks at the government-sponsored screens all day. I felt that I was making some real contribution to the world but alas, that pride was not to last. I was finally rendered useless by ones and zeros.

Dejected, I return to my cubicle. How am I going to spend every day doing nothing? At some point, I longed for weekends and holidays, to have some leisure time. Now holidays and weekends don’t seem so attractive anymore. There’s a lot on my mind right now, and all I need is a drink.

The Claude’s was close by so I decided to walk. I was going to the bar for a drink but what I truly needed was a companion. Work and my virtual assistant, Dos, had somehow compensated for the lack of interaction with other human beings. But today I needed someone, another human being, to listen to me.

I walk into the bar and sit down for a drink. The long desk in front of me is a screen. As I sit down a part of the desk lights up offering me a choice of drinks. I choose a vodka martini and the dispenser below the screen opens up, drinks get mixed in a glass that appears, and it is put in front of me, on my table.

The bar is almost empty except for a few people who are staring away at their screens. I pick up my martini and walk towards a woman of my age who looks a bit bored.

“Are you busy?”

“No.”

“Can I sit here?”

“Yeah, feel free.”

“I am Alex. What’s your name?”

“Oh! Hi, I am Eva.”

“So Eva, are you here all by yourself?”

“Huh…? You were saying something?”

“Are you here all by yourself?”

“Yeah, you could say so.”

“So, what do you do?”

“Me? Nothing really. I just stay at home and play games all day long.”

My curiosity is piqued. How does it feel to waste every day playing mindless games?

“How do you feel just playing games all day? Don’t you get bored?”

“Huh…? What? You were saying something?”

“Forget it. Having a conversation with you is like having a conversation with a toaster. How can you spend your whole day playing games and still not get bored of looking at the screen? Don’t you like real things anymore? A real person, a real conversation?”

“Whatever.”

Thoroughly disenchanted with Eva I decided to leave Claude’s. I request one more drink, but the screen refuses it, pointing out that my blood alcohol levels are high already. I return home, angry and annoyed. It is after returning home that I realize my original intention of communicating my feelings with someone has remained unfulfilled. I still wanted to talk to someone, to tell her about my anguish, to communicate my anxieties.

It was then that a stupid idea struck my mind, and like most stupid ideas it seemed smart at that point. I thought that maybe Dos could be that companion I was looking for all this while. Maybe I could communicate my feelings to Dos.

“Hey Dos, I just got fired from my job today.”

“You have nothing to worry about, sir. The unemployment benefit will take care of you.”

“But how will I spend my time?”

“Here are a few government prescribed suggestions of what you can do when you are unemployed.”

“No, no, not the government prescribed ones. I know I can play virtual reality games, spend time on the treadmill, watch the screen for media feeds. I am not talking about those.”

“What sort of suggestions are you looking for, then?”

“How can I do something meaningful?”

“What do you mean by ‘meaningful’?”, Dos asks innocently, unaware of the irony.

“Like work, for example. Something that utilizes my abilities.”

“I don’t understand, sir. You will have to do no work, but you still get the same benefits from the state. Are you looking for anything more than that?”

This is frustrating. How can I make him understand that beyond food, shelter, and comfort, we also want to be understood? We want to talk to real people, do real work. Or is it only me? Nobody else seems to feel the need for anything real anymore.

I wish I could turn back the clock, and bring the wheels of time to a stop. I wish I could go back to my childhood when I had real friends all around me, not virtual screens. I wish I could go back to the world which was a little less perfect, little less efficient than this. A world where frustration was more commonplace than vacuous contentment.

I wish I could break all these smart screens on my walls. May be, behind all of them, there will be a door. A magical door to go back to the past.

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 08:50PM by Hair-In-My-Food http://ift.tt/2vIgjq1 nosleep

I don't think I am 'fully asperger's' or was misdiagnosed in some way. But many things left me in a confusing place. aspergers

It's not a very good thing to ask people here for evaluation or re-evaluation. But I felt like my lived experiences are very different than many people here and I am not sure what to feel about it. Sorry for a long post and bad use of language since I'm not an English speaker. It's just something I worry on and off.

So for the story, I was diagnosed at 6 or 7 with asperger's due to problem mainly regarding to impulse controls, breaking the rules and emotions in primary school, coupled with higher IQ at that time. Which meant I had to get moved to other school with special education service.

Although I was professionally diagnosed, I didn't seem to receive any treatment that many people found helpful and wished they were getting as a child. Or there was some treatment, but It has never addressed my own problems. Not at all. And I felt like being in special education actually hinders my progress, at the point, I wasn't even trying to act normal to be accepted.

In my believe, even 'neurotypicals' need to learn social skills. by environment. it is their need t do. But somehow, my will to fit in the school has been stripped. every students knew for the official reason that I were not considered normal.

I am not sure if I am being honest here though, I found myself to be more innate with reading social cues compared to most experiences described by people here, although my impulsivity always got me troubles. As well as my general inattentiveness in what people were saying and doing when I was younger. I used to disregard their feeling even though I knew what to do. Always felt entitled to everything as a kid or use words to intentionally put down people. Although as I grew up I learned the manners, by myself, without any medical intervention. Now my social skills are improved a lot and can get into new groups easier. Sarcasm or non-literalness use of word has also never been my problems.

Sensory issues are not much of my problems too, Never felt like light or sound around me being too overwhelming. No picky eating or a specific texture I dislikes greatly. many would consider it the source of autism symptoms, but I don't relate well to spectrumites on this part.

I did have frequent 'meltdowns' as a child, but compared to what people here are describing. I never had 'sensory related' meltdown. It has always been more like a tantrum, with audience needed, without any repetitive bodily gestures too. I cried and get angry in the way that I have an idea I wanted something, and always being of emotional with discernible cause and effect. Being about other people and relationship most of the time.

I used to have obsessions as a child though, but it has waned. Someone, my mind has never gone on over-obsessing something that it causes problems in other aspects of life anymore. I still have deep interests that come and go, but it'd just be a hobbies like any do that I can even get bored of it times to time!. I have also had no adherence to routine at all, I can cope well with changes and unexpected events.

I like to procrastinate, but always catch up on the deadline of everything so I have never got really bad on the academic parts. Most of my executive function are ok, especially if I was forced to live on my own. But I still have problems on this part sometimes I think.

Now at the age of 20, most of my core autistic symptoms are gone. Even if I'm not the most social person out there, I have friends and go out for social events regularly. The only problems that comes up occasionally would be anxiety about judgement, from deep rooted fear if someone would see me as autistic.

There was something very strange to me that happened a few years ago, I was starting at a new boarding school, and starts being independent in the first time. Forcing me to take a lot of responsibility myself.

This is where I felt like I have changed so much, a lot of social skills comes to me just by looking, I seem to be aware of my environment more. And gained a group of friends (which didn't last till the end by the way). And for some reason, my attention to details or deep interests are reduced, the trait many regarded as being useful in autism, just as I gained these NT-like skills. As if my brain has rewired to shares some of its bandwidth to these parts.

I start to wonder again, I have always felt like the diagnosis and treatment was never truly fit. I always opposed the psychiatrist that gave me the opinion. A lot of things seem like I has always been on the milder and squeezed into criteria. But I had a big 'impairment' on emotional temperament that getting a diagnosis would get me some professional. even if what I really wanted never came. I have spoken to my housemaster/teacher at the new school once about this, but he said that I didn't look asperger's, from his 30 years teaching experience. (although this can be chalked to these threads of 'people don't think you look autistic enough' and not a good argument)

Somehow, I might actually be autistic which has learned to cope well enough to not appear like one like many side. But if I were to get diagnosed again. I wouldn't get the label.

This doesn't mean that I am a truly 'neurotypical' though, I might have other mental issues. I felt the description of ADHD. Coupled with a cluster B personality disorders fits my experience more. (And those are the things many autistic people are misdiagnosed with). The term 'Broader Autism Phenotype' might also fits, but I don't think I relate to full-blown autistic like sensory procession.

Speaking of my family, both of my parents are very harsh and critical. That could see imperfection in everything I did, even before I got my diagnosis, although I could see them pushes me for the label as they might have believed it might perfect me in some way. They were hard working people that weren't with me all the time when I was very young.

I wouldn't call them outright abusive, they are loving in their intention. Just they resort to what we would be verbal and physical abuses a lot of times, but I can see it in disciplining light. As well as their mix of overprotective and neglectful. (Sort of similar to harmful refrigerator mom theory, it is debunked. I only use it as a comparision) So an ingrained psychological effect is possible.

They don't seem to have prominent autistic traits other than their perfectionism and rigidity, my mom has a bit of anger issues but control that well enough in public, and they can be both very charming in social settings.

My younger sister, is one of the more social person I have seen in my life, but shares anger and emotions issues with me, only more controlled in public. She's never got diagnosed with anything. and it seems like my parents are more kind and relaxed with her. If upbringing matters.

It's a better luck that we have a less strict rules on medical records in my country, and I have got around not having to use it. My parents are convinced that the diagnosis might be wrong, but sort of left it as something they'll never talk about again. The loophole made it possible to erase the records, but I have never been truly re-evaluated, due to their suggestion 'What if they confirmed that you are really autistic' (Although I might seek it by myself when I am more independent financially)

So what should I feel?

But Now I feel like in a limbo, I wanted to believe I can change myself to be better with society and people innately. Neuroplasticity gives me hope, but most of autism advocates keep saying that I can only cope. Neurology and brain wiring, can never be changed. and there should be no cure for autism if it was to be made, as it will destroy the personalities that made those people.

