Obligatory happened three years ago.
So, I was a part of this program in high school and I was accepted into something called the National Youth Leadership Forum (NYLF), and I got a trip to Washington D.C., did some workshops, saw some sights, and got some college credit. It was geared towards selling government careers to future college grads and they took kids to the NSA, the Pentagon, and a couple of embassies.
Well, I got the CIA. Now, this one was a bit more fickle because you had to get a background check done and prove your citizenship. Well, my father was military so I was born abroad and had dual citizenship (which the US doesn't acknowledge). But everything seemed alright because I got a little access swiping badge and I kept clearing checkpoints.
So, after passing through six or seven checkpoints finally a red flag goes up. Suddenly this walking refrigerator of a man comes up behind me, grabs my arm and escorts me into a tiny little cubical-sized room and I get my hands handcuffed with zip ties. . The room didn't even have a door, the giant just occupied the doorway.
So, now I'm standing there, bored, restrained, incredibly terrified, and all I could think was: "Dude. This. Is fucking awesome!" So, with a strong resolve to get the best bragging rights of all time, I turn around and say to Hagrid, "Dude, you should totally taser me!" I figured that getting tasered at the CIA would be way more awesome than just being detained. But, Megatron wasn't amused and told me with his prison-daddy voice that I'd have to be a serious threat in order for me to be tasered. So, with my ego terribly bruised and with the prospects of being able to tell people about this in the future, I did the only thing my silly irrational mind could think of to get tasered by the CIA: I charged a the agent.
Bad choice 3/10, wouldn't do it again.
He pretty much just lifted me by my torso and threw me on the ground. My head was pretty woozy from the impact and my ego even more damaged. Maybe about two minutes later, I was let out of the cubical-room because my background check came through. No mention was made that I got my ass handed to me, so I guess the agent thought it was funny.
I ended up missing the group photo and the only real proof I would've had that I had been there (see, it would've been better with taser marks). I actually got the picture I missed in the mail a few weeks later.
tl;dr
Infiltrated CIA, thought it was cool, wanted to get tasered, got tossed around by discount Terry Crews, was released, missed the picture, got evidence of me not being there
Submitted September 11, 2015 at 01:45AM by IFreakinLovePi http://ift.tt/1UJSraj tifu
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