Original post: http://ift.tt/1PYQund
Hey everyone. So today was the last straw for us and we finally decided to end things. We actually almost broke up a couple of weeks ago; I had gotten a huge bill and was freaking out about how in the hell we were going to pay for anything and finally just reached my breaking point. We were screaming and yelling at each other and I told him that I wouldn't to leave because I couldn't take his explosive temper anymore on top of our financial woes. We ended up talking things out and he promised that he was going to make everything right, so I couldn't bring myself to actually leave him.
He landed a new job a couple of weeks ago. He managed to get on the night shift like me. Last night was supposed to be his first full night at work. When I came home from work this morning, he was at home asleep. I couldn't figure why he would be there, as he should have been home after me since my job is so close to our house and his is a little farther away. I kept asking him why he was home and not at work but I kept getting a sleepy "I don't know" until he finally woke up enough to tell me that his manager let him off early. That didn't make much sense to me because as I said before, it was supposed to have been his first full shift.
So me feeling a little suspicious and not getting the answers that I wanted, I checked the browsing history on his computer, which told me that he was online until about 11:30 when he was supposed to be at work at 11, and that he got back on around 3 am. Seeing this, I was feeling pretty angry. So I asked him if he had even gone to work last night. He acted like he had no clue what I was talking about and then whenever I confronted him about his computer he told me that he had shown up an hour late to work because he was in a game. I couldn't believe it. I was so, so angry. I told him that I couldn't believe he would be so irresponsible. He got angry back and told me that he was sick of always being million questioned about everything, and that there was nothing to worry about because he called his boss to let her know that he would be late and she said he was fine (not knowing the real reason of course). At this point I was just going on about how I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that after being unemployed for a month, and only having a job for two weeks, that he would even think about coming in late because he didn't want to be banned from his computer game for a month. So I told him that it made him look like a child, and he got so angry that he grabbed me jacket and started shaking me and screaming in my face and pushed me into the bathroom up against the wall. That's when I knew we were over.
He has always had an explosive temper and especially in the last 6 months has had a problem with breaking/hitting things when he gets angry. He has broken our door frame, a chair and our wicker laundry basket. Most of the doors in our house have paint chipping off them from him hitting them or slamming them so hard (it's an old house). Last time we almost broke up, he kicked over our refrigerator (our big one is broken so we had been relying on a mini fridge temporarily). But I have never been worried that he would try to hurt me. And he still hasn't. But he has NEVER put his hands on me in an argument. He has NEVER gotten so angry that he felt the need to physically try to overpower me so that I would shut up and listen to him. And today he did. We had just become so toxic for each other. We were both unhappy. I was mean to him a lot of the time because I was so angry about our situation and felt that it was all his fault. He can't stand the way that I argue with him and feels that my communication skills are lacking, and it completely turns him into a different person. We were having explosive screaming matches all the time. I wanted to give him a second chance to fix things, and I really REALLY wanted to make things work and go back to the way they used to be. I love him so much. But I knew that things weren't going to change when I found out that he put off going to work so that he could finish a game.
He told me a couple of weeks ago that he had been saving up for a wedding ring for me, but when he told me, I didn't really feel happy. I felt worried. All I could think about Was that If he had asked me to marry him, I wasn't 100% confident that I would truly want to say yes. I wasn't sure if I could picture spending the rest of my life with him anymore. so I guess I knew then that we weren't going to make it. He told me every day that he was in love with me, and most of the time I found myself saying "I love you too" instead. I didn't feel like I was IN love with him anymore because I was so angry and resentful at this point. But I felt like if we fixed things, I could make myself fall in love with him again.
This is my first ever long-term relationship. We lived together for a year. I had never lived on my own before until I moved in with him. Now I have our house to myself and it just feels empty. Today I had to go to the mall and ended up leaving because all I could think about was the fact that I was there alone. I have literally lost my best friend. Even though we had reached a rough patch, I still love him very much. I still want to go to him for comfort. I just feel that I have this huge gaping hole in my heart and I'm in so, so much pain. But I know that in the end this is what's best for both of us. I just am having a really hard time coming to terms with anything. So any advice as to how to move on from here would greatly be appreciated....
TL;DR: my boyfriend and I finally ended things after two years. We were having a lot of financial troubles because of him not working and I just could not let it go. He made things obvious that things weren't going to change even though he SAID they were. We had gotten so toxic for each other that I made him angry enough to put his hands on me in our final argument, which has never happened before (he didn't hit me). Even though I know it is for the best, I have lost my best friend and am feeling heartbroken and lost and sad, so I'm just looking for advice on how to move on from here
Submitted February 06, 2016 at 07:39AM by 123olive http://ift.tt/1T4ceoo relationships
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