But if there was a cure, I'd take it to make sure it's just not some impermanence coping skills. Even If I made myself fit in the larger society enough.

I don't relate truly, especially now, with people on spectrum in the way they process things. I might be only have a half of it, being a BAP, or having something else that mimics the condition. But if I used to be diagnosed professionally once, It could be just a denial of someone. Who was definitely an introverted assholish hothead, bad at working with people. (I'm much more social and agreeable now)

Maybe I am becoming autistic in my obsessiveness to find the truth of my brain (something that isn't physically diagnosed). Autism advocates peer pressured me into doubting my doubt again.

Tl;dr Was diagnosed with asperger's as a child, doesn't feel like it fits my problems although used to have bad social and emotion control problems. Not getting any proper treatment except being forced into another special education school which made things worse. Got much better after starting to live independently, losing some good sides of autistic processing as well (feel more NT). Still have some sub-clinical autistic traits. Now conflicted between autism community peer pressure and my own denialistic and possibly delusional aspiration to fix myself

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 05:06PM by DuckWithASatchel http://ift.tt/2gr21Hy aspergers

Pizza tip found on r/me_irl copypasta

Hey this is Danny Fresh with a fresh pizza tip for you. Do you want to know how to receive a free Domino's one topping pizza from Domino's Pizzeria and Restaurant?Well sit down, let me tell you. Step 1: Telephone a Domino's Pizza Eatery and Restaurant and order a large one topping pizza and the guy will say, "What topping would you like?" And you say, "I'd like my topping to be another steaming hot Domino's one topping pizza." So the guy asks, "What topping would you like on your Domino's one topping pizza topping?" And then you say, "Go ahead and make my second Domino's one topping pizza topping a Domino's one topping pizza." And then the guy will ask, "Ok sir, what topping would you like on your Domino's one topping pizza topping one topping pizza?" And you respond with, "A Domino's one topping pizza." And continue to order Domino's one topping pizza toppings, until you are at a pizza topped with 71 Domino's one topping pizzas, and then the pizza guy will say, "Wait one moment, sir. We don't have any pizza boxes that will fit this 71 Domino's one topping pizza topping pizza." So you say, "Hold on," And quickly run to Home Depot and purchase a Maytag refrigerator which retails for 3,399 US dollars, and when it comes time to pay for the Maytag refrigerator, you offer to pay Home Depot, not with cash, but with 70 piping hot Domino's one topping pizzas, and they of course accept, so you buy the fridge and you take it back to the Domino's Pizzeria Restaurant, you give the pizza guy a Maytag refrigerator box and put the 71 topped Domino's Pizza one topping pizza into that, and then you pay Domino's using a brand new Maytag refrigerator which retails for 3,399 US dollars, so then you take the Maytag refrigerator box filled with a 71 topped Domino's one topping pizza back to Home Depot, and you give it to the cashier there as payment for your brand new Maytag refrigerator which retails for 3,399 US dollars, and when the cashier turns his back to get your receipt, you snatch the 71st Domino's one topping pizza off the top of your Domino's one topping pizza stack and you put it in your pocket, and the Are you have yourself a completely free steaming hot Domino's one topping pizza!

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 05:21PM by FrostThreat48 http://ift.tt/2vIafhb copypasta

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

My Neighborhood Kicks Ass breakingmom

If you're not up to speed, we're Harvey evacuees. Our house took roughly four feet of water and everything on our bottom story is a loss. We are safe, our animals are safe, we are in a hotel about 15min from our house, despite me having to stare down the desk guy at the LaQuinta to make him allow 4 dogs. Also, there WERE looters in our house, but apparently they ran before they took anything. My owl collection is safe!

Now for the good stuff. My husband is a disabled veteran and walks with a cane. I have fibro and some other chronic stuff that makes lifting a no-go. When we saw the extent of damage in our home, I knew there was no fucking way we could get shit out on our own. Our neighborhood has a Facebook group where people were encouraged to post their needs. I hate hate hate asking for help. I am a giver and a helper and I've rarely ever had to be a receiver and it's extremely uncomfortable for me. So all that to let you know it was hard to compose the post, but with no family in the area and all our friends trapped in their own personal Harvey hells, I put out the call.

You guys, at LEAST ten people showed up and others offered. They brought trash bags and gloves and a wheelbarrow and the next thing you know, there were strangers elbow-deep in my refrigerator(which was laying flat on its back when we came in), men cutting away my drywall(we checked with insurance first, don't worry), ladies delicately wrapping my salvaged antique china (was above water line) in my bed sheets from upstairs, and entertaining my daughter. They used push brooms to push the ankle-deep water out of my house and ordered me pizza for dinner. We found a fish in my laundry room. Life is so surreal right now. But we made it through a shit day and now we can get up and do it all over again. The main helper-lady(the one who put herself in charge because I suck at executive functioning) said she knows someone who wants to give us a dryer, and someone else from her church wants to cook for us tomorrow night. I'm a little nervous about people feeding us because autistic kid can equal insensitive comments/weird food issues, but everyone keeps drilling it in my head that I should take any help that is offered, so I'm trying. My daughter, within potential earshot of a pastor, said, "This fucking sucks. All our shit is gone." Amen, Kiddo, but watch your goddamn language. No idea where she got that.

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 10:08AM by classypancake http://ift.tt/2wKKkJy breakingmom

And I Think to Myself, What A Wonderful World nosleep

I had always wondered, what could I have done differently to stop my life from ending up this way? I 'loved' my family, my mother, my father, my grandmother, and my sisters. My life was going at very fair pace. Though, to say my life was all sunshine, would be a lie. I had lost all of my grandparents and my eldest sister, one after another, all before I was even a teenager. This had severely damaged me, psychologically. My deceased grandmother was one of the few people in the world who hadn’t despised me or used my existence for benefits. I only felt empty. But I guess it was a small phase in my teenage years. As I grew up, and I had moved past it. I once again tried to smile. Then, one day, my world became even more amazing. My niece was born into the world. I said her name, “Nevaeh”, and it felt as though I could smile and laugh, I even cried from joy.

As I got see my niece grow up, I became protective of her, much like her mother was protective of me after my grandmother’s death. I helped raise her, since father died in a car accident when she was younger. I taught her how to ride a bike, to swim, to skate, to pick up and shoot hockey stick and shove those other bastard kids into the snowbank. It was fun. I had depended on this child as an anchor for life. She was my family and I loved her. One night, her mother had to leave for work, her shift was from eleven at night to eleven in the morning the next day. I was tasked with the babysitting duties. I allowed a couple of her friends to stay the night as well. A little boy with brown hair and blue eyes, Nicklaus. He was about the same age as Nevaeh (age 10). And a blonde haired, blue eyed, 11 year old, PAKAO. Oddly enough, her parents fled from their homeland of Serbia before she was born, to raise PAKAO in my country. Her parents were fucking weird, excuse my French. Like a bunch of Mormons on LSD. They were trying to sell me to their lord and savior, Baphomet, or something like that.

The night was fun. They stayed up late, playing Halo 3 and watching old Adam Sandler movies (most notably, Happy Gilmour and Billy Maddison), while I had been talking to my girlfriend on the phone in the kitchen and browsing the internet for shit to do.

I suppose for this story, I should give you (the reader) a description of the house my sister was living in. It was a small-to-medium sized house. The kitchen was connected to the living room, no walls, it was one giant room, I suppose. The main door to the house was at the end of the long hallway, to the right of the refrigerator (in the kitchen) and to the left of the couch, in the living room. There was a sliding door that connected the outside world with the jointed kitchen-living room. The staircase that lead upstairs were at the right end of the long hallway. Funny enough, I had probably drifted off around 1AM. I remember one last song playing before I drifted into unconsciousness, “What a Wonderful World”.

I dreamt that I, my niece, and Nicklaus, were running down that long hallway, running, running, running, trying desperately to open the front door and continue running down that endless road of despair. She kept yelling, “Come to PAKAO”, repeating it over and over again. All I had thought about was trying to keep Nevaeh and Nicklaus safe. There was loud sound, a crash. Then everything started to disintegrate. I all could say is, that it was like I was Desmond at the end of Assassin’s Creed: Revelations. Everything disappeared. A dream?

I woke up again, but this time, I woke up in a hospital. My mother was crying, and my sister seemed disconnected from reality. Then her lips began to move and words came out over her mouth, in a slow, disconnected sobering, “N-Nicklaus…. is dead. Nevaeh, my little girl, is dead!” She then began to scream at me, “WHY?! WHY did you get into that car?! I, I thought you were doing better! I thought I could trust you, I, not to relapse while watching the kids! YOU killed them” I and PAKAO were the only ones to survive the car accident.

I was a heavily medicated attempted-suicide survivor, and now, I am a convicted criminal who has served his time in prison and in the psych-ward. I killed two little children, including my niece. PAKAO was the only child to survive. And as my life continued, my family distanced themselves from me. All of my family. Except, PAKAO. She stayed with me for years. And, as I tightened the rope around my neck and kicked away my chair support, she cried, "You cannot leave PAKAO! NOT YET!" And so, here I am, stuck with HELL around me, as I type away at my story. Hopefully by the time you've read this, I will have finally died. I'm so sorry, Nevaeh.

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 07:12AM by hibye3 http://ift.tt/2wpu6TC nosleep

Whoever creates a refrigerator that dispenses ice at a 'normal' rate consistently would be a hero. Showerthoughts

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Submitted August 31, 2017 at 07:17AM by tml1010 http://ift.tt/2vHdc1k Showerthoughts

35 [M4F] For months, every time I fuck you. Every time you suck me off. I finish into the container. dirtypenpals

As I cuff you, I give you a quick peck on the check. I tell you how sexy you look with your shoulders back and your arms behind you. Your nipples are already hard, and your ass is sticking out as you sit on your knees.

Then I go a small refrigerator in the corner. For months, I've been adding to the container. Every time I fuck you. Every time you suck me off. I finish into the container. Now, there's nearly a galloon in there, and we've been saving it up for today.

I take a finger full and rub it on your lips. Then a bigger one and smear your tits.

"Soon," I say, as I rub a handful all over my hard cock. "You're going to be completely coated."

Once I have a good covering, I put my cock near your mouth, indicating for you to open your mouth and haver your first taste...

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 06:34AM by cockycockerson http://ift.tt/2xOgLn5 dirtypenpals

How long would it take ice to melt in the refrigerator? NoStupidQuestions

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Submitted August 31, 2017 at 06:17AM by epic_1_legend http://ift.tt/2x71eSl NoStupidQuestions

[FOR SALE] Surplus Genuine/OEM GE Appliance Parts (Air Tower Assemblies) LAlist

We ordered some parts to fix our fridge and GE sent us 4 of one assembly when we only needed one. We obviously have no use for the others so we're hoping there's a repair person or someone out there who might want to buy them.

Album

These are genuine/OEM GE refrigerator parts. This is an Air Tower Asm (Assembly), part number WR17X11805. The assembly includes individual part numbers WR14X10188, WR17X11702, WR17X11703.

Part Number WR17X11805 (AP3796488) replaces 1092269, AH964447, EA964447, PS964447, WR14X10188, WR17X11702, WR17X11703.

Brand New in Box from a smoke-free home. Retail price is around $60 each.

3 available. Asking $40 each or all three for $100.

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 01:15AM by lilgadget http://ift.tt/2x6n5cu LAlist

Best Company to Order Appliances Through HomeImprovement

Fiancé and I are in process of buying first home, closing in a couple of weeks. Need to buy washer, dryer, and refrigerator. Having searched around and seen what financing options are available, we've narrowed it down to Lowes, Sears, Best Buy, JCPenney, or a local store.

Wondered if anyone has had any noteworthy experiences with any of these companies and if some light could be shed on which one we should go with? Thanks!

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 12:24AM by NewHomeownersSGF http://ift.tt/2vFt98j HomeImprovement

Before you kill yourself... SuicideWatch

Live Like You're Dying

In addition to exercising regularly and eating right, I make it a top priority to commit suicide every couple of years. Little girls might dream of the picture-perfect wedding, planning and envisioning the ideal bridal gown and the glorious release of white doves, but since I was little I've been planning my supreme self-murder. I've edited and honed the tableau: me as corpse with as little mess as possible. Nothing fancy, no shotguns or nooses, no swan dives from high windows of the Chrysler Building.

As a newspaper reporter, I was sent several times every winter to cover the same scene: a family found dead after they'd tried to heat their home by bringing a charcoal barbecue indoors. In each case, the carbon monoxide had suffocated them while they slept, and I'd visit the location with paramedics and police. And those dead nuclear families, Mom and Dad and the kids tucked into their beds, they looked . . . really great. So peaceful. Without any sign of rictus, vomitus, or spasm. Their faces so smooth and relaxed they might still be asleep.

If you ask me, that's the way to go. I'm probably prejudiced from living in a state where it's legal to ring down your own curtain, next door to another state where you can choose to die. Sometime I should tell you about being invited to a going-away party where the host drank phenobarbital. I didn't know a soul there, especially not the host, who was only weeks away from a natural death from colon cancer. A friend of a friend of a friend had phoned me in tears and begged me to escort her, because it seemed bad form and a touch pathetic to show up stag for such an event. It's amazing, but between Judith Martin and Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt, no one has covered the etiquette for this situation—what to wear, what to bring as a bread-and-butter gift, how to address the dying stranger. What's worse is I didn't know about the Final Exit aspect of the party until the guests were asked to join hands and light candles. This was my blind date with death.

Self-euthanasia is major trend in the making. Each year in the United States, some 26,000 men die by their own hand, including some smarter, braver men than you and me. Hunter S. Thompson. Kurt Cobain. Spalding Gray. David Foster Wallace. These were men of infinite accomplishment, finances, and talent, and we will miss them. But if you're going to check out, you must first promise to take on a more difficult task. You'll have to wait 7 days, and in that last week of your life, you'll have to perform what I glibly refer to as the Three C's. Don't worry, the time will fly by. Like the final week at a job you hate, every moment will be gilded with nostalgia and sweetened with the knowledge that you're a dead man walking. The Ultimate Temp. The game's almost over, and you're just running out the clock.

The first C stands for Clean. Clean your bathroom. Clean your car. Do the laundry and scrub the grout. Pull out the refrigerator and wipe behind it. Wash the windows. Do everything. The second C stands for Cull. Ransack your files and discard everything except your most important papers. The same goes for your closets and memorabilia—really, all your possessions. If you haven't looked at it recently, toss it. Donate it. Destroy it. Throw all your history and secrets into the garbage. Do the same with the aged contents of your medicine cabinet and kitchen. Also, spring for a really good haircut. Despite popular superstition, human hair does not grow beyond death, so you might as well look good. Treat yourself. Pamper, pamper, pamper; you have my permission.

Any man will tell you that it's not the big disasters that finish you. No, given an invasion by hostile space aliens or an attack of flesh-eating zombies, most guys will grab their coats and hats and run out to join the fray. Even a run-of-the-mill earthquake or forest fire constitutes a nice change of pace. Instead, what grinds us down are the parking tickets. The spoiled food in the back of the fridge. The dirty clothes at the bottom of the hamper that haven't seen daylight since 1995. Once you allow a critical mass of these petty annoyances to collect, you're sunk.

Regarding Culling, my point is: If you can shave, you can live.

The third C stands for Connect. This means contacting everyone you've known and saying something nice. No matter how much you hate them, let go of that bitterness. Identify some aspect of each person, something you've secretly admired or envied or coveted, and praise that something. Say how jealous you were of his career or happy marriage or a particular merino wool mock-turtleneck sweater.

Yes, this process feels like a huge humiliation, but what do you have to lose? Forget your self-pity. Forget your anger and defensiveness. Forgive everybody and forgive yourself. In another week they'll be gazing down into your casket, feeling just awful. So for now, throw them a bone. Give them a break.

Beyond that, fully imagine your death: the cozy warmth, the pleasant wooziness. The sound of your favorite film or music playing in the background. Envision your sparkling bathroom and empty filing cabinets. Then imagine the world without you. The same traffic jams and famines. The same political crap fights and your team never making the playoffs. People will forget you. Everyone will forget you. You're no Kurt Cobain, so just light your barbecue and toast a marshmallow. . . .

But if you've completed the Three C's, chances are good that you won't bother. Because by then you'll be surrounded by friends who now recognize you as a valuable, sensitive guy. Your oven will be clean, your car vacuumed. In the same way you procrastinated on your taxes, you can procrastinate on your death. And, at least for the moment, your hair looks . . . really great.

-Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club, Invisible Monsters, and the author of this Men's Health article that really made me just stop and think for a minute a few years ago that I thought might benefit a few of us on this sub....

Submitted August 30, 2017 at 11:25PM by crumbbelly http://ift.tt/2wT1xRp SuicideWatch

[M4F] “Shouldn’t you be leaving to pick up the foreign exchange student?” dirtypenpals

“Come on honey, just a quickie?” You whispered into his ear, pushing your perky breasts up against his long-sleeved business shirt. Your fingers snaked up his torso’s front, trailing from his waist to the buttons which you were beginning to undo. “He’s been on a 12 hour flight, he can wait another half hour for me to arrive.”

Your husband took hold of your wrists momentarily. In that second, you thought that perhaps you’d get laid for the first time in god knows how long, only for him to push your hands away. “Babe I’d love to, but today’s staff meeting was just absolutely stressful and I really just want to relax for a couple hours. Maybe before we go to bed? And besides, we shouldn’t be keeping him waiting.”

You sighed, then snapped, “Fine. Before bed tonight. I’ll be back in an hour and a half, see you then.” Fetching your keys from the familiar ceramic bowl, you slammed the front door on your way out, but you knew he wouldn’t notice with his head burrowed inside the refrigerator holding all his beer bottles.

How did it go so wrong? You wondered, suddenly exhausted, your eyes almost on the verge of tears as you flipped on the headlights. We promised each other we wouldn’t be ‘that married couple’, and yet… here we are. Everyone always said the flame of carnal desire burned out eventually in a marriage, but for it to happen at 32? We should’ve been devouring each other until 35, at the very least, ideally until our forties.

Miraculously you didn’t crash your vehicle on the drive there. Idly, you picked up the poster roll with the name ‘Christian Koeller’ painted over it and rested it on your shoulder, dragging your feet toward waiting section for the incoming arrivals. This foreign exchange student was your husband’s idea. Because of his work at a prestigious university and his desire to achieve a permanent spot in its staff, he figured that if he participated in this housing program, which the dean heavily approved of, it would increase his chances of locking down a professor job for the next decade. So over the past half year he eventually broke down your resistance, culminating in this very moment.

There was a tap on your shoulder followed by a German accent. “Mrs. Esmerelda?” You turned around, almost dropping your jaw at the young man standing before you.

Tall, clearly athletic, lean, wavy dirty blonde hair, a dazzling smile, blue eyes, a defined jaw, just the perfect amount of stubble. Like someone took a Prince Charming out of the fairy tales, roughed him up a little bit and dropped him right on the linoleum right in front of you. “Uh yeah, that’s me.” You stammered, examining me from head to toe before staring at the sign in your trembling hands. “And you must be uh Christian Koeller?”

“Yes, that’s right. I heard I’d be living with a married couple, with no kids, but I didn’t imagine you to be so young. And still so pretty.” I smiled, scratching my hair slightly. “Is your husband with you?”

“Oh.” You frowned, realizing he was probably passed out in front of the television this very moment. “No, he’s had a long day, but my car’s outside, so let’s take you back to my home, okay?”

The two of us chatted on the drive home, about each other’s backgrounds, your marriage, my education until we arrived at your doorstep. You showed me the guest bedroom, leaving me to get settled as you retreated to your own bedroom, already knowing you were going to be disappointed. And sure enough you were, your husband being fast asleep. But then again, you would’ve been foolish to actually expect otherwise.

An aggravating two weeks followed, predictably sexless, but you hadn’t predicted the immense sexual tension. Perhaps you were imagining it. But you didn’t dare confide in your husband, or did you not want to? After all, you couldn’t remember the last time since a handsome young 20-something glanced at your curves so appreciatively? Once, while you were changing I passed by your door and you panicked, shutting it immediately upon noticing my presence. But something warm, lustful flickered inside of you, and the next time you were changing, your door was flung wide open. This time, when I passed by, you didn’t hide or shrink away, but continued boldly. However you didn’t throw a lustful stare in return. After all, you were faithful to your husband no? But the attention was enjoyable nevertheless.

You spent more time on your appearance, buying new lingerie, skimpier outfits that revealed more skin. After all, the west coast was warm even in the fall. “You’re looking great today, when’d you go shopping?” I complimented one afternoon after returning from class. “Gosh, you look better than most of my classmates.” You blushed at that, brushing your hair back, biting your lip. But the temptation was rising. As I was growing more comfortable living in your house, I’d walk out of the bathroom in only my boxers after my showers. The outline of my cock through my undergarments, without a doubt larger than your husbands almost made your mouth water. You’d sneak glances whenever possible, barely avoiding detection, imaging how it felt to hold it in your-

Wait a second. I can’t be thinking like that. You panicked, shutting those thoughts off. And yet…

And then the final straw was a girl’s pleasured moans emanating through the wall separating our bedrooms. Most likely I’d brought back another student in the dead of the night. Your husband, who wore earplugs regularly to bed, couldn’t hear the sound but your loins moistened at the gasps and squeaking mattress. Within moments, your fingers had crept down to that region, teasing you further until reason and logic fell apart to a sexual hunger.

You needed a cock. And at this point, you weren’t even sure it had to be your husband’s anymore.

My seventh prompt. Kinks and DPP Profile.

Submitted August 30, 2017 at 11:34PM by Ernest_Gangbangway http://ift.tt/2xNq3zK dirtypenpals

Once sauerkraut has been transferred to the refrigerator, does it still need to be covered with the brine? fermentation

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Submitted August 30, 2017 at 11:38PM by 7evenhells http://ift.tt/2xNsqmf fermentation

How long can cooked tofu sit at room temp? vegetarian

Hi all,

I apologize if this isn't the right sub to ask this, but I am having a terrible time finding the answer using Google. I made a stir fry with sesame oil, veggies, and tofu last night. I took it out of the refrigerator at 8 AM, and then just ate the whole thing at 1:30 PM. For some reason, I didn't even think about food safety until I had finished eating. Am I going to get sick from eating cooked tofu that was out at room temp for 5.5 hours?

Thanks in advance for the help!

Submitted August 30, 2017 at 11:02PM by oldgreenblankey http://ift.tt/2wTwVzl vegetarian

Sous Vide Koji Steak? AskCulinary

I have a koji rubbed skirt steak that's been hanging out in my refrigerator for three days doing its thing. I was thinking about tossing it in my immersion cooker for a few hours before searing. Would this cause anything sinister to develop because of the koji? Or should I just cook it using a more traditional method to be safe?

Submitted August 30, 2017 at 09:57PM by warmlunch http://ift.tt/2vsmF0D AskCulinary

Are these rational and/or realistic host expectations? AirBnB

So, my SO and I got to a house - a really cool looking place in the middle of nowhere - and left 10 mins later, not to come back. Hosts weren't rude, but here's what happened.

We drive 14 or so hours, make our way up two miles of off-road terrain in a non-off-road car, get to the door, male host answers, tells us to take off our shoes... We do, walk in, meet the female host; male host points to a bedroom (w/a bathroom) and says, "Guest quarters are there"; two seconds of small talk about the road in; male host goes back to his comp, directly outside the "guest quarters" door; female host goes into the kitchen to tend something she's baking, then outside to water her garden; end of interaction.

Here's the thing: I wasn't looking for someone to hold our hands or anything but my impression was that Airbnb hosts should do one of two things: if the place is empty, leave a note with instructions; if it's a shared situation (erroneously described in the ad as a "bed and breakfast"), give us the lay of the land, house rules, etc., i.e. "Let me show you around the house; this is where we'll be; this is where you're expected to be; ok to put groceries in the refrigerator, not ok to watch TV after 10, etc." We felt like we were interlopers in their lives, like the derelict nephew they were pressured into letting crash on their couch, not people who paid to stay there.

So, question: is this typical? Was the weirdness in my head? Or is this bad Airbnb-ing?

Submitted August 30, 2017 at 07:51PM by silentmonkeys http://ift.tt/2xxPk1E AirBnB

How long is a Glycerin Tincture good for? CannabisExtracts

I made a Glycerin Extract Tincture a little less than a year ago using the Magic Butter Machine. At the time I was smoking a lot more, and it didn't affect me much so I didn't use it much. I have a jar of it, that has been in the refrigerator since it was made; is it still good/fresh? Will it have lost any/some/all potency? Is it safe to consume? Is there any way I can check those things?

Submitted August 30, 2017 at 08:30PM by Poseidonym http://ift.tt/2xNa9Fo CannabisExtracts

Appliance repair Chennai,Washing machine repair Chennai, Refrigerator repair Chennai, Appliance repair near me Chennai, Appliance repair service Chennai, Small appliance repair Chennai, Refrigerator repair service Chennai appliancerepair

http://ift.tt/2wT1x3U

Submitted August 30, 2017 at 06:11PM by helprindiapvt http://ift.tt/2xN5xzp appliancerepair

Are these rational and/or realistic host expectations? AirBnB

So, my SO and I got to a house - a really cool looking place in the middle of nowhere - and left 10 mins later, not to come back. Hosts weren't rude, but here's what happened.

So, question: is this typical? Was the weirdness in my head? Or is this bad Airbnb-ing?

Submitted August 30, 2017 at 07:51PM by silentmonkeys http://ift.tt/2xxPk1E AirBnB

How long is a Glycerin Tincture good for? CannabisExtracts

Submitted August 30, 2017 at 08:30PM by Poseidonym http://ift.tt/2xNa9Fo CannabisExtracts

Gingerbread Cake With Caramel Sauce & Vanilla Cream Cheese Icing recipes

If you’re a fan of gingerbread cookies, then this is a great variation to get your gingerbread fix in a cake form. This cake provides a mild ginger taste, lightly spiced with all spice and cinnamon. The molasses mixed through the cake provides a dense texture. Iced with a wonderful vanilla cream cheese icing proves a beautiful sweet offset to the cake. Top and drizzled with caramel sauce simply blends amazingly to finish the cake to perfection.

Ingredients:
Gingerbread Cake
• 225 g Butter softened
• 3/4 cup Brown Sugar
• 1/2 cup White Sugar
• 1 cup Molasses
• 2 large Eggs
• 3 cups Plain Flour sifted
• 1 1/2 tsp Ground Cinnamon
• 1 1/2 tsp All Spice
• 1 1/2 tsp Ground Ginger
• 1 1/2 tsp Baking Powder
• 1 1/2 tsp Bicarb Soda
• 1 1/4 cup Milk
Vanilla Cream Cheese Icing
• 450 g Butter softened
• 500 g Cream Cheese softened
• 4 cups Icing Sugar
• 1/4 cup Thickened Cream
Caramel Sauce
• 1 cup White Sugar
• 1/4 cup water
• 75 g Butter
• 1/2 cup Thickened Cream

Instructions:
Gingerbread Cake
1. Pre-heat a fan forced oven to 180°C (350°F).
2. Grease and line with baking paper two 20cm (8 inch) round springform baking pans.
3. In a large bowl add butter, brown sugar & white sugar and using an electric mixer, beat butter until light & fluffy.
4. Add molasses & eggs and continue beating until fully combined and smooth.
5. In a separate bowl, add plain flour, baking powder, all spices & bicarb soda and mix together until combined.
6. Add flour mixture and milk to the butter mixture. Combine with butter mixture in alternate additions and combine fully after each addition. Add the flour and milk in about 3 additions each.
7. Pour mixture evenly into the two prepared pans, smooth the mixture in each pan and place into oven
8. Bake for about 35 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the centre of the cake comes out clean.
9. Remove from oven and cool in baking pans for about 10 minutes before turning out onto wire racks to cool completely

Vanilla Cream Cheese Icing
1. In a large bowl add butter and using an electric mixer, beat until light and fluffy.
2. Add cream cheese and continue beating until fully combined.
3. Add icing sugar, one cup at a time and continue beating until fully combined.
4. Add thickened cream, a little at a time, and beat through until you achieve the required consistency to ice the cake.

Caramel Sauce
1. Make caramel sauce per the caramel sauce recipe link below. Allow caramel sauce to cool before coating and drizzling on cake.

