I grew up in a large family. We didn’t have a dishwasher, so we all took turns doing chores. This particular night, my parents said, ‘’Fisted, make sure you soak the pans before you wash them.’’ I was confused, because I was on vacuum duty. I said, ‘’ It’s not my turn, it’s [my sister’s] turn.’’ Her and her bad 80s perm replied snottily, ‘’NO, it’s not, it’s YOUR turn.’’ My parents, obviously tired from working their asses off, making dinner then having to deal with six or seven ungrateful shits, weren’t having any of my sass. After much litigation, I ended up having to clean the kitchen AND do dishes. Fuckers. I sat on the linoleum with my back against the refrigerator wondering how this could happen. I JUST did the dishes two days ago! There are 5 people here that are able to do dishes and they can’t remember that far back?! That stupid bitch sister…her evil, knowing smile. I then spot the dog, laying on the heating vent under the table, not yet full from feasting on whatever we didn’t want to eat, covertly discarded under the table. Ah-ha. I collected all of the plates and silverware and let Murphy (I’m leaving his name the same because he was the shit.) lick all of them clean. I buffed off the lick marks with a towel. I put the dishes away in the cupboards and silverware drawer. Kitchen clean, I head to my room that I share with that bitch and her WHAM! Posters. (I still love WHAM! by the way.) The next night at dinner, my mom barks, ‘’Fisted! Set the table!’’ This brings me back to what I had done the night before, thank God. I pulled the plates out, but made sure mine was from the VERY bottom of the stack. I sat, eating dinner off of a clean plate, using a clean fork, basking in 12 year old petty revenge. They had no idea, until I told them about it at Thanksgiving, 2013.
Submitted September 03, 2015 at 03:08AM by Fisted_by_a_Midget http://ift.tt/1JNkUdv pettyrevenge
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