So I'll start this out with a stupid story from about 6 years ago. When I was 19 20 years old I skipped town dropped my career and made for Colorado with some close friends. I had an idea that I wanted to try to get into forestry fire fighting... Yadda yadda yadda I drank to much couldn't find a job to get my feet under me y'know. One thanksgiving we had a bunch of folks over and I couldn't even afford to get myself drunk at that point but people brought tons of booze over so I was more than stoked to drink all this booze, anyway I was in the kitchen chatting with some folks about God knows what and suddenly there is flames coming out of the oven and the house filling with smoke, of course in my drunken apathetic state I pointed at it and said "hey y'all ovens on fire" couple people started freaking out and put out the fire all the while I was just standing there leaning against the refrigerator drinking whiskey watching with out a care, after the flames subside my friend turns to me red faced and pissed and says "What the fuck potatoe arent you supposed to be trying to get into fire fighting?" I smiled real big with drunken stupid grin and said "Hell yeah look comfortable I was around that fire" .... Fast forward to present day. My boss is pretty high up in our local volunteer fire dept and dragged me into the dept, couple Saturday mornings a month talking about fire and big trucks isn't so bad. My boss is also a CA if ever seen one so when I show up to the meeting reeking of booze nobody bats an eye. Now here entails the "big things" I'm a pretty big fella, been working for as long I can remember, so ive managed to keep quite a bit of muscle on myself despite the bottle. Now due to my size and work ethic my boss and the fire chief have been trying to get me to step up and get into school to get certified as a REAL MOTHER FUCKER'N FORESTRY FIRE FIGHTER, you might think the answer is obvious here fuck'n do it stupid dry out and fulfill your fuck'n childhood dreams, well its not that easy as you all know. It's painful either path take, I've already signed the nuptials with this bottle and can't make through the morning without a drink how am I going to stop a forest fire? I love/need the bottle its been my only truely loyal friend but there is days that I yearn for more than just the drink and a mediocre job. So here lies the trials and tribulations of being a potatoe king.
Submitted September 04, 2015 at 10:43PM by ThePotatoeKing http://ift.tt/1JERBWZ cripplingalcoholism
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