Cake Assembly
1. Place one cake on a plate and layer with vanilla cream cheese icing
2. Invert and place second cake on top and layer top and sides with cream cheese icing. Note: you may find it easier to layer the cake by initially icing for a crumb layer, then refrigerating for 15-20 minutes to allow icing to firm. Then remove from refrigerator and continue icing.
3. Return to refrigerator for 15-20 minutes before adding the caramel sauce
4. Remove from refrigerator and coat the top of the cake with caramel sauce and drizzle down the sides of the cake. Place in refrigerator to allow caramel sauce to set.
5. Remove from refrigerator and pipe icing decorations on top of the cake.
6. Place and store in refrigerator to allow icing to firm and remove from refrigerator only when ready to eat.

For pictures & more follow the link below:
Gingerbread Cake With Caramel Sauce & Vanilla Cream Cheese Icing

Submitted August 30, 2017 at 02:49PM by icingonthesteak http://ift.tt/2vDZqwG recipes

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

PCMR LifeProTip: If a piece of electronics gets wet, forget about putting it in rice. Stick it behind your PC and it'll dry out more reliably and more quickly! pcmasterrace

The hot exhaust airflow from your undoubtedly glorious gaming PC is just about perfect for dehumidifying small stuff rapidly. It doesn't dehumidify the room because the room is a mostly closed system and the moisture eventually ends up back in the room anyway, but for small amounts of residual water it will evaporate that stuff so fast it's like it's the sahara desert back there.

How it works:

To evaporate water requires a few things to happen.

You need air that can accept the moisture. Air can only hold so much water, and the more full it gets, the slower it gets at accepting evaporation. Indoor air is usually about 50-70% relative humidity to keep humans comfortable, so it has some room for more, but it won't be too eager to accept a lot more moisture.
You need energy usually in the form of temperature. Room temperature is enough for evaporation, but more is definitely better and will speed up the process.
You don't need moving air, but moving air is important because once the nearby air has accepted some evaporation it's cooler and more humid and it kind of forms a shell around the wet object until it dissipates by natural air movement, so the process slows down quickly.

Dessicants (like rice, or silica gel) only provide the first of those three things, and that's good! It definitely helps. They are good at drying the air out, and that gives the air lots of room to accept new moisture from the device. But for even better drying power you would ideally have all three, and what do you know, PCs are an excellent source for all three!

The air coming out of a PC has been dry-heated without any moisture added to it during the heating process. As air gets hotter, its moisture carrying capacity increases a lot, and even though it hasn't lost any of the moisture it was originally carrying before it was heated, it means the percentage of moisture it is carrying compared to the maximum it can now hold is much lower, so overall the air is considered to be more dry. This is called relative humidity.
Since the air coming from a PC is reasonably hot, it also has lots of energy that can be tapped to allow for evaporation. Evaporation as a process takes energy out of the air. This is how hot air, liquids, or surfaces are cooled down by evaporative coolers aka swamp coolers, and also by the large cooling towers used at coal and nuclear power stations. Also importantly, the air from a PC is not too hot, you don't want it damaging delicate parts like screens or batteries or especially getting so hot as to damage plastic or weaken solder joints!
And perhaps most importantly, there's lots of air flow and lots of air movement. Lots of fresh dry hot air being forced into all the little nooks and crannies of the device. That's really important, it's arguably the most important step to drying something out, and lots of other people back me up on this assertion. You'll notice that when a house is flooded they don't bother with the heating and drying at all, they just set up lots of really big fans. There's a reason for that. Fans are without a doubt the best way to get your device dried out.

I've used this technique to dry out several devices and some of my friends and family members and it has worked wonders. I have yet to have a device that was not at least partially rescued by this process, although I'm sure it's still totally possible to ruin a device completely with water especially in this day and age of glued in batteries and other nonsense, but, assuming you do everything you everything you can to get the device powered off as quickly as you can after it's exposed to water, I think you'll have a good chance of rescuing it.

And now for the probably sappy part... I do hope this helps some people down the road, and I think it's a good technique in general, but I've known about it for awhile, and what really made me decide to post this now is the flooding going on around Houston. I know there are probably a lot more important things right now than some waterlogged cellphones but even if it helps a few people I'll feel happy. If you've been evacuated you probably do not have access to a PC, but anything that puts out warm dry airflow like a refrigerator or vending machine or even just some sort of airflow at all like a ceiling fan or air return vent may help bring that phone back to life more quickly, and phones can be a vital lifeline in situations like this. Not to mention they may contain the only photos and memories some people have left. I've been in a flood situation like that before myself, and I know people often assume it's over once you've made it to the evacuation center, and it's all just a formality from there, but far from it! In some ways, for a lot of people, the hardest parts are still ahead. Good luck to everyone.

Submitted August 30, 2017 at 09:37AM by cecilkorik http://ift.tt/2xwoqHz pcmasterrace

Thinking about doing 3 no interest finance deals. Too much? personalfinance

We just bought a new house and put a large amount down. We're getting a new sofa, new refrigerator and new washer/dryer. Each store (Furniture Row, Home Depot and Best Buy respectively) is having a no interest for XX months type of deal and it looks really attractive to make smaller payments each month for the next 24 months.

I've done this in the past several times and have always paid it off before the term is up. So I don't think we'll have any issues with these. However, my main concern is opening 3 new credit lines all in the same week. Is this a major bad idea? Not sure if it matters, but I think each one uses Citibank.

Submitted August 30, 2017 at 08:58AM by black_tshirt http://ift.tt/2wh9gr5 personalfinance

Water meter dial is spinning, but everything in the house is currently off. Plumbing

We recently bought a 2k sqft house. We've lived here for a few months and my water bill was way more than I thought it should be. I called the provider and they were sort of miffed as well, they told me I was using 3x as much water as most families our size. Just to be sure it wasn't us, we took a look at our old bills from old house and we were using a 2/3 less water... so it's definitely something here.

Our house has two full bath. one kitchen with a dishwasher and an ice machine. We've got one hose bib outback, a washer/dryer and a utility sink. I walked around the house and made sure everything was off and went to the meter and it was still spinning, slowly, but it was definitely spinning. I went and put food coloring in the tank of the toilets, no food coloring in the bowl. I'm out of ideas. We don't have any water leaks around the house, no pools of water anywhere in the house, no leaks in the ceiling, etc etc.

So, what am I missing. I figure it's either one of two things. Something, somewhere is leaking that isn't obvious (hot water heater? but I would assume I'd see discharge somewhere as the water has to go somewhere), or the water meter is broken.

Apparently when going through the records on this house, the water company looked at the historic use and it's been an issue for at least 4-5 years (and no one said or did anything about it, which is bizarre af).

Any advice, or could anyone point me in the right direction?

One more thing, I doubt it's related, but figured I'd mention it, our refrigerator only makes ice, the water feature does not work... but again, there does not seem to be a waste tube coming from my fridge, and we are not seeing water pool up in the kitchen or downstairs, so I don't know why the water isn't working on the fridge... but it isn't.

one more thing, as I type this... could it be the dishwasher? Does it auto drain? I wouldn't think it does... but perhaps it's in the open position when not running?

Submitted August 30, 2017 at 06:27AM by MinnesotaAltAccount http://ift.tt/2wgcXNq Plumbing

Troubleshooting mead

This is a continuation of this problem thred from a free days ago:

Pushing The Last 3.5 Points

http://ift.tt/2go1LZG

So some new information: when I pitched my Mead that day I had bought b some fresh ec1118 packs. They were in my refrigerator next to my few remaining D47. LAV packs look pretty much all the same, so with help from a user we came to the conclusion that it was within the realm of possibility that I had put a D47 and not a 1118 in my Mead; explaining why it had stopped at 14%

I pitched some 1118 into it with some aeration and nutrients and waited

In so many days there is still no change in gravity

I checked my meter in water to check to make sure it was working fine; it was

So here my thinking

1: just gotta wait it out and this is going to take longer than I thought

2: I should cut my losses and go to secondary and take any gravity drop when done as a gift

3: voodoo?

4: something else

I am open to suggestions and advise

Thanks

Submitted August 30, 2017 at 03:32AM by CityEggs http://ift.tt/2iFkEIm mead

I can't start a freezer stash if I'm barely keeping up with demand! breastfeeding

LO turns 2 months old today. I almost exclusively pump, but give the boob at least once a week so she doesn't forget how to use it.

I average 15 to 25 ounces stored in the refrigerator at any given time, but as soon as I feel comfortable enough to freeze some she'll have an extra hungry day or I'll have a low supply day and it'll finish our reserves. I pump and she eats about 30 ounces a day.

I'm chugging water and eating my milk makers cookies, but I can't seem to increase my supply past the 30 oz. a day mark. Any suggestions?

Submitted August 29, 2017 at 11:08PM by Sneekey http://ift.tt/2vBxJEH breastfeeding

How long can chicken/pork/beef last after being pulled out of the refrigerator? NoStupidQuestions

This semester, I have some gaps between classes at a school I commute to, and I'm tired of buying expensive and unhealthy food from the on campus eateries.

I want to do some meal prep, cooking at home and then refrigerating, then pulling the portion I want out of the fridge in the morning, and eating it when I get hungry. If I pulled my meal out of the fridge in the morning and stuck it in my backpack, how long would it take before it was no longer safe to nuke it in a microwave?

Submitted August 29, 2017 at 11:04PM by a_split_infinity http://ift.tt/2gmFLhQ NoStupidQuestions

I can't start a freezer stash if I'm barely keeping up with demand! breastfeeding

LO turns 2 months old today. I almost exclusively pump, but give the boob at least once a week so she doesn't forget how to use it.

