At what point am i too old to cry "Uncle!" and get a chance to do it all over?
In the last month, I:
had a dear friend, die.
had my furnace, die.
had sump pump, die, flooding the basement.
had refrigerator, die.
had my GF hospitalized for suicidal thoughts,
had my transmission in my VW, die.
had my gas tank in my Pontiac get a rust hole in it and leak all the gas out.
had my engine in my Subaru, die.
had to go to the emergency room for emergency surgery after an animal bite - which they said could have killed me had i waited a few hours longer (i was stupid and waited a week to go to Dr - when i was in horrible pain).
had the house air conditioner, die.
had close friends break up.
had GF hospitalized with bleeding in her brain (the same girl who a week before was hospitalized for wanting to kill herself, so those two things maybe are related).
had roomie's mom have a stroke and break both shoulders in the resulting fall.
had my insurance refuse to pay for the therapist i have already seen 5 times.
All while looking for a new place to live because i'm getting rid of my house (i have to move in 9 days), and while i'm looking for a new job.. while helping another GF renovate her house and while watching American institutions destroyed and policy being changed to hurt many people i hold dear.
i need a break.. please.. this is too much.. several friends have helped me in ways, most without knowing how insane my situation has become, but it's seriously too much.. i need a hug and a decent, running daily driver and a job and for this ride to slow down for a little bit .. i can't save everyone if i can't keep my own head above the waterline..
i can't keep going like this.. at this point i'm pretty much praying for a quick death - i'm having reoccurring dreams of returning to the mental hospital so someone else can drive, but even in my dreams, insurance won't cover it.
Submitted May 22, 2017 at 08:04PM by ineed2starve http://ift.tt/2q34Q5n offmychest
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