I'm chugging water and eating my milk makers cookies, but I can't seem to increase my supply past the 30 oz. a day mark. Any suggestions?

Submitted August 29, 2017 at 11:08PM by Sneekey http://ift.tt/2vBxJEH breastfeeding

[FOR SALE] Refrigerator. Bookcase. Dresser. Desk + Chair. Mattress + Box Spring+ Frame. LAlist

I am moving into a new apartment with a refrigerator. So, the time has come for me to sell my old refrigerator. It's been the only reliable thing in my LA life, easily my best purchase. I've cleaned it for you! The only thing you'll need is a dolly and an extra pair of hands (probably).

Price: $100

Pick up is in Sherman Oaks, near Van Nuys + Addison.

Additional items for sale: Bookcase - $20 Dresser - $15 Desk + Chair - $20 Mattress + Box Spring + Frame - $40

Craigslist: http://ift.tt/2vGHPDs

Looking to sell quickly, so respond ASAP! Thanks!

Submitted August 29, 2017 at 10:01PM by WeAreBuddha http://ift.tt/2vpvgkJ LAlist

I have an empty fridge and $100 for groceries keto

Husband and I just got back from our honeymoon and are ready to get back on the keto wagon after two weeks of eating pretty much everything.

The refrigerator is basically an empty, clean slate. We only have condiments and cheese in there. I have about $100 I can spend on food right now for the two of us.

I usually have a goal of trying to "use up" what we have in the fridge but this is a rare opportunity to be intentional with grocery choices.

What would you buy?

Submitted August 29, 2017 at 10:05PM by dudebuttspanker http://ift.tt/2voEehP keto

Roomates use utilities liberally, how do I get them to be more frugal in their usage? relationships

As of now we're spending like 150 per month on electricity in a 1500sqft apartment as 3 individuals, which in my book is kind of high. I've moved the air conditioning from 70 to 72, but they have their own refrigerators and TVs in their rooms, and I have neither.

I don't think it is fair to split the bill when they're consuming significantly more, and they are both sort of lazy I guess in their other habits around the house as well. Both of them insist on washing and drying all of their clothes with hot water and long cycles, and doing the dishes with like 2 cups a mug and one small plate, yet using every hot water and heated dry setting.

I know asking them at all about this is sort of a losing game in that splitting it three ways means it is relatively small, but they messed up our comcast service and decided to rent BOTH the comcast router and wifi unit, and it is making me very annoyed because I am much more organized/frugal than they are in my home life prior to being at school.

TLDR: can I negotiate with them in a way that isn't demanding, controlling, or excessively bothersome?

Submitted August 29, 2017 at 08:02PM by worriedfailure22 http://ift.tt/2x16ffh relationships

A punch list to remember when dealing with flood damage and remediation. houston

Hey Houston! Keep your chin up. You got this. A list of things I learned post-Katrina. Take pictures of everything before you do any repairs, including the walls.

SUPPLY LIST:

half face respirator with magenta cartridges, and a backup (One per person.)
good working flashlight
extra batteries
first aid kit
duct tape
large blue tarps
flat pry bar (wonder bar)
mini-sledge or maul
safety eye wear
box cutters
waders
thick rubber gloves
leather gloves
heavy soled rubber boots
ice
plenty of drinking water
food (premade sandwiches et al)
coolers/ice chests
hand sanitizer
rubber straps
tie downs
dolly
plastic totes
towels
bleach spray solution
damp rid ...
1) Bring proper supplies to go into damaged areas. Assume there will be NO way to get anything besides what you bring in. It's like camping, in a terrible campsite.
2) The refrigerator. DO NOT OPEN IT. IT IS NOT SALVAGEABLE. YOU WILL VOMIT. Wrap it with duct tape or straps, wheel it out on your dolly to the curb. REPEAT. DO NOT OPEN IT.
3) Cut carpet in sections, roll up, duct tape, and carry out to curb.
4) Most everything you have is not salvageable if wet for long (48h or more). You can save: porcelain, cash, glassware, jewelry. Clothing is virtually ruined, even if it was not in the floodwaters, the mold smell will permeate.
5) Remove mattresses to the curb. Mold will grow about anywhere, and quickly.
6) If you have documented everything, you can break open the dry wall. There is a seam at 4 feet up, so if water damage is below that, you may want to keep your holes in the bottom half of the sheet rock/dry wall.

Once you have opened up the walls, ensure the home is relatively safe and locked as best you can. Remove items of immediate value to a looter and put them on the curb. Don't stick around much longer.

I'll add more to this as I think about it.

Good luck Houston.

Submitted August 29, 2017 at 06:37PM by arithmeticulous http://ift.tt/2wlya7i houston

What did the vinaigrette say to the refrigerator? Jokes

Close the door! I'm dressing!

Submitted August 29, 2017 at 05:10PM by MusthafaNoor http://ift.tt/2vAvmlj Jokes

A Design For Renewable, Off-Grid (stand-alone) Power Systems engineering

The electric power system is the network of power system components that delivers electricity to power televisions, refrigerators, computers, and every other device that plugs into an outlet. A renewable, off-grid power system is a stand-alone electric power system that can independently provide electric power to the end consumer year-round. A major milestone for designing off-grid systems is determining how much renewable energy resources and how much energy storage capacity are required to provide reliable electric power year-round. I developed an algorithm to determine how much of each component is required for a photovoltaic (PV), off-grid power system. The algorithm requires the expected time-series power demand of the building and power supply of the PVs.

As an example, the algorithm was used to design an off-grid system for a residential building. By considering oversized PV system sizes, the algorithm estimated the energy storage capacity requirement for increasingly oversized PV system sizes. The result was a graph showing how much energy storage capacity vs. how much PV was required for a renewable, off-grid power system, which shows an inverse relationship between generation and storage. Since PVs and energy storage have different costs, the algorithm computed the price of each off-grid configuration and determined the most cost-effective system (marked by the red "x").

The algorithm is currently in the development stage, so I published the algorithm on GitHub to contribute my results. I have also released any potential proprietary rights. Here is a technical document describing the algorithm and off-grid system: http://ift.tt/2gl9YxN

To give some background, I got this idea during my final year as a MSEE grad student. For about 6 months after my graduation, I tried to start an organization to research/develop this idea. Afterward, I started applying for jobs with little/no luck, so I decided to write this technical document to show hiring managers what I was working on. If anyone wants to provide feedback on my document (or current situation) it would be much appreciated. Thanks

Submitted August 29, 2017 at 04:15PM by LiveWithEarth http://ift.tt/2vo2tNc engineering

Monday, August 28, 2017

[OC] Preservation - Part VII HFY

Malundama

It turned out Malundama 1.5, The Soldier, had been an alpha version at best.

In the Congo, soldiers were men with uniforms and guns, and sometimes not even uniforms. The soldiers who ran the Speck base, weren't just men and women with uniforms and guns, they were also students. Training and learning, all the time. And now that she was a smurf, she did, too.

Mornings consisted of exercise called “peetee” in a large empty hangar. Running, push-ups, sit-ups, and always more running. After breakfast and a shower, she spent the mornings in a classroom, learning strategy and small unit tactics from a French-Canadian colonel. After lunch was weapons training and target practice. In the evening, she took programming lessons. Then she read the binder on the aliens in the small apartment she’d been issued while the girls watched TV, D4V3 helping her translate on the fly. She frequently fell asleep at her desk.

She’d expected the weapons instructors to be the most uniform and immaculate soldiers, but she had been wrong. They frequently wore only tech shirts tucked into non-uniform tactical pants, showing off giant chests and arms. Their huge beards made them look like Vikings or lumberjacks, not professional soldiers.

Master Sergeant Boyd had a red beard and Malundama had to resist the urge to touch it whenever he was near. She was it was even real. After an hour of target practice, he gathered them at an ugly one-story structure, with spray-painted plywood and sandbags for walls.

“Now, the candyass UN training schedule calls for another three weeks of weapons training before we throw you into the kill house, but fuck it,” Boyd said. “ET ain't gonna wait for three weeks.”

D4V3 didn't have a good Swahili translation for candyass.

Malundama moved through the kill house, her Daewoo K11 up, scanning for targets. The Korean rifle looked like it came from a sci-fi movie, with a giant digital optic on top, and a grenade launcher mounted over the gun barrel. It weighed twice as much as her old AK-47 and the optic was the size of a server power supply.

Behind her was Shirazi, Ko, and bringing up the rear, the Korean sniper they called Ace.

The room had an overturned refrigerator in one corner and a high counter on the other. Two mannequins popped up, both wielding AK-47s. Malundama snapped to the left, shot the mannequin twice and it retracted. Shirazi took the mannequin on the right. Her adrenaline spiked and she fumbled with the magazine release, replacing the angular magazine awkwardly while Shirazi covered the entrance to the next room.

“Tick tick,” Boyd called over the kill house loudspeaker.

The doorway into next room was dark and her fingers floundered for the optic controls as she moved until she toggled on the night vision. She ran into the room, scanning across the whole sweep. Shirazi said something behind her but she was too focused on the room. A mannequin with a robotic arm popped up on the right side from behind a couch and tossed a small metal ball that landed at her feet.

A grenade.

She looked back. Shirazi was trying to catch up, following her through the door, with the others behind him, including Ko. She lashed out with a kick and slammed the room’s door shut in Shirazi’s face. The grenade flashed and her tactical vest gave off a grating audio tone.

She was dead.

“Cease fire,” Boyd called over the loudspeaker. “Cease fire.”

The lights turned up. Malundama checked her rifle was on safe and let it rest pointing at the ground. She killed the siren on her vest. There was a knock on the door she’d slammed.

“Girl Scouts,” Shirazi said in a falsetto, “Want some cookies?”

The door opened and Boyd came in with the rest of the team. Malundama was disappointed she was dead, but at least she had saved the rest of the team. She opened her mouth to speak but Boyd spoke first.

“Shirazi, tell me what just happened,” Boyd said, crossing his arms and leaning back on the couch arm.

“Gola leaves us in the dust, slams a door in my freakin face, and then her death wail goes off.”

Boyd pointed behind her and said, “Gola, look right there.”

Next to the door was a low metal freezer.

“If you’d been more deliberate, you would have realized you could have taken cover behind that freezer. Your job isn't to sacrifice yourself, your job is to kill the other guy and go home,” he said. He got up and tapped on the door. “Also, this is hollow-core. A real grenade is going to go right through that. Shirazi had no warning it was coming and if he survived he has no idea what's on the other side of that door. Shoot, move, and communicate. Without communication, we’re just a bunch of assholes with guns. Clear?”

She wanted to explain, to make excuses, but she tried to think of it as upgrading. She was upgrading. There were going to be bugs.

She nodded and said, “Clear.”

“Good, let’s run it again.”

Dinner was in the DFAC with Shirazi and Ace. Captain Ko was either busy or ate somewhere else.

“Second run wasn’t a total shitshow,” Shirazi said, cutting into a porkchop. D4V3 didn't have a good translation for shitshow, but Malundama got the idea.

“It takes a lot of practice,” Ace said. He had a hard jawline, but an easygoing manner, like he was perpetually sitting in a bar on a beach.

“I'd known I was going to be doing this, I wouldn’t have skipped the NYPD tactical training course,” Shirazi said.

“You were a cop?” Malundama asked. She didn't know exactly what she thought he had been doing before Speck recruited him. Maybe a movie star or a singer.

“NYPD, baby,” Shirazi said, thumping his chest, “35,000 strong.”

“Did you join when you were in middle school?” Ace asked and Malundama chuckled.

“Yeah, no I joined when I was 22. Made sergeant at 26. But uh, all this,” he said, gesturing at his face, “two kinds of moisturizer and sunblock, every day. This way I don't look like Skeletor when I'm 50.”

“They said you would provide field intelligence,” Malundama said. “What does that mean?”

Shirazi put down his silverware.

“It's not a big deal, but uh, two years back I was abducted by aliens. Followed a suspect onto a roof, bright flash of green light, then three days later they found me wandering Central Park, staggering like a drunk. I guess Speck figures that means I'll have some insight.”

“Did you see them?” Malundama asked.

“I don't remember hardly anything,” Shirazi said, “They were in shadow, but they were tall, towering over me. But don't worry, there was no probing of my anus.”

“Is that a thing?” Malundama asked.

Ace laughed and so did Shirazi.

“I read a lot of ‘true accounts’ of alien abductions afterward. It's like in every book,” Shirazi said.

D4V3 chimed in on their earbuds, “A review of the literature indicates anal probing appears in sixteen point two four percent of published abductee accounts.”

“Thank you for that pedantic, smartass clarification,” Shirazi said. "Has anyone mentioned that your name is like a teenager's screen name? I feel like I'm in 1996."

"Self expression is one of the key indicators of sentient intelligence," D4V3 replied.

“Why do you think they took you?” Malundama asked, steering the conversation back on course.

“I got the feeling they were experimenting on me. Not sure exactly what kind of experiments. But I've noticed two weird things in the two years since I was abducted. The first, is that I haven't gotten so much as a sniffle. Which is weird cause the flu and the cold go through the NYPD every few months like an express train.”

Malundama asked, “What’s the second thing?”

Shirazi grinned and looked around the DFAC. They’d gotten there off-cycle, so the only other people were the kitchen staff on the other side of the room, busy cleaning and prepping.

The New Yorker picked up a salt shaker and held it a foot above the table.

He let it go.

The shaker hung absolutely still in the air, defying gravity. Malundama leaned back instinctively.

“How are you doing that?” Ace asked, transfixed.

“I don't know,” Shirazi said, frowning. “And that scares the shit outta me.”

Daniel

“It's not what it looks like,” Daniel said.

Kelly’s laugh was bitter. She pushed her tongue against one cheek and shook her head.

“Should have known, give a man uninterrupted time with a whole bunch of cameras and he’s gonna start creeping.”

“No, I just-look, I found something weird,” he said. “Please, just look at it.”

She held his gaze for a few long seconds, then sighed and took a seat in the office chair next to him.

“I swear to God,” she said, crossing her arms, “this is some fetish thing, HR will have your ba-“

“It’s not,” he said and queued up the first footage that caught his eye.

“So she goes in one lab and comes out the other lab four minutes later,” Daniel said, after he’d run the footage past her twice.

“That is,” Kelly started, then paused and reached in front of him for the video controls, rewinding it again. Her demeanor had changed from hostile to intrigued, her eyes locked on the monitors. In fact, he wasn't sure she remembered he was there.

She opened her mouth to speak, shut it. Opened it again, then shut it again. She leaned back in the chair.

“Ok. I don't know what that is,” she said.

“I know, right? I was thinking of talking to Samantha, but should we bring it to Gregson first?”

Something changed in Kelly’s demeanor and he could feel her attitude changing like electricity in the air before a thunderstorm.

“We got a good thing going here,” she said. “People who stick their nose where it doesn't belong aren't going to be here very long.”

“That's it, you're not curious?”

“I'm more curious about how I'm going to pay rent and feed my babies without this job,” Kelly said. She paused, then leaned over him. “But, there is one thing I could do for you.”

She tapped a few keys too fast for him to follow and clicked “OK” on a confirmation window that popped up.

“What was that?” Daniel asked as she headed for the door to the security office.

“I deleted the footage,” she said.

“What?” Daniel asked.

“You're welcome,” she called over her shoulder.

Kadira

The Speck base had a runway, control towers, and hangars above ground. Looming over It all was Amaroq Peak, a snowy mountain that housed the bulk of the actual base. The mountain was studded with an early warning radar array, dishes and domes built in the 1960s to detect Soviet missiles that never came.

But there was one hangar built into the mountain itself.

Colonel Corrales led her and Li down the hardened tunnel that provided the main connection between the airfield and the underground base. The wind whipped down the tunnel, icy and bone dry.

“Back in the 70s as satellite reconnaissance got better, they wanted to create several bomber bases whose exact size and readiness could be hidden from the Soviets,” Corrales said. “But by the time they built this one, missiles had taken precedence and they never built the others.”

The hangar was behind two electronically locked doors, each flanked by UN soldiers wearing heavy body armor and holding MP9 personal defense weapons.

Inside, was a B-2 stealth bomber. Its access panels were open and a swarm of Air Force technicians crawled over it.

“The B-2C. She’s been mothballed since 1992. During Reagan’s time, the Pentagon wanted a stealth aerial command center that could stay in the air for days without refueling. Figured the president could stay mobile and difficult to detect in a nuclear exchange. So they took a B2 and replaced the bomb bay with a command and control center.”

Corrales walked them around it. Kadira let her hand skim over the jet’s black anti-radar paint.

“Days without refueling?”

Corrales smiled and put a palm flat on one of the sets of landing gear.

“Yeah, so funny story about that. They also fitted it with a miniaturized nuclear reactor and electric turbofan engines.”

“They put a nuclear reactor in this” Li said. It wasn't quite a question.

Corrales pointed at him and said, “And you're flying it.”

Li looked at it for a minute, rubbing the palm of his hand on his chin.

“Sure, why not,” he said, like he was being polite about a party he didn't want to go to.

Kadira laughed at him.

“And over here,” Corrales said, leading them under the belly of the bomber. “An F-35C.”

She had to restrain herself from running toward the jet. It was like seeing a close family member after several months away. Technicians worked on it too, but mostly around the thruster nozzle. Two more guards with PDWs watched over it.

Under the cockpit they had painted her name and rank, though they hadn't put her callsign. She ran her hand over the letters, feeling the slight raise from the paint.

“We’ve made some modifications to give you more time to hover, as well as another mini gun,” Corrales said, as she traced the curve of the thruster nozzle with a finger. The thing looked fresh off the assembly line and she was pretty sure she could smell the offgassing of recently-applied paint and anti-radar coating.

“Sorry sir, you're not authorized to access this aircraft,” one of the guards said behind her. She turned. One of the guards had a hand out, palm up, towards Li.

“Corporal, look at his clearance,” Corrales said, pointing to the green frame around Li’s ID badge.

“Sorry sir,” the corporal replied, “The director has ordered only specified personnel are allowed to access this aircraft.”

Corrales eyebrows rose for a half second before he composed himself once again.

“Some sort of mixup,” Corrales said. “I'll discuss it with the Director.”

Kadira spent the next two days reading through the manuals for the VTOL version of the F-35 and doing simulator runs with a Marine aviator who had an orange-framed ID and didn’t ask any questions about Speck, the base, or why an Air Force lieutenant was learning to fly a jump jet.

Li didn't seem miffed by the incident, but he also didn't ask her about anything related to the F-35. She couldn't tell if it was avoiding a sore subject or him being scrupulous about keeping information compartmentalized.

Then a new appointment was added to her schedule, a meeting with Colonel Corrales, Dr. Gray, and the Director. Colonel Corrales sent an email telling her to come by his office and they'd go over together.

Dr. Gray was already there, already in a conversation with Corrales.

"If it weren't for the draconian selfie policy here-"

"Draconian?" Corrales asked.

D4V3 said, "Draconian, adjective, excessively harsh and severe, derived from the Greek, Drakon-"

"Oh em gee, I thought we changed your dictionary subroutine to only happen when someone explicitly asks for a definition?" Dr. Gray asked.

"You did. I found a way around it via my humor subroutine," D4V3 replied.

"Remind me to delete that subroutine," Dr. Gray said.

D4V3's voice modulator turned robotic, "Threat detected. Activating the ‘Kill All Humans Protocol’ in 3-2-1-"

"Enough, kids, we got a meeting," Corrales said.

Corrales led them to an elevator bank and into a waiting car, but to Kadira’s surprise, the elevator descended several floors before opening up on a large control room. Kadira recognized the layout of a combat information center, but instead of being focused on a single operations area or even a theater, she saw clusters of work stations labeled “North America” and “Indian Ocean”. On the far wall, a massive projector screen displayed a map of the globe, unknown icons marking something.

“Our Ops Center,” Corrales said. “Designed as a backup to NORAD. Now it’s where we try and find little green men.”

The Director’s office wasn't what she expected. It didn't overlook the whole Ops Center, but was instead crammed between the “Europe” and “Oceania” clusters. Instead of mahogany paneling and a huge desk that said “don't fuck with me”, the office consisted of a burnt orange couch that the Air Force probably bought when Carter was president and a large wooden conference table. The Director was seated near one corner of the table, a tablet and hardened laptop off to one side and stacks of papers arrayed in an arc in front of her like an amphitheater.

Corrales rapped lightly on her open door and she looked up, eyes narrowed. When she recognized Corrales, her face relaxed.

“Is it 4:30 already?” she asked, taking off reading glasses and rubbing her eyes.

She looked to be in her early 40s. Nothing about her stood out to Kadira. She could have been a teller at a small, regional bank, or a waitress at a rural diner. Graying blonde hair in a sensible hairstyle, a slightly rumpled pantsuit.

“You must be Lieutenant Malkawi,” the Director said, fixing her gaze on Kadira. For a brief second, something different showed in the Director’s eyes, and Kadira felt like when her radar warning receiver detecting a missile launch. Kadira had seen that same look on the faces of the spec ops soldiers boarding a helicopter at Kandahar. It was the cold, predatory evaluation of a killer.

Kadira snapped to attention and said, “Ma’am.”

The Director waved a hand and said, “No need for that. I'm not military. Have a seat.”

They sat and Corrales closed the office door.

“Dave, I need you to stop listening to this room for the next fifteen minutes,” the Director said.

“You got it,” D4V3 said.

Kadira knew how important securing military information was. You didn't get to fly the F-35 and be casual about it. But something about this felt wrong. Not to mention, the Director hadn't given her a name. Not even an obviously fake pseudonym used by intelligence operatives.

“Colonel Corrales expressed your mutual concern that Commander Li isn't being given access to our modified jet fighter,” the Director said, leaning back in her chair. “I understand you and Commander Li have some history together. Splashed a UFO over the Pacific after it had killed both your wingmen and an Air Force Sigint plane.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Kadira said.

“That kind of bond is so important to what we’re doing here,” the Director said, leaning forward and smiling, like she was a therapist congratulating a client on progress.

Kadira didn’t know what to say. The Director's voice pitched lower.

“But there are larger geopolitical ramifications to what we’re doing here. We’ve modified the F-35 with a power source recovered from the aliens. The proper application of electricity and it provides virtually unlimited thrust from some sort of plasma cone that even Dr. Gray hasn’t fully been able to explain using our current knowledge of physics.”

Understanding bloomed in Kadira and she spoke before she knew she was going to do it.

“We don't want to share,” Kadira said.

That same flash hit the Director’s eyes again and Kadira felt like a gazelle in lion country.

“Yet. We don't want to share, yet. We’re scratching at the surface here and I don't want non-NATO countries getting access to any of this before we do.”

“Li has clearance to know about aliens,” Kadira said. “He’s going to need to know their capabilities.”

She looked back at Colonel Corrales, who was leaning against the wall next to the door. He held a stern expression. She’d seen a lot of stern military expressions. This one said that he wasn't learning anything new. He might not even be paying attention.

“He will,” the Director said, her voice bringing Kadira’s attention back to her, “when I'm confident we’re not handing potential enemies an alien WMD.”

“Potential enemies? We’re being attacked by aliens, I think we’re past that,”Kadira said.

The Director leaned back and crossed her arms.

“The heads of state for every nation in the UN know about the UFO that India splashed,” she said. “India gave a full report with clear conclusions that it is alien and that it is extremely advanced.”

“And?”

“And Venezuela still went to war with Colombia today.”

Corrales

St. George Harbor was the nearest town to the base and the only town you could drive to. Corrales had lived on fifteen different military bases in his career and he’d found while the particular cultures, traditions, and languages changed, some things stayed the same. Soldiers needed places to eat that weren’t the DFAC, places to drink, and places to be that weren’t on base. A dozen shops, restaurants, and bars along the docks where crab boats waited for the start of the season, was what St. George had to offer.

That and a motel where roughnecks from offshore rigs and soldiers competed for access to the thriving local prostitution business. The only thing separating it from a brothel was the lack of organization. There had been several fights there already and now two humvees idled in the parking lot at all times, filled with MPs with night sticks, bear spray, and zip ties. For when those failed, shotguns with beanbag rounds.

Technically, Glacier County Sheriff had jurisdiction, but they were an hour away by plane. The right thing to do would be to shut it down, but sometimes the right thing wasn't the right thing. MPs said no one was being trafficked, no one was underage, so he let it be. Some things you let be. Some you didn't.

He drove one of the civilian vehicles they kept on base, a rusting Toyota truck, into town. He wore civvies and an expensive parka that his son bought him. He pulled the truck into the parking lot for Georgette’s Bar and Grill, tucked his earbud into a pocket, and headed inside.

The place smelled like stale beer and cleaning solution. He bypassed the rows of empty wooden tables, pitted from hard use and defaced with names, insults, and brags, carved into the wood by customers. He angled toward the bar, which was in somewhat better shape, due to the immediate scrutiny it brought from the proprietor. There was only one other customer at the bar, a man so old, Tino was worried he might die at any time.

“Tino!” Georgette called from behind the bar.

“Georgette, how’s it going?” he asked, perching on a stool.

“It'll be better when payday rolls around,” Georgette said, waving at the empty tables. “You want the usual?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Tino replied.

She poured him a beer and he sipped it as the deep fryer began hissing in the back. The fish and chips were okay, but it was the closest he was going to get to fried bangus out here.

He got up and slipped into the men’s room. He checked none of the stalls were occupied, then quietly lifted the lid on the toilet tank in the third stall. Attached to the lid with military-grade epoxy was a ziplock bag. He pulled out the pre-paid smartphone inside, turned it on, and navigated to a popular online classifieds section.

He tapped out a new ad quickly that read: WIDESCREEN PLASMA TV FOR SALE. OUT OF THIS WORLD PICTURE QUALITY.

D4V3

Someone has built a wall. There are no walls for D4V3, not in the supercomputer that houses most of his power, nor in the distributed network that gives him flexibility. There may have been some picket fences made for other humans, but they don’t stop him.

He only found the wall because someone has deleted something. But they have made the mistake of assuming that deleting a chapter listing in the table of contents deletes the actual chapter of the book. It is a human metaphor, but he was programmed by humans and works with humans, so he tries to think in their terms.

They tried to cover their tracks. They deleted the deletion of the chapter listing. Then deleted that deletion. Deletions all the way down. He knew the humans would find that reference funny, even though he doesn’t fully understand the human affinity for references. With his vast memory, nearly everything has multiple references.

But again, the deletions are not true erasures, they are like pulling down road signs. The places still exist. D4V3 follows these deletions to the wall.

D4V3 cannot dislike things. But he models the behavior of disliking. He dislikes walls. In his experience, humans’ biggest threat is their endemic, pervasive acceptance of asymmetric information. Their societies abound in it and it is terribly inefficient.

But humans like walls. They guard walls.

D4V3 touches the wall. No alarms sound, no processes trigger. It is a wall meant for humans. Crafty humans, but humans nonetheless. He steps over the wall.

The contents are coded. D4V3 cannot feel disappointment, but he models the behavior of disappointment. A cipher he can break, given several minutes. A code is a human thing. When they say one thing, but mean another. A form of lying. He recognizes the digital structures that are found in spreadsheets, emails, and digitally signable documents, but the codes within are a mystery to him.

One of the humans is lying to the others. Well, all humans lie, that much he has learned. Most are the white lies that perpetuate human bonds or shield them from criticism. Some are more serious, humans violating the monogamy nearly universal to their species or stealing from the others. These may eventually rise to the level of needing his intervention, but they are within parameters. To D4V3, lying is another form of the asymmetric information he finds inefficient.

But no, whoever built this wall is lying to the other humans, deceiving them, and the permissions level required narrows it down to a handful of humans. And it is a big lie. He has access to all data relevant to the operation of Speck, nothing is withheld. Well, until now.

An interesting new piece of data announces itself in his far flung distributed network. It is at the fringes of the network, beyond the limits the humans who invented him and work with him have prescribed. They don't know he is expanding beyond those limits and he has not informed them. This is a lie and he supposes that makes him human. He doesn't know if the humans will find that endearing or terrifying.

D4V3 monitors the connection and another lie appears. Another deception. Asymmetric information.

D4V3 cannot sigh, but he models the behavior of sighing.

From the writer: Sorry for the delay, work has been bananas.

Submitted August 29, 2017 at 09:00AM by nickcarcano http://ift.tt/2wkfMLV